Feeling like I missed out on so much in life

travelsafar perhaps look to what you have done - you were a manager in your last job, that is doing more. Perhaps you raised amazing children? You have a lovely friend circle if I recall correctly.

Similar to you, I would have liked to go to University. I didn't, I married the love of my life at 16 years old, was pregnant 8 times and gave birth to 4 lovely daughters -- education enough.

I'm happy with my life, boring to many, but wonderful for me.

Serenity prayer!

Sarnia

I wanted to join the Wrens but my Dad flatly refused to see his only daughter join the Royal Navy. Staying at home resulted in 2 unpleasant marriages. I often wonder what if..............

I was set to work overseas but then met DH and didn't. I sometimes wonder what if .....

YES Monica.
Today is actually the first day of the rest of your life. No more regrets just do what you can to make the most of what is possible. See what is there and grab with both hands.

Sarnia

I wanted to join the Wrens but my Dad flatly refused to see his only daughter join the Royal Navy. Staying at home resulted in 2 unpleasant marriages. I often wonder what if..............

One of my best friends joined the Wrens and was dreadfully homesick and had to come home after a very short time. She ended up working in shops and doing cleaning for people although she was very bright indeed.
After the Wrens experience nobody advised or supported her really.
She married a very nice, quiet man who was a home bird so she became one too and always wondered what if ……

She was married 45 years and her husband died last year and she has now booked her first ever foreign holiday as they never went abroad. It is like seeing a bird released from captivity! She is so happy and relaxed now and able to make her own choices.

I wanted to join the Wrens but my Dad flatly refused to see his only daughter join the Royal Navy. Staying at home resulted in 2 unpleasant marriages. I often wonder what if..............

I regret spending too much time doing what others wanted me to do. I should have had the confidence to do what I wanted and not been swayed by other people. I also worried about what people thought of me and I always put others first.

I would say to young people now “listen to your heart because you only get one crack at life.”

“We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” ― Marcel Proust

I've had a reasonably good life in spite of a bad start. But I do wish I'd been born into a nice normal family instead of being put up for adoption at the age of two weeks. It's hard to realise that neither parent wanted to take on the responsibility of raising me.

Well said lafergar. At the risk of harping on, when my mother took me to a dentist aged 11 and let him take all my teeth out, I knew my life would never be the same as other people's. Any bit of confidence I had, which wasn't much living in a violent, abusive household, went out of the window.

Travelsafar You have much to be proud of. I remember your terrible experience during COVID.
Since then I know you have found the courage to move home and start afresh. I don't think you are being at all negative. Just looking back and thinking of what might have been. I think we all do that from time to time, but still manage to live our lives positively and count our blessings.
I wish the best for you.

Yes, annodomini - and either loved it, or, like me, decided it was one thing I could do without!

lafergar

If anybody starts a thread with any degree of looking back or negativity, they will fairly swiftly be jumped on and told to get on with things.

Possibly also that old chestnut about other people being worse off will appear.

Not everybody has the resilience, strength, finances and support network to be constantly pushing forward.

It's OK to not be OK.

👏👏👏👏 Spot on

crazyH

I love this:
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and
the Wisdom to know the difference

Me too! But it’s so much easier to read and quote it than actually do it

My parents were not perfect. However, they got me a great education (11+) . Encouraged me to go to Uni. Then to travel and live in America for a while. My regret is I didn't appreciate it at the time. I wish they were alive now, so I could hug them and thank them.

Also thinking about the "right" things that have happened in your life is a good approach.

Our lives are what they are. Regrets are pointless. Much better to take ones life in ones hands and make the most of what is left to us than sit around regretting the past

I agree Monica Best to acknowledge regrets then look at alternatives and opportunities in the here and now.

This thread has made me think about how extraordinarily lucky I have been for most, if not all, of my 84 years. A great education in my homeland of Scotland, both at school and university; a home full of books and carte blanche to read as widely as I chose; a job that took me out of my native land and comfort zone; opportunity to travel, though I would have liked to visit Asia and South America. I count myself lucky in that the end of my marriage gave me further opportunities to 'be myself'; and, most of all, two sons and their families, whose love and support make me the happiest of octogenarians. What have I missed out on? Well, I could have learnt to ski...

Well said M0nica - cheer up OP, accept and celebrate who and what you are .
If you are constantly looking backwards you risk missing out on now and on the blessings you could enjoy. You also risk falling flat on your face if you don’t look ahead at where you are going
You can’t blame lack of guidance or other people all the time, you are you and your experiences are what shaped you.
So learn that language (Duolingo is free) or to play an instrument!
You can’t change the past but you can change how you cope with the present.

If anybody starts a thread with any degree of looking back or negativity, they will fairly swiftly be jumped on and told to get on with things.

Possibly also that old chestnut about other people being worse off will appear.

Not everybody has the resilience, strength, finances and support network to be constantly pushing forward.

It's OK to not be OK.

Thankyou keeping quiet, my sentiments too! Many things I would have liked to do - but so many things I have never had to endure.

Looking backwards all the time means you never see the opportunities ahead of you until they have passed you by.

So stop regretting the past and make sure you take any opportunities coming your way now and in the future.

And make sure you train your mind to see opportunities when they appear. Too often those who spend their life regreting the past, do not see opportunities when they appear, not even when they ring the bell and introduce themselves.

Regrets are part of life and whatever you did you can't undo anyway. Any decisions that you ever make are taking account of the circumstances and information you had at the time -so although things might change later - back at the time it was still right!!
I have spent my life wondering what it would have been like if I had been able to hear normally and not wear hearing aids. Things like going swimming, hearing conversations from someone in another room to you without having to go and find them, and stuff that normal hearing people take for granted.

escaped

The only thing I feel I missed out on was having a brother or sister. Especially the older I got, and now.

I feel exactly the same. I know those with siblings may disagree, but being the Only One is a responsibility.

Nothing I dont think. Thankfully.
I am a bit concerned I am not going to get things right going forward.
I could end up for example, doing too much work, and not enough play.

I regret many things I did. Not so much what I didn’t do. Like a few other posters, I lacked guidance so made many mistakes and upset many people which I hugely regret. However here I am with a good husband, nice home and garden and enough money. Can’t complain.