Gransnet forums

Chat

Anyone else 'let themselves go'?

(143 Posts)
Aveline Sun 29-Jun-25 10:03:49

I had a thought this morning as I got into my unironed trousers and top and shook my hair: I've let myself go. I gave up on make up, won't wear uncomfortable clothes and definitely no uncomfortable shoes no matter what they look like.
I'm quite happy. I don't care about 'being judged'. Maybe it's the confidence of older age or maybe I'm just a slob. Is it just me?

petra Mon 30-Jun-25 12:13:07

I had two comments made to me recently in the charity where I work.
One of our regulars who brings home made cakes in and has a cup of tea said to me ^your so stylish but so ordinary^🤷‍♀️
Then my manger ( who is now a close friend) said i thought you were posh why? because of the way you dress 😂

Samsara1 Mon 30-Jun-25 11:54:39

Just to mention my extra accessory today is an ice pack in my knickers ass the back has gone again so it looks like I have a bustle.

Samsara1 Mon 30-Jun-25 11:53:27

I'm a tidy one too. I wore a uniform for much of my life and then when office based I wore another sort of uniform as the dress code was formal. Here I am on a very hot day hair and make up done, co-ordinated accessories, light jersey summer dress but no shoes at all in the house, ever. Same every day.

Aveline Mon 30-Jun-25 11:52:40

😂😂😂 it's my demeanor that people respond to not my clothes darling. But, as the youngsters say, 'you do you'!

petra Mon 30-Jun-25 11:35:11

M0nica

As my grandmother always said, Unattractive clothes are just as expensive as ones you look good in.

All clothing is a conscious choice, even if you choose to live in a binbag and like it or not people respond to you unconsciously based on what you are wearing.

If people see someone coming down the road who is wearing random clothing, unwashed and unironed, their impression, for an older person will be sympathy,and an element of paatronage for a poor old dear, who is probably not mentally all there.

Our clothes reflect the value we put on ourselves. Some people, like Shirley Williams, coul get away with looking like as if her clothes are an obstacle course to doing something more important. But he people who can do that are very very few. Most people who look a mess, will, sadly, not always be treated with the respect they deserve.

As I said unbecoming clothes are no cheaper than flattering items and I have never understood the idea that equates dressing well with being uncomfortable. I have never worn uncomfortable clothes, not bras, not shoes, not even dressing up for an evening out.

Someone recently said something to me that suggested that I am seen as a stylish dresser, in a bohemian style, but it takes no more effort to put on pretty underwear for MY benefit and a pull a pretty summerdress over my head, in a flattering colour as pull on a worn black T shirt and shapeless black trousers, over faded and stretched underwear.

You said it all. 👏👏👏👏

HeavenLeigh Mon 30-Jun-25 11:27:27

Well said monica

Ilovedogs22 Mon 30-Jun-25 10:18:44

merlotgran

^I didn’t let myself go, I got up one morning and I’d gone!!’^

I love that. 😂😂

Brilliant. 😊👏💕

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 30-Jun-25 10:08:18

I never leave the house without earrings and perfume. Otherwise, so long as my clothes are clean and my hair brushed, I’m fine.

Astitchintime Mon 30-Jun-25 10:04:23

Following a serious accident a few years ago I had no choice. I had always been very active but the impact on my mobility was horrendous and my mental health took a nose dive too.
However, I have come through it and I am improving daily although I’ll never be as physically fit as I used to be.
As for appearance, if I’m going out I do make more effort with what I am wearing, my hair is always tidy regardless but when I am at home I wear what I want.

M0nica Mon 30-Jun-25 09:59:04

As my grandmother always said, Unattractive clothes are just as expensive as ones you look good in.

All clothing is a conscious choice, even if you choose to live in a binbag and like it or not people respond to you unconsciously based on what you are wearing.

If people see someone coming down the road who is wearing random clothing, unwashed and unironed, their impression, for an older person will be sympathy,and an element of paatronage for a poor old dear, who is probably not mentally all there.

Our clothes reflect the value we put on ourselves. Some people, like Shirley Williams, coul get away with looking like as if her clothes are an obstacle course to doing something more important. But he people who can do that are very very few. Most people who look a mess, will, sadly, not always be treated with the respect they deserve.

As I said unbecoming clothes are no cheaper than flattering items and I have never understood the idea that equates dressing well with being uncomfortable. I have never worn uncomfortable clothes, not bras, not shoes, not even dressing up for an evening out.

Someone recently said something to me that suggested that I am seen as a stylish dresser, in a bohemian style, but it takes no more effort to put on pretty underwear for MY benefit and a pull a pretty summerdress over my head, in a flattering colour as pull on a worn black T shirt and shapeless black trousers, over faded and stretched underwear.

RosesandLilac Mon 30-Jun-25 05:42:57

After years of wearing a uniform followed by even longer wearing corporate clothes I’m happy being comfortable in clean, sometimes ironed and tidy clothing, clean hair and no makeup (I can’t remember the last time I wore any!). I dress for myself and that’ll suit me fine.
I also enjoy ironing, especially bed linen - there’s nothing nicer than line-dried, ironed sheets ❤️

grandMattie Mon 30-Jun-25 04:27:00

I have never ironed jeans or T-shirts. Body warmth does that for you.
I confess to ironing the rest of my clothes, if only because I don’t like having hems all over the place and the fabric feels nicer against my skin.
DH liked his daily handkerchiefs ironed and the sheets and pillowcases done too.

CocoPops Mon 30-Jun-25 00:57:58

I can't remember the last time I wore a dress and there's no skirt in my closet. I keep it simple and wear shorts or jeans, tee- shirts, hoodies, trainers or sandals. People in my neighbourhood dress very casually and much the same whether they are at home or out and about. I have a good haircut and only in the winter when I look a bit sallow do I bung a bit of blusher on.

AmberGran Sun 29-Jun-25 21:16:17

Why the inference that comfy clothes are linked to letting yourself go

petra that's exactly what I can't understand. All these people who have spent their lives in uncomfortable clothes. Why??

Makes you wonder whether some posters are only just giving up their corsets.

merlotgran Sun 29-Jun-25 21:11:17

I didn’t let myself go, I got up one morning and I’d gone!!’

I love that. 😂😂

crazyH Sun 29-Jun-25 21:06:30

This topic has racked up 4 pages of posts in 12 hours😳

RosieandherMaw Sun 29-Jun-25 21:01:05

Says it all

ronib Sun 29-Jun-25 20:39:16

How to dress old money for beginners? I love it …. petra

petra Sun 29-Jun-25 20:37:44

Fatoldlady

Sometimes i wonder whatever happened to "women's lib". Would you find a man wondering if he'd "let himself go" cos he was wearing comfy clothes? I very much doubt it!

I've always worn what I want, when I want. It's sleeveless top and shorts at the moment as it's so hot - I don't see the point of trying to cover up my 19st (very!) fat legs and arms as some would - why should I be uncomfortably hot?

Why the inference that comfy clothes are linked to letting yourself go.
I have very similar to this outfit. As you can see they are very comfortable

Tess46 Sun 29-Jun-25 20:11:58

I had a close friend who was very beautiful and slim and always wore make up and high heels daily. Her husband left her for another woman and my friend was distraught. I said come and stay for a break so she did. Anyway we were sitting in the kitchen and she was crying her heart out and at one point she wailed ‘all my friends have let themselves go but their husbands haven’t left’. I had to grip myself because hysterical laughter was bubbling inside me because I wanted to say ‘ I didn’t let myself go, I got up one morning and I’d gone!!’ Even all these years later I can laugh at the memory of that moment…..

twiglet77 Sun 29-Jun-25 20:00:45

I’m 69 and haven’t cared how I look for years. White hair, thin and fluffy after chemo, twisted up with a claw clip, or a pony tail if I wear a hat to walk the dogs. I use serum and moisturiser because it feels nice. I use Aveeno creamy oil after a shower because it feels nice. I seldom glance in the mirror.

Then I had my toenails done recently for my DD’s wedding (reconstructed big toenails, shape and polish all of them), and had a BIAB gel manicure on my fingernails. I felt fantastic! I have booked appointments to have both lots of nails done again, for the summer, my budget can’t stretch to an ongoing commitment l, but it really is very many years since I’ve thought, oh this LOOKS good!

I’ve bought a new claw clip too!

windmill1 Sun 29-Jun-25 19:36:05

Walk along any street and you will pass plenty of men who have let themselves go alright.......because it's a trademark (ha!) of masculinity.

Aveline Sun 29-Jun-25 19:27:29

I have no problem with service or attention when I'm out. I often look like a tattybogle but people still pay attention. It ain't necessarily about how you present yourself in clothes that can speak volumes for one.

hollysteers Sun 29-Jun-25 18:53:26

I’m Jekyll & Hyde, two different people. At home, just comfortable, but really enjoy dressing up when I go out. I find it therapeutic, even taking time with my makeup. In fact, I find I get better service and attention when I’m dressed up to when I walk out ‘as I am’. I like to think other people enjoy seeing someone looking the very best they can. I certainly enjoy seeing people looking good.

It’s not true “nobody will be looking at you”. I am!
This reminds me of one of the Mitford sisters. They had grown up with their nanny saying “nobody will be looking at you” to help with shyness.
On her wedding day, Diana Mitford went to see nanny in her wedding dress, guess what she said!

merlotgran Sun 29-Jun-25 18:22:49

Being a Gemini I have a foot in both camps. Most days I wear tinted moisturiser and under eyeliner, jeans and whatever top is appropriate.
I do love the rare occasions when there’s an excuse to make the effort to ‘scrub up nicely’ though.