Discrimination against older women

Ladyleftfieldlover

Thank you AuntieE. I am 72 and don’t feel at all left out by the way life is changing in all sorts of ways. As you point out, things change! Where on earth would we be if they didn’t?

Just saying - in my WI there are 50 ladies ranging from 40s to 99. There is just one lady - in her 70s - who flatly refuses to engage with technology. The 99 year old is perfectly competent with IT and happily sends out emails.

So it could be attitude not age.

I have a friend (84) who will not have anything to do with technology. Not short of braincells (she was a teacher), she just won’t change her mind. She used to make little digs at me because I love my iPad and laptop.
The funny thing is, she frequently asks me to look things up for her!

Allira

Good heavens!

Please could your surgery have a chat with our Practice Manager?

We have a very similar system at our surgery. It's called Accurx. It is amazing.

I bank online, order goods online, participate in online discussions, have consulted my GP surgery online but it isn't all manna from heaven. Too often online interaction is limited by drop down boxes that don't cover what I want to address. When it's Amazon I know how to get past the Bot and text with a real person, but a recent parking app site totally defeated me. There was no way to email, no telephone number to ring to speak to a real person, so the two identical charges for the one car parked in the one place for the same duration just had to be swallowed. Not the end of the world but frustrating and annoying, and wrong!
I do agree Doodledog about 'bless' and 'sweetheart' type comments. I'm happy for them to use my first name, especially when they introduce themselves in that way, but I don't want to be spoken to in a syrupy sweet 'little old lady' fashion. All except for one smashing HCA who calls everyone from the doctors to the postman and all in between 'my lovely'

My hairdresser blesses me all the time and calls me 'darling'
I have a name, dear, please use it and then I'll call you by yours!

Even a young GP said "Ah, bless" when I was telling her about my symptoms.

The vicar can bless me if he likes 🙂

Exactly my point.*M0nica*. As long as it is written off as an 'old person' thing, people will try to accommodate rather than educate, and real discrimination will get worse, as the idea of all older people being refuseniks who aren't prepared to try anything new will be further cemented.

One thing I really wish would happen is for all NHS staff, in whatever role they occupy, to be trained not to use words like 'bless' and 'sweetheart' to older people. I had bloods taken on Friday and the HCA kept having to try again and 'blessed' me every time. I didn't need or want her blessing - I wanted it to stop! I have a massive bruise, which is going to get worse before it gets better. 'Sorry Mrs Dog' would have been so much better than 'oh, bless you sweetheart'😡

Apologies for wandering off piste!

I think we need to sepeate poblems caused by disability anf difficulties caused by age.

Anyne who is deaf, whether 9 or 90 will have problems with phone calls, but can, of course, use text.

Sometime ago I described the problems I have with mobile phones because I have dyspraxia and ADHD. Anothe GN member posted that her 14 year old GC, with the same problems had the same difficulties using a phone.

Of course older people are more likely to have a disability than someone younger, but the problem is the same regardless of age.

Doodledog

Ours is open when the surgery is open. They triage morning and afternoon, so if your request goes in later it will be the next day before you get a call. They say they will respond within 48 hours (it is not for emergencies) but on the rare times I've used it I got a call straight away.

Our online e consult is available during surgery hours, it’s very efficient. Sent one at at about 10am last Tuesday, triaged by 11 and txt sent with the means to book a convenient physio, which I’ve done for tomorrow.
But, I’ve two friends who are scared to use it/don’t know how and won’t be shown, so the surgery accommodates them, they’ll never learn.

I have to phone in the morning; really I just need a phone consultation. It should be interesting to see if I can get past the receptionist. 🤔

Ours is open when the surgery is open. They triage morning and afternoon, so if your request goes in later it will be the next day before you get a call. They say they will respond within 48 hours (it is not for emergencies) but on the rare times I've used it I got a call straight away.

Doodledog

Allira

Good heavens!

Please could your surgery have a chat with our Practice Manager?

I know! It’s so much better than the last system where you had to ring at 8, along with a million others, and when told there were no appointments do it all again the next day. 8.00 is when a lot of people are on the way to work, and don’t want to discuss their haemorrhoids in front of everyone on the bus or train.

This is so much better, but people still complain that they are being ‘forced’ to use the Internet.

I think another local surgery is using that system but a friend said she tried and tried to get an appointment, the internet slot was open for half an hour from 8.00am to 8.30 and the 'queue' was so long she failed to get an appointment.
After a week she decided to seek a private appointment to try to get a scan.

*thing - not think!

Bill Gates (Microsoft) is 70 this year. The late Steve Jobs (Apple) would also have been 70 this year. Hardly spring chickens.

Alan Sugar introduced the Amstrad home computer around 1984 following hard on the footsteps of the Commodore - around 1982.

iPhones have been round since 2007 and the Blackberry was introduced in the late 90's.

That's 40 years + since affordable home computers came onto the market and 20 years + since the introduction of smart phones or at least phones that had internet capabilities.

That's ample time for people to learn how to use them.

It's one think to be discriminated againt because you can't do something - another thing entirely because you won't.

We have to move with the times however old we get, we need to be prepared to learn new things ask for help and be open

Many older people are so closed and afraid of any changes I worry about new stuff as much as the next person but after you ve done it a few times it becomes familiar

Doodlebug my GP uses that system too and it so easy you can even send a photograph if it’s an external problem I don’t use the doctor much thankfully but when I have, I have had some medication to pick up at local pharmacies a few hours after the email has gone through
You HAVE to move with the times however old you are

My 2nd cousin is learning Spanish online, she will be 100 after Christmas

I'm taken aback by attitudes to older people in general. I had an uneasy experience at a theatre. Went to a concert, very hot evening. Stood in queue to buy a bottle of juice. Young woman serving was very pleasant to the couple in front. My goodness what a shock I got when she came to serve me, took one look and God what a po face she put on. It really was a transformation. I asked politely for a juice, she never even met me with eye contact. I remained polite but she had been so nice to the couple who were younger, in front. I also find we are blamed for all society's ills.

Allira

Good heavens!

Please could your surgery have a chat with our Practice Manager?

I know! It’s so much better than the last system where you had to ring at 8, along with a million others, and when told there were no appointments do it all again the next day. 8.00 is when a lot of people are on the way to work, and don’t want to discuss their haemorrhoids in front of everyone on the bus or train.

This is so much better, but people still complain that they are being ‘forced’ to use the Internet.

Contactless is fine as long as you still always remember your PIN as randomly you are asked to key the number in.
I think most people do move with the times tho Mum in her 80’s has a few friends who neither drive or have a PC or a tablet and only a very basic mobile.

Good heavens!

Please could your surgery have a chat with our Practice Manager?

Allira

^I don't know why it is considered more difficult to book appointments online^

I think the problem is that there are a limited number of appointments available, hanging on to the phone for half an hour because "You are number 12 in the queue" at 8 am and you are feeling ill is not easy. Then to get through and be told all appointments have gone, you can make one for seven weeks' time if you like is not patient-friendly. Nor is trying to get a repeat prescription.

Obviously, someone who is hard of hearing cannot manage a telephone consultation, but his GP would be the first to know and acknowledge this
Really? Not in our experience.

I don't think it's old people who are the problem, it's the inefficient systems which were introduced to improve efficiency but have the opposite effect which are at fault.

My post said I don't know why it is considered more difficult to book appointments online as we get older' and I don't. I agree that some of the systems are awful, but they are as bad for the young as for older people. My point is that I keep seeing and hearing comments about how online engagement is discriminating against older people, and I don't think it is.

I realise that this may not apply to everyone, but my surgery has a system whereby you type your problem into a box and post it. It is then triaged and someone calls you back - almost instantly if urgent - and you get an appointment to be seen or spoken to on the phone, a prescription is sent to a chemist for you, you are asked to come in and give blood samples, or whatever. It is very efficient - more so than having to go in to see a doctor before the process starts.

As I said, the receptionist will fill in the box for those who can't do it, but they go in the same queue as everyone else. I have heard people complain that they weren't given priority - 'why can't she just make me an appointment if she's going to fill in the form?' The triage system ensures that appointments are based on clinical need.

I don't know why it is considered more difficult to book appointments online

I think the problem is that there are a limited number of appointments available, hanging on to the phone for half an hour because "You are number 12 in the queue" at 8 am and you are feeling ill is not easy. Then to get through and be told all appointments have gone, you can make one for seven weeks' time if you like is not patient-friendly. Nor is trying to get a repeat prescription.

Obviously, someone who is hard of hearing cannot manage a telephone consultation, but his GP would be the first to know and acknowledge this
Really? Not in our experience.

I don't think it's old people who are the problem, it's the inefficient systems which were introduced to improve efficiency but have the opposite effect which are at fault.

I get fed up with being walked into when leaving shops, overtaken in queues and ignored at zebra crossings. If one more person says to me "I'm sorry I just didn't see you there" I shall scream. It seems that I keep forgetting to take my invisibility cloak off before I go out.

I am also a little bit tired of being talked down to in the patronising way reserved for little old ladies. I was at an automatic checkout the other day and I was managing perfectly well, as I always do, when this man came up, unasked, to 'help' me and completely mucked up the transaction.

I have yet to witness any old men being treated like this.

I think women generally still get taken less seriously than men by Doctors.

I think it isn't just the technology side, but the health side - and attitudes of Doctors and specialists (speaking from personal experience there!). I have been quite shocked at being dismissed with knee problems (another story). Similarly in my early 50s, my foot pain was dismissed as "the menopause". I actually believed that at first until I saw a podiatrist who wrote to my GP and said I should have an MRI scan. GP said "they won't find anything". Well they did - I had large neuromas in both feet!

"Really? So the hackers were incompetant enough to miss that bit, or they took pity on customers and thought "naw, we'll leave their bank details alone - it wouldn't be right""

Bank details would have been kept on a different system and encrypted.

I think men are much more likely to say they can cope when they can't. They will not admit to having problems.