Driving at 90

The main thing about keeping driving safely is that you must keep driving.

Just before COVID an idiot drove into the side of the car I had had for 13 years and it was deemed too old to be worth repairing. So just before COVID I got another car, much younger and full of bells and whistle I was unfamiiar with. During COVID my driving was very limited and with lack of faamiliarity with my car, I lost a lot of confidence and was very conscious my driving was deteriorating.

DH's response was to point out that over the next month we were going to make quite a number of quite long journeys and said that all these journeys would be done by me driving my car. It worked a treat, over that month I drove over 2,000 miles and by the end of it I felt comfortable and confident in the car and I had mastered all its subtleties that had previously eluded me. DH said that over the month both my car control had improved and my roadcraft.

Now I am making sure that, like last Sunday, I undertake long journies at night and during the day.

I am with those who say that if you restrict driving to places near home, where you no the route, then you should not be driving. That was what I did during COVID and it seriously compromised my driving. My driving only got back to a good standard when I drove all kinds of roads in all kinds of conditions.

I can still drive but I only go to places with which I'm familiar. It really worries me if I have to go out of my comfort zone but thankfully that is rare. I'd be happy going out in a bus instead if only they were reliable

If an optician has said he should not be driving, he should not drive.

The point is how does he accept the situation and find ways to be able to still travel when he wants to, rather than feel stuck at home etc. I would suggest allowing a couple of weeks for that initial getting used to things then into action.

So it would be a good idea to see it as a logistics problem and go through the various situations.
Get the latest up to date bus and train timetables and ask around for friends recommendations for a taxi firm that he could become familiar with.

Look at present hobbies and meetings that he attends, deciding which are the most important to him. Then, if he plays golf or goes swimming with friends , perhaps he could arrange for them to pick him up. He needs to pay half the fuel and also be on time, when they come to pick him up. That way it is likely to become a regular thing, in a way that is fair and suits every one. Perhaps there is a more local club that he could walk to and change to that one?

Then he could enjoy some research into things like pub meals at lunchtime. If he finds a bus route that will take him to somewhere good, that will give him another independant way of going out etc. Of course he will then be able to have a drink with his lunch as he is not driving!! Then he could perhaps look around among friends to see if there are 2 or 3 more people who are no longer driving and they could share the cost of a taxi to the local town or market on a regular basis?

Dont forget there are some pluses about this. If he goes by bus, then if he finds the meeting boring, he has the great legitimate excuse that he needs to leave early to catch his bus. Something planned he isnt interested in? Then he can say sorry he cant get there with the buses etc etc. Of course he should be getting great use from his free bus pass, and on a nice day could just catch a bus as the whim takes him, visit the busiest of towns without thinking about the parking etc etc. These are only ideas and I am sure once he gets going he will have lots of ideas of his own. He might enjoy having a little notebook and keeping a tally of miles he has travelled free gratis and for nothing! Always adds to the pleasure

If someone feels they should limit driving to local trips only, then for me it is a sign that they should stop. A child, a horse, a cyclist, etc, can get in the way anywhere, including round the corner from your house, and require excellent reflexes, any day

Totally agree. Most accidents happen within 2 miles of your home. Either you are fully confident and competent to drive or you are not - a ‘familiar’ short distance can have as many unexpected hazards as an unfamiliar long distance.

Claremont

Marjgran

Jeanied “big brother”?!?!
He has been told his eyesight is too poor. Goodness gracious me…
Accident stats show a peak of accidents in early driving years then again in the over 80s. I hope his distress eases but it has nothing to do with “big brother”.

We are 74 and 79 -and totally fit to drive.For very long distances, we share the driving. It is not about age, as such, but about fitness, reflexes, awareness and good eyesight.

If someone feels they should limit driving to local trips only, then for me it is a sign that they should stop. A child, a horse, a cyclist, etc, can get in the way anywere, including round the corner from your house, and require excellent reflexes, any day.

A friend's mum always insisted she was totally safe to drive s long as in immediate surroundings. One young father is now paraplegic, as she pulled out into main road from her lane without looking or seeing.

Oh dear! That poor young man.

That irresponsible woman has impacted (badly) on so many peoples lives there:
- the man she injured
- that mans family and going way down the decades to if/when he gets to be a paraplegic grandfather (rather than a healthy grandfather)
- your friend (who, at the least, will be thoroughly ashamed of her mother....maybe even cut her out of her life)
- our NHS - because it has had to use resources on that poor man (understandably) - because he needed it thanks to her

Just because she was unrealistic with herself about her driving abilities.

Marjgran

Jeanied “big brother”?!?!
He has been told his eyesight is too poor. Goodness gracious me…
Accident stats show a peak of accidents in early driving years then again in the over 80s. I hope his distress eases but it has nothing to do with “big brother”.

We are 74 and 79 -and totally fit to drive.For very long distances, we share the driving. It is not about age, as such, but about fitness, reflexes, awareness and good eyesight.

If someone feels they should limit driving to local trips only, then for me it is a sign that they should stop. A child, a horse, a cyclist, etc, can get in the way anywere, including round the corner from your house, and require excellent reflexes, any day.

A friend's mum always insisted she was totally safe to drive s long as in immediate surroundings. One young father is now paraplegic, as she pulled out into main road from her lane without looking or seeing.

"Some people can drive safely at 100, others should be taken off the road at 70. Age has nothing to do with it. Sight and cognition is key."

This is absolutely right. My 80 year old husband is an excellent driver still. Only about three years ago he avoided what could have been a terrible accident when a lorry joined the motorway dangerously , nearly knocking us out of our lane. The huge wheel left a mark on the side of our car. My husband , with Lewis Hamilton-like reflexes moved us into the adjoining lane where luckily there was space. Happened in a flash so no time for me to be afraid. Sliding Doors. it could have been so different.
He has been driving for 63 years and has a clean licence apart from the odd speeding offence.
What a contrast with the various careless and sometimes aggressive drivers who have nearly knocked me off my bicycle. Mostly youngsters. Of course.

annodomini

In my most recent eye test the optometrist didn't ask if I was still driving (at 84). My eyesight showed no deterioration since the last test a year ago, and I have never been told I shouldn't be driving. So, until the time comes when I am shown to be unfit for it, I continue to drive for short trips to local shops, library and garden centre. I would find longer drives too tiring (and therefore unsafe) nowadays. My family will let me know in no uncertain terms when it is time to hand in my licence.

Would they - all? ie family letting you know.

I had that problem with my father years back now. He'd always been a good driver and I'd never noticed him doing anything wrong in his driving...it was spot-on.

Until the day when my parents were there in the car and I was having a lift in the back seat and he veered and went to drive across into the lane coming towards us - and it was my city centre!!!

That did it from my point of view and I pointblank refused to have a lift with him ever again. My mother knew me well enough to know I would report him as no longer fit to drive - even though he was my own father (in fact especially because he was my own father) and promptly forbade me to do so "or else". I was in a difficult situation for some time - because she'd never learnt to drive and they lived about 2 miles from their town centre and with no facilities within easy walking distance of them - other than a small garden centre (which at least had a cafe thankfully). She would not listen to logic - of me pointing out how much money they'd save by no longer running a car and how readily she could book a taxi from a local taxi firm to get anywhere. They weren't out in the wilds - they could have got to pretty much everywhere they particularly needed to go within a 2 mile radius and so it wouldnt have cost that much.

In my most recent eye test the optometrist didn't ask if I was still driving (at 84). My eyesight showed no deterioration since the last test a year ago, and I have never been told I shouldn't be driving. So, until the time comes when I am shown to be unfit for it, I continue to drive for short trips to local shops, library and garden centre. I would find longer drives too tiring (and therefore unsafe) nowadays. My family will let me know in no uncertain terms when it is time to hand in my licence.

My dad has just turned 90 and following a diagnosis of early stages of dementia, the GP told him he shouldn’t be driving anymore. We were all immensely relieved as he’d had several minor bumps and scrapes and he just wouldn’t accept he needed to stop driving.

He keeps on telling us he misses the car (we sold it, as we didn’t have 100% confidence that he’d not use it!?) and we organised several exploratory bus trips in the local area. He lives in fairly rural part of Kent but he’s enjoyed these ‘adventures’ and is confident now about doing them on his own.

He’s already used to his new ‘normal’, we’re happy that he’s not a danger to himself or anyone else, and we keep reminding him ding him how much money he’s saving by not owning a car.

I’m sure your husband will get accustomed to the situation in time - reassure him that he is not alone! Take care 😘

Kate1949

I'm sure you're an excellent driver Monica. My own husband is 80 next year and I feel very safe with him driving me, unlike some younger members of our family.

No, I am not an excellent driver, but I am a 'good enough' driver, who despite being over 80 can still drive long distances and safely, including at night.

I would not have wanted to do this journey at night if it had been on ordinary roads I was unfamiar with. But we planned everything in advance and the route is one I am very familiar with.

However we have just downsized aand moved into a house close to a town centre in a town we chose carefully because everything we can want, doctors, dentist, opticians, supermarkets etc etc are all in the town centre within a couple of hundred yards of the house.

We have done this in case in the future we reach a stage where we cannot drive. Advance planning and covering all possibilties, seems to be the best approach to getting older.

Channel 5 documentary, "Cause of Death – Licence to Kill.
Essential viewing for anybody who thinks they should drive after being told their eyesight is not good enough to. Regular eyesight tests should be compulsory for all drivers of all ages and opticians should be compelled to inform the DVLA if people are unsafe to drive.
If you can afford a car/insurance/fuel/repairs - you can afford taxis and public transport. Don’t put people’s lives at risk.

Kate1949

*Monica*. My DH has read through these new rules in-depth. He said they are a fair bit different but he did concede that he could be reading it wrong.

I can't really see any great differences. All I can see is that people who might have "red flags" could be required to take a further assessment.

I'm 70 and, of course, I think my driving is perfect (well, I would, wouldn't I? ). I've had a licence since I was 17 years 4 months, so driving has always been part of my adult life. I'm hoping to buy a new car in about two years (I've been saving up for years) and I'm fully aware it will probably be my last car. Even now, I'm thinking to the future and am trying to get my head round using the money I pay for for a car for taxis. I have no idea what I'll be like when I'm 80, but the last thing I want is to feel that I lack confidence in driving - I'd far rather limit what I do and rely on public transport/taxis.

I'm sure you're an excellent driver Monica. My own husband is 80 next year and I feel very safe with him driving me, unlike some younger members of our family.

Monica. My DH has read through these new rules in-depth. He said they are a fair bit different but he did concede that he could be reading it wrong.

Kate1949

Older people may feel confident about their driving, that doesn't necessarily make them good drivers in other people's eyes.

The Institute of Advanced Drivers offers assessment sessions for older drivers.

More importantly I have a DD who is always highly critical and always draws my attention to my deficiencies..

Last Sunday she sat beside me in the front of the car, when we came offer a ferry at 10.00pm and I then drove 150 miles home. I chose a motorway and dual carriage way route and beyond once reminding me to dip my lights. That was it. We got home with out her once feeling stressed or worried about my driving. If she had had any concerns, she would assuredly have told me.

We are currently sofa surfing with her, between houses. Every day, my perceived failure to empty bins, keep things tidy, put things back where they ought to be comes under constant scrutiny and criticism. I have every confidence that with her life in my hands if she had any doubts about my driving, she would let me know.

Jaxjacky

Kate1949

From July 2025.

Kate1949 where does it say these changes are law from this month please?

I cannot see how they differ from the current rules.

Jacky

Kate1949

From July 2025.

Kate1949 where does it say these changes are law from this month please?

I was 80 last week and still driving regularly. I passed my test in London when I was about 20. and three weeks later drove to Yugoslavia , when you needed a visa to go there. Having driven for many years , the whole point to me is not age in itself. My husband and I chose to take both a simulator test and an actual drive round with an advanced driver instructor when I was about 72 . I had a clean bill of health and was told my reactions were extremely quick. I enjoy driving , and travelling as and when I choose, and spent over 10 years when retired doing 3 days a week as a volunteer for the hospital car service. For that you needed a clean driving licence. CB etc, and I was mostly going into very rural areas and the usual distance would be over an hours driving to the hospital. Then I trained and drove the community bus up Swaledale. So I have over the years obviously seen many different examples of driving, and a great deal of the more dangerous behaviour came from teenagers and 20s egging each other on to do stupid things, and these days you have no way of knowing how much and what drugs have been taken. So lets have a level playing field and make sure that all drivers are responsible and safe on the roads. . I will no doubt miss driving when the time comes, but will stop the minute that my eyesight or anything else means that I am not capable of continuing to drive.

Coping with that loss of driving does take some getting used to , but also some research and checking up on things is worth the effort. I have taken 3 people to the seaside, who could no longer drive. We shared the cost of the fuel, I dropped them at 10am and we met at 3.30pm and we each did what we wanted to do. Another time we did the same but about 2pm there was a storm, so we rang each other and agreed to go back early. So this may be an idea that your husband might look into. If he has friends that say , he plays golf with , then an offer to share the petrol on journeys could work, but I think if you are being taken then it is important that you meet up when you have said and are prompt. That way it is all advantage for you both. Another thing ,in this area, is the fact that the buses dont run very late in the evening, so you are able to set off on your journey for dinner or whatever but the problem is the return and taxis can be very expensive and hard to find . So you might either have friends that again could take y ou there and you share the cost, or if it is for your benefit you pay the whole cost of them taking you, returning home and then coming out for you again when you are ready. Or you may swap skills. If your husband is a great gardener, he might swap a session in the allotment or garden for a driver for some occasion. Then he might also begin by looking at a local map and seeing where the towns or places he likes are, checking up on their bus timetables and train times and working out what service would provide him with the best help. Even local advertising in a cafe or local supermarket for particular things. So well in advance ask, Anyone going to the Rugby who would be happy to give me a lift in return for fuel money? He can develop a little web of possibilities. Meanwhile he can begin to have a drink with his lunch in the pub as he is no longer driving, doesnt need to walk miles from the car park, can make the excuse that he needs to catch his bus, if he is not enjoying a party etc. Once he starts to look around there are some good things. Even though the bus may be slower to travel to the next time , it will usually drop you right in the centre and you are straight into the shops and do not need to come 45 minutes early to park!! By now he may be a little more used to the idea, but of course he should have his bus pass, and can swan all over the place with that.May he enjoy his new life and be glad that although he misses driving, he has been a good and responsible driver and does not have to live with the dreadful thought that he has caused someone serious injury or even death. Good luck in the new way and you might even eventually have a little competition to see how far you might go or work out a great way of finding a nice b /b or small hotel, where you are able to get there by train or bus and have an enjoyable few days perhaps at the seaside, with no worries at all about parking and get the taxi to take you to the station on the way back. Such bliss as you watch the scenery as you go and are not the least big worried about parking anywhere!!
Gillian

Older people may feel confident about their driving, that doesn't necessarily make them good drivers in other people's eyes.

Monica no I wouldn’t want a surgeon in his 80s operating on me or a pilot, I m that age myself and I know my reactions and even thought patterns and memory and eyes are not that of a 40/50/60 year old
Be real monica how many 89 years olds do you know can run a marathon there is always going to be one person who astounds everyone and no I m not ageist at all but I am a realist

I am pretty fit for my age swimming, walking, allotment and can do heavy stuff some young people balk at, but I know there is a limit and because driving a car , unlike running a marathon could impinge on many other peoples lives it should have stricter rulings and limits

I have always said that I believe renewing our licenses over 75 should be dependent on a provision of evidence of a recent eye test and an assessing cognitive test, which could lead to some people being called back to take a longer test.

I still don’t think the proposed changes are strict enough. In my opinion, it would be totally reasonable to require every driver over a certain age, maybe 75? to provide evidence that their eyesight is ok at the very least. I want opticians to be obliged to inform the DVLA when a patient’s eyesight is not adequate.

But I don’t think eyesight checks are enough.
If DH had lived longer I know he would have been so reluctant to give up driving. He was impatient to get back in the car as he began to recover from his heart attack but sadly died before his restriction was lifted. I think his judgement was impaired and his reactions too slow, although his eyesight was ok.