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Anxiety for GC

(19 Posts)
hardy0925 Mon 30-Jun-25 23:46:17

My grandson is just 3 months old. I watch him once a week and it seems he is fine in the morning, but gets very fussy after noon. He is breast fed and his mom was with him the whole 3 months off. But when he starts crying and I am trying everything to soothe him or comfort him and nothing is working. So, I feel like a failure because the other grandma seems to do ok. She watches him on the other day. He likes to bounce and, I walk around with him. But then my back starts hurting. I am so anxious.

V3ra Tue 01-Jul-25 06:43:19

Have you tried putting him in his pram/stroller and taking him out for a walk in the fresh air?
That might distract him and would be easier on your back!

Have you talked to his other grandma to actually know that she seems to do ok?
Babies do cry, for all sorts of reasons. It's not always your fault so you're not a failure, try not to feel anxious xx

escaped Tue 01-Jul-25 06:52:27

There's a time when mental stresses cause physical ailments and vice versa. Do you think that might be your case OP?
I'd try relaxation exercises, or maybe yoga. You dont need to bounce him all the time, try tickles and singing. You're not a failure. The little baby loves you, and you him. Enjoy the precious time.

Allsorts Tue 01-Jul-25 06:55:58

You are not a failure, don't bounce if it hurts your back, Stop being anxious just enjoy being with him, it will get better.

NotSpaghetti Tue 01-Jul-25 06:57:22

If she has been breastfeeding he has presumably been nursing a lot. I think he wants his mum and to suckle more. Maybe you could borrow something she has worn, like a t-shirt so that she smells closer. Do you have plenty of breast milk for him?
After all 3 months is very young to be away from his number one person.

What makes you think the other grandmother doesn't have the same problem?

BlueBelle Tue 01-Jul-25 07:03:00

How do you know the other grand mother has no problems ?

Put him in his pram sit down snd just push the pram back and forth …or invest in one of those baby seats the takes batteries and gently rocks and plays music I think at 3 months they re are old enough for them and they are not big money We often get them in the charity shop, not that I m suggesting you get one from a charity shop just saying they are popular and the baby usually drifts off to sleep in them
Have you got plenty of toys for him to play with to take his mind off whatever is troubling him
Babies often have fussy times don’t let it worry you you aren’t failing just haven’t found the right distraction yet

BlueBelle Tue 01-Jul-25 07:06:00

Coh just to add babies do pick up on anxiety Your worries could be making him anxious and maybe the other gran is more laid back…….. Just a thought

keepingquiet Tue 01-Jul-25 08:04:50

Just enjoy the baby- he won't be three months old for long.

Coconutty Tue 01-Jul-25 08:20:02

Try not to worry. Just spending time together is building a lovely bond. Don’t compare to the other granny either, it’s not a competition and I’m sure you’re doing just fine.

Lathyrus3 Tue 01-Jul-25 09:34:56

Babies fuss. It’s what they do sometimes.

I’m sure he fusses with his other granny. The difference is she just accepts it as natural and doesn’t let it bother her and you feel it shouldn’t be happening and it’s your fault.

So she says we had a lovely time, no trouble at all and you think you are somehow getting it wrong,

But the baby is exactly the same with both of you probably.

GoldenAge Wed 02-Jul-25 14:20:28

hardy095 - if your grandson is 3 months old and his mum was with him for his entire first 3 months, how long have you been looking after him? I imagine you've only done this once or twice so no need to feel a failure on that basis. See how the pattern emerges, and find out how successful his other grandma really is. Maybe he behaves the same with her but you and she just interpret what's happening differently. Anyway the thing is he's 12 weeks old and has had access to his mother's breast continually. He suddenly finds that two days a week he is denied this and when he remembers (lunchtime) he becomes upset - normal.

AuntieE Wed 02-Jul-25 14:31:23

At that age my godson was perfectly happy in my home until after he woke from his afternoon nap. Then it hit him, that Mummy was still not there and his world crashed.

She and I worked out that he took his nap later when he was with me, so when he woke and refused to be comforted, I quickly changed his nappy, put him back in the pram and took him home.

If the other grandmother is his maternal grandma that might be why he is not so fussy with her - she probably smells similar to his mummy to him.

Or is she just polishing her halo at your expense?

Once home he was happy for the last half-hour before his Mummy came in.

Could you do something similar.

Flutterby345 Wed 02-Jul-25 14:48:29

BlueBelle

Coh just to add babies do pick up on anxiety Your worries could be making him anxious and maybe the other gran is more laid back…….. Just a thought

I was thinking the same. They do sometimes pick up on anxiety.

Flutterby345 Wed 02-Jul-25 14:53:31

One thing someone showed me as a 1st time mum.was to.lie the baby face down with the tum over a little pillow. The pressure on the stomach is comforting . Probably very out of date advice these days but it worked a lot for me.

Vintagegirl Wed 02-Jul-25 15:12:39

Yes Flutterfly 'tummytime' is something new to me but baby gets regular session from young age. Our grchild is now nearly 6 mths and getting heavy but plumper and easier to hold. She is still small enough to put on sofa with cushions either side sitting up. We also have a lightweight buggy and have used that in the house from an early age again with a couple of sausage type cushions on either side when smaller. She likes to be wheeled around the kichen table and be nearer 'the action' if I am at work there. Sometimes it is enough to take her out into garden and show off the flowers to settle her. She likes to get out of babygro's and kick her legs so that is another session on a sheepskin on floor.

A full day is a long stint! Our one has to be dispatched back to mum as still feeding her and wont take to a bottle alas.

FranP Wed 02-Jul-25 15:55:54

You are doing a great job, and many babies are just afternoon fussy.

Is he just missing his afternoon nap/feed routine? So he will settle down

What is he having for lunch? - is his tum up to whatever you are feeding him? Does he need so much - perhaps other grandma is not giving him as much?

Is he used to suckling on waking, so perhaps some water, if mum is not expressing?

Le30 Wed 02-Jul-25 17:46:41

Hoover tumble dryer hairdryer, white noise. Really helped with my grandson.

NannyC1 Thu 03-Jul-25 20:30:33

Water isn't recommended for babies under 6 months.

mumofmadboys Fri 04-Jul-25 07:13:23

Tap water isn't recommended for babies under six months. Cooled boiled water is fine.