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Child free and smug

(135 Posts)
TwiceAsNice Fri 11-Jul-25 17:42:18

It’s good women have the choice now. However I am the opposite of them I knew when I was very young I wanted children of my own and they and my grandchildren are my greatest achievement and joy. I was a nursery nurse as a first career. I do think though you should not love your life through your children or have unrealistic expectations of them. Both generations need their own lives

ViceVersa Fri 11-Jul-25 17:40:53

I don't think there's anything whatsoever wrong with not wanting children - as long as it is your choice. My daughter has always been adamant that she didn't want children - she loves her niece and nephew and has worked with children with special needs - but she just doesn't want her own, and neither does her husband. They're far from smug about it though - that's just their choice.
And there's nothing wrong with people having dogs or cats or whatever instead. Our dogs have always been as much a part of the family as any other.
I've never been much of a 'child' person anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love my children and grandchildren, but I've never cooed over babies. The first baby I ever held was my own.

pably15 Fri 11-Jul-25 17:40:52

It's their choice, but like DollyD I couldn't imagine not having my children and grandchildren, I love them to bits, they are a blessing

Magenta8 Fri 11-Jul-25 17:40:41

I have friends who had three children in quick succession shortly after they married. I delayed having children for financial reasons and they used to tease me and say that my two cats wouldn't look after me when I was old.

Their children all grown up now and one lives in Japan, one in Australia and the youngest lives in China. Mine all live in the same county as I do.

It just shows that having children does not necessarily ensure that they will be there to care for you in old age.

Lathyrus3 Fri 11-Jul-25 17:40:06

I agree with magenta. and with*galaxy*.

People who are happy with their lives don’t need public declarations of how happy they are.

And people who are happy with their choices don’t feel the need to sneer at others who have made different choices and say how sorry they are for them that they don’t have their. life.

Neither attitude is pleasant or to be commended.

DollyD Fri 11-Jul-25 17:33:59

Good for them, if that’s what they want but I can’t think of anything worse than not having my lovely children and grandchildren.

Aveline Fri 11-Jul-25 17:29:54

Don't worry. It'll be your turn to be smug when we're all old and need our families around us. I've felt very sorry for childless friends before now.

Galaxy Fri 11-Jul-25 17:28:54

I am deeply wary of people who speak about how wonderful their lives and choices are.

Magenta8 Fri 11-Jul-25 17:27:10

People have many and varied reasons for not wanting children and I don't think it right to sit in judgement of them. It is just as smug and wrong as child free people looking down on "breeders".

We are not all made the same, thank goodness, and we don't all want the same things out of life.

hollysteers Fri 11-Jul-25 17:11:04

There are two or three married/with partners female journalists on Instagram who extol the joys of their chosen child free lifestyle and appear disdainful of ‘breeders’.
Of course we can now choose, but they say they knew from say the age of seven they would never have children, are not missing out and don’t regret it.
How do they know?
I had no idea what joy having children would bring me, it wasn’t particularly planned or longed for.
Interestingly, two of them now have dogs and are besotted with them, which shows they do have reserves of love they might have found for children.
How can they be so sure?