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Love Languages

(11 Posts)
fancythat Fri 25-Jul-25 14:29:14

They are apparently,

Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts.

I didnt used to know this even existed.

And it has taken me years to realise that DH and I are on completely different pages on this.

Judy54 Fri 25-Jul-25 14:34:02

Which page are you on, is it the words of affirmation, quality time etc or something completely opposite?

Magenta8 Fri 25-Jul-25 14:38:20

It sounds potentially very interesting but I don't have a sufficient grasp of the language to understand what you are on about fancythat please explain further.

Romola Fri 25-Jul-25 14:40:43

Oh, I thought I was about to compare the merits of Duolingo and Babbel.

fancythat Fri 25-Jul-25 14:46:50

Further explanation, as I understand things

People show they love each other, using different ways, shown above.
And people prioritise those ways differently too.

Wasnt particularly going to go into detail about DH and I but here goes!

I go by words.
I will say, I love you, thank you for what you are doing etc etc.

DH prefers physical touch. Cuddles etc.
And if he apologises, he doesnt say sorry. He will do an act of service instead.
Such as a chore or diy, that I have been asking him to do for a while.

Judy54 Fri 25-Jul-25 14:53:53

So between you there are words of affirmation, physical touch and acts of service. Not really sure what the problem is.

fancythat Fri 25-Jul-25 15:18:46

There isnt one.

I am on Chat. For Chatting.

MissChateline Fri 25-Jul-25 15:29:23

I have just finished reading the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman recommended by my therapist. I found it really helpful in understanding why my marriage came to a catastrophic ending. My needs are definitely quality time, acts of service and words of affirmation. Very difficult for my “ love tank” to be filled when my wife decided to move to a Canary Island for months at a time.
I’m now in a wonderful relationship with someone who can give me what I need in my life and who makes me happy and I can do the same for her.
I’m not really one for self help books but I really recommend this book for understanding relationships and what our own and our partner’s needs are.

fancythat Fri 25-Jul-25 15:36:07

Yes. It took me ages to realise quite how different DH and I were on this subject.
Once you know, it makes things easier.

keepingquiet Fri 25-Jul-25 15:54:00

I don't think I have one which is why I finished up on my own.

If I had one it would be this:

Don't treat me like an idiot

Chocolatelovinggran Fri 25-Jul-25 17:42:28

It's an interesting concept, isn't it, about people being at odds with each other and not understanding why.
My late- forties son cannot apologise, but acknowledges his mistakes by actions to make reparation.
I don't have any problem saying " sorry, I messed up", but I am aware of others for whom this is a real problem.