Bully from school

I read your OP very carefully and I was not comparing your experiences with mine. Sorry to have caused you to be so very offended by my post you are obviously still extremely embittered by your experience.

Oh dear magneta8 I cannot comprehend how you can compare my experiences to yours so please do not do so. My life was destroyed by this individual if anyone has not realised my request it is just that they acknowledge their actions, please read and read again before they reply

I was bullied at school.But recently started chatting to someone from school on Facebook that I remembered with great fondness. Not only did we have nothing in common but some of her other friends were horrible to me ( it was political stuff and she and they were quite racist) so I had to break contact with her. So all I can say is (even though one of my biggest faults is that I bear grudges forever…) that people change over time and it’s best to take them as you find them now. I just hope that seeing her doesn’t bring back those awful memories too much; being bullied at a young age does shape you as a person unfortunately.

I always used to tell my children that if you were nice you always won.
Be really sweet, let her know how happy you are with your lot.
Then ignore her and talk to people you really like.

I am with kittylester on this, ignore her.

I would advise against confronting her. She is not the same person as she was 45 years ago and neither are you.

Before you reply that I don't understand the extent of the lasting damage that she did to you, believe me I do having experienced sustained bullying myself over a long period.

I know it is very hard to let go of deeply felt resentment but I have tried very hard, since the age of about 30, to put childhood traumas behind me and let go (I haven't always succeeded).

I really think you should even consider not going to the social occasion to protect yourself from being triggered particularly if you insist on a confrontation.

The chances are that she will deny all memory of having bullied you and she may even say she can't remember who you are. You will end up looking and feeling a fool and you run the risk of spoiling the occasion for other people.

I would ignore her - she is beneath your notice.

I met someone who had bullied me at school but I rose above acknowledging her- knowing that I am happy and she probably isn't.

Please tell me this isn’t somebody’s special occasion……….

Perfect response, thank you so much
So helpful to have a constructive response and not to facilitate the bullies actions which were appallingly and as an adult and parent beyond comprehension

Then confront her……perfect opportunity approaching.

Word it something like this…….
You………good morning/afternoon, how are you?
Bully…….good morning/afternoon, I’m fine thanks, how are you?
You………I’m doing fine……..now! But would like to point out that you bullied me relentlessly for X years way back in ***. Your behaviour was vile, destructive and completely unwarranted! So, jog on, get out of my sight you nasty pathetic excuse for a human being, Alternative, cut it short and tell her to “Foxtrot Oscar”!