Would you tell some one they smell badly?

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I understand that Dart subsequently apologised but , as several have observed, this was a tennis match, presumably out in the open air. If out in the open air, how was it offensive ? Athletes sweat during tennis matches , did no one ever see our beloved Rafa sweating ? Who cared!!!!!
Why could not Dart , if she was being kind , have mentioned this in private , after the match.
I think that this was appalling , vulgar behaviour by Dart.
I also understand that Dart lost the match.
So she was a sore loser as well.

I once did have to tell a close friend (workmates said I was the best person) and she never spoke to me again. Just saying …

Our English teacher at school had shocking BO. We used to open windows before lesson. One of our form put bottle of Mum Rolette in her car. She was absolutely white with rage at us all, and the BO continued… 😖

Many years ago my mother had three roles in a national department store. Staff Manageress, Personnel Officer and Head Cashier. When she retired three positions were created for three people. I was a teenager at the time and one evening I could see that my usually cool, calm and collected mother was a bit anxious. I asked her what was wrong and she swore me to secrecy. She had been instructed by the Store Manager that staff had complained to him that one of the supervisors smelled badly of B.O. and my Mum had got to speak to the person concerned. Even more embarrassing my mum and this lady travelled to work on the bus together each day and were good friends. I was horrified. I could not imagine a more embarrassing situation for either of them to be in. My mum did the deed the next day. She didn't disclose any details but I think she learned not to mix friendships with colleagues too closely in future.

hugshelp

I was in hospital a few years ago, and for a spell was unable to get out of bed. I wasn't offered a wash for two days and couldn't get one - I also couldn't speak to ask for one. {incidently I also wasn't given a drink of water during those two days and wasn't on a drip). I was probably quite sweaty and manky from using a bed pan. On day 3, a nurse washed me and shouted across the ward asking if any of the other patients had any deodorant. There was some in my side cupboard but she didn't look. Slightly off topic, but an example I believe in how not to raise the issue.

What a terrible ordeal for you. I know that kind of neglect happens on some hospital wards. I hope you complained.

It was pretty normal decades ago not to have a bath, let alone a shower, every day. There were 6 of us in my family, one bathroom, no shower. So no way could we all have a bath every day - there’d never have been enough hot water. We had what was delicately called a ‘proper wash’ every day - and certainly in the late 60s deodorants were available.

One reason I disliked games at school was the smelly changing rooms - it was all too obvious who wasn’t using deodorant!

Only if they ask me. Then I’d be polite about it but honest.

I remember a fellow student when I was at college who had a disgusting body odour. A fellow student told her she smelt dreadful. The girl gave her apology and said that she knew about her body odour but couldn't do anything about it, and it was worse during menstruation.
What an awful problem !

I think it was a case of smelly grapes as she was losing. Very unprofessional tactic.

I worked with somebody who was the son of a business owner. No tact or gentle conversation . i was told that his dad would call the person to one side and state clearly that "you stink". "do something about it"

I was in hospital a few years ago, and for a spell was unable to get out of bed. I wasn't offered a wash for two days and couldn't get one - I also couldn't speak to ask for one. {incidently I also wasn't given a drink of water during those two days and wasn't on a drip). I was probably quite sweaty and manky from using a bed pan. On day 3, a nurse washed me and shouted across the ward asking if any of the other patients had any deodorant. There was some in my side cupboard but she didn't look. Slightly off topic, but an example I believe in how not to raise the issue.

My eldest DD takes after my mother - both can and could smell anything more keenly than "normal" people, often when others couldn't smell a think! So take care if you are one of those people.

A few years ago I crossed a crowded room to speak to a friend and when I started I felt her visibly flinch. She said nothing but it bothered me so I made an appointment with my dentist and he found a decaying tooth causing the pong. He fixed it up and told me it was very common to not notice such a smell as it is easy to get used to over time.

Had I not had it fixed I could have lost the tooth - and I am a tad short of teeth anyway!

HelterSkelter1

You are right NotSpaghetti. The question was would you tell someone.

Very difficult as demonstrated above after being accused of racism.
It must ɓe done privately. And not in a situation when the person concerned can do nothing about it at the time.
Clothes can often smell dank if stored in a damp place. And we so often hear now about tenants complaining to landlords about damp accommodation. So that would be an awful situation to be in.
Bad breath is another tricky one. Even difficult to mention to nearest and dearest. And can have so many causes not just garlic and coffee.

Now you've got me worried.
COFFEE?? a bad smell????????????????????
Garlic - yes, but coffee??? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Or have I been smelly for most of my life??

Yes, in certain circumstances I would.

Astitchintime

Well, if Harriet claims she could smell her opponent from across the court then it surely could be anyone with B.O. in the immediate location - umpire - ball person - line person - audience .......... you do have to be pretty close to someone to identify if they have B.O. surely?
And why 'go public'? Whatever happened to discretion and respect?

You really don't have to be close o smell somebody's BO. There was a girl in the local Tesco that did the picking for the click and collect, you could still smell where she had been when she'd left the aisle. I had to complain to Tesco about it in the end, it was awful.

I'm sometimes very grateful to have a facemask with me when I am on the bus...

Gracie12

I once had a supply teacher in my school when I was a headteacher of a Primary school...the BO was over powering and other staff were complaining to me about it...I did have a quiet word and the teacher went home to shower and use deodorant.She returned to school later that day and smelt fresh...later I had a deputation from the ladies Church accusing me of being racist as she was a Jamaican woman...the unions became involved but the case was dropped.I have to admit it was one of the hardest conversations I had ver had ..

If there is ever a next time, you will have to slip an anonymous note in her bag/pocket. You have the other staff to consider but very unfair on you to get all the flack. It is awful to be near someone who smells, such people must know if they haven't washed (for a while).

I did once tell a close friend that his breath smelt - he didn't clean his teeth well and never flossed. He took it well, began to floss and ceased to have smelly breath. I think we do no smell ourselves readily - we just get used to it.

Greciangirl
I just don't believe that.
I think the reasons are many and varied.

TillyTrotter

If someone was in close proximity to me regularly, maybe, but in private.
Certainly not to a third person, on a public address system.
It was a spiteful comment and extremely bad manners from one of GB’s top tennis players.

Agreed.
There’s a time and a place if you feel it needs saying.
My most difficult ‘having to tell’ was the vicar. I tactfully (as I thought) approached his wife about it.
Her reaction was Please tell him. He takes no notice of me!
Trying to find a time and a place to talk to the vicar was a challenge.

Let’s face it.:: most people with BO smell because they either don’t wash frequently, or refuse to use deodorant claiming that it might possibly cause cancer.

Anything but get in the shower or bath. Lazy so and so’s.

It would entirely depend on my relationship to the person involved whether I would mention something so personal or not.

One one occasion, I taught a class of eleven year olds, one of the girls was ahead of the others in her physical development, as is quite usual amongst this age group, and she suddenly started to smell very strongly of under arm sweat.

I knew that this poor child had parents who took practically no interest in their two daughters, so I was very sure nothing would be done to address the problem in the girl's home.

I tackled the matter by speaking to this girl's elder sister, whom I also taught and simply said, I had noticed it was time her younger sister started using a deoderant, and that her classmates were beginning not to say anything, but perhaps even more hurtfully just move away from her. We agreed big sister and I, that the little sister did not need to know I had mentioned the matter.

The problem was solved the following day.

It is harder to tell an adult that they smell than a pubescent girl or boy that the time has come for grown-up toiletries, admittedly, but a discreet word in private can sometimes be necessary.

Says above lot about Harriet Dart. Losing.. and dealt a very low,spiteful and unsporting blow against her opponent...bad loser to say something like that publicly, true or otherwise! She knew there were microphones there.

It’s not only stale sweat that smells. Nervous sweat (sometimes called stress sweat?) has a very distinctive unpleasant smell.