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Thoughts on tipping in restaurants

(98 Posts)
Moii Mon 28-Jul-25 14:57:01

I was eating out on Saturday evening the bill of £56 included a 10% service charge, I'm not keen on this I think it should be optional but I always pay it if it's on there, we handed over £60 in cash and waited and waited for the £4 change and then asked for it as we were wanting to go.. The waiter looked very surprised we actually wanted our change, I didn't think I should have to explain myself but said you've already put 10% service charge on and took my change. I felt quite awkward and not sure I'll go back. The question is was that I being unreasonable wanting the change?

Stella14 Tue 29-Jul-25 17:31:18

Jackiest

Staff should be paid a proper wage and not have to go grovelling from the customers to earn enough to live on. The price on the menu should be the price you pay.

They are in the UK. My Spanish teacher also worked in a restaurant. She was appalled when the subject of tipping came up and we spoke of us tipping waiters. She said that we shouldn’t tip because, due to minimum wage and overtime, restaurant staff earned far more than we get in our pensions. I still feel awkward not tipping though.

cc Tue 29-Jul-25 17:24:58

No, if there’s a service charge I’d definitely expect change. And an extra £4 on your bill was around an extra 8%, this is way over the top.
Most places that we go to have 12.5% added now though.

silverlining48 Tue 29-Jul-25 17:20:48

Expecting a tip for a take away ice cream Leeds? 😧 what a cheek.

keepingquiet Tue 29-Jul-25 17:11:28

Mojack26

Keepinquiet..you can obviously afford it in 'the circles you move in'! Some people can't

You dont know what I can and can't afford. The circles I referred to was just eating out with family and friends but I thought it was easier. I probably eat out for a proper meal about six times a year. We make up the tip together with any change.
I think that between us we could have found the £4. If that makes me wealthy then so be it...

cookiemonster66 Tue 29-Jul-25 17:08:04

what a cheek ASSUMING you did not want your change!!! I would have been angry enough already them automatically taking 10% , we are not in USA were UK! I always tip IF I get good service, I worked in the restaurant business for over a decade and tips make a huge difference, BUT only if you deserve them!

Barbadosbelle Tue 29-Jul-25 16:29:31

.

I guess you don't eat out very often - and obviously never abroad!!
.

SunnySusie Tue 29-Jul-25 16:19:50

I work in a cafe as a volunteer, the regular staff are paid the minimum wage. It is very busy and pressurised. Hot food is taken to customer's tables by a member of staff, but no one ever gets a tip. Personally I dont agree with tipping unless for out-of-the-ordinary good service. Staff should be paid a reasonable wage without being forced to rely on tips. I like the Uber system where the taxi journey is pre-paid and only after the journey does the App ask if you would like to leave a tip. In that instance if the driver has been helpful then I am more than happy to tip for good service and going above and beyond.

Mojack26 Tue 29-Jul-25 16:14:04

Keepinquiet..you can obviously afford it in 'the circles you move in'! Some people can't

leeds22 Tue 29-Jul-25 16:05:39

I bought a take away ice cream at a trendy Italian ice cream parlour in S Kensington 2 weeks ago and was expected to tip. The guy who served me was a dishy Italian, how could I refuse?

DeeAitch56 Tue 29-Jul-25 16:01:16

I tend not to tip, whilst nowhere near destitute, a meal out is saved up for as a treat or celebration. I’ve done bar work in the past (1970’s) and tipping wasn’t a thing then and I don’t think it should be expected now.
No one other than my employer has ever paid me to do my job and I don’t expect to supplement anyone else’s income from my own limited income For those who cite hospitality staff don’t get paid enough, tipping is only perpetuating the problem of employers paying poor wages

icanhandthemback Tue 29-Jul-25 15:39:26

You don't just tip for restaurants in the USA any more. If you go in for an ice-cream to take away, you are expected to tip there too and in many different shops. It has really got out of hand. I am always happy to tip for a member of staff going the extra mile but don't think it should be for just doing their job particularly as some only do the minimum.
A little while ago we were charged a service charge in a Chinese Buffet style restaurant where the service was absolutely lousy and the food was mediocre. My husband asked for the service charge to be removed, pointing out we'd actually had to chase them for our drinks several times and we were told that we'd never be allowed back. Strangely enough, we weren't bothered.

kjmpde Tue 29-Jul-25 15:39:04

Staff in restaurants are now paid the minimum wage. so as they would have been recruited to do a job - why should you have to pay again?
Do you tip a Dr who has saved your life ? do you tip a bank cashier ?
I rarely tip . I did once when I thought the hair dresser should have put her prices up ( but she said it put off long standing customers) .

Crossstitchfan Tue 29-Jul-25 15:38:31

I can sort of understand your thinking, Lesley, but isn’t that rather an extreme reason not to have such a trip? Cutting off your nose to spite your face, maybe?

JdotJ Tue 29-Jul-25 15:31:53

silverlining48

27 years ago in NY we were chased down the road by a waiter where we had just eaten a fairly ordinary burger type meal. He was angry and shouting that the tip we had left wasn’t enough.

Tips were not so commonplace then, certainly not in Europe where none was expected. We were astonished and somewhat taken aback at his rudeness.

Same thing happened to us in NY back in 1984. We left, what we thought a reasonable tip after being served a very average meal and were told 'it wasn't enough'.
We walked out of the diner being called names as we left.

Lesley60 Tue 29-Jul-25 15:31:18

Nansypansy

When you go to the hairdressers and the salon owner does your hair, should they be tipped?

I do but only because I used to tip her when she worked in a salon now she has her own place I don’t like to stop

Lesley60 Tue 29-Jul-25 15:19:11

One of the reasons I will never go to America is their tipping culture, my friend was shouted at when she didn’t leave a tip because of the poor service.

Lesley60 Tue 29-Jul-25 15:14:44

In the past I have asked them to remove the service charge and I have then tipped the waiter personally as he was the one who deserved it not the owner.

mokryna Tue 29-Jul-25 15:11:01

I was in Cuba, with a Canadian couple many years ago, we were told no tipping. However, at the breakfast buffet where the fried eggs were being cooked, I noticed that the visiting Americans and Canadians were all tipping the cook when he served up their order.
The Cubains who had contact with these foreigners where well off considering the ones gardening in the hotel grounds.

Grammaretto Tue 29-Jul-25 15:06:58

When my DD was waitressing and often doing weddings and functions, the management took all the tips to, in theory, share them out fairly with the cooks and kitchen staff.

Often as not none of the staff saw a thing.
DD, being feisty and brave, confronted management wanting to know what had become of the tips.
"We didn't make enough sales this week so needed the tips to make it up."

All that happened was DD got fewer and fewer shifts she was on zero hours until she left and found another job.

In NZ, where I was last year, there is no tradition of tipping. Everyone is equal and should be paid properly.
But with paying by card now the norm comes the automatic 10%service charge so it's coming in by a side door.......

I agree with those who want to reward good or excellent service and not poor or nonexistent service.

JennyCee Tue 29-Jul-25 15:03:29

Sorry, quite correct in asking not is asking.

JennyCee Tue 29-Jul-25 15:02:53

I’m with you Moii. Not everyone has the cash to pelt waiters etc with tips, esp when it’s already been deducted. I receive a Basic Pension and Pension credit and I have to save up for a treat of a meal out as I’m sure you do. You were quite correct is asking for the change, but I have an idea that we can refuse to pay the 10percent if we don't believe it’s going to the staff

Knittypamela Tue 29-Jul-25 14:53:24

When we were in Central Park NY we asked about the cost of a horse-drawn carriage trip. They gave us the price then said "plus the tip ". They're so blatant.

EEJit Tue 29-Jul-25 14:52:15

I wouldn't have bothered for the sake of 4 quid

Angelafeet Tue 29-Jul-25 14:40:57

Even without the 10% service charge I would expect my çhange.. I do not tip except in exceptional situations

Nansypansy Tue 29-Jul-25 13:52:10

When you go to the hairdressers and the salon owner does your hair, should they be tipped?