Sons

I hate that saying. It has not been my experience but anyway I think it's more of a personality thing than a son thing. Some daughters can be very thoughtless too

When someone posts to say they don't get visits etc I don't think it is appropriate to say I get visits etc. I think that is rubbing salt into the wound. Slimswim I think triciaqanem saying is usually correct .

jakuss how awful for you. I'm so sorry. Do you contact him? Is he waiting for you to get in touch? Either way it's very sad.

A sons a son till he has a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of your life. Never a more truer saying.

yes, mine havnt spoken to me in years since they no longer needed a babysitter, they used to call every sunday on spec when kids were small often at tea time, many is the time i had an egg to give them my steak, my hubby died 2 years ago, i am 77, and i havnt seen them since the funeral, my heart bleds, but thats the way it is, his wifes mother practically lives with them

I've got 3 sons, one living close to me, I actually relocated to be near him as he'd never had any childcare support from me while my other son's & daughter had. He's an excellent support to me, as I try to be to him. Although his youngest child is now 13 I still babysit for her & cook her tea once a week. I deliberately try to minimise my requests for help from him as I know my needs will increase in years to come. He said he worries that I don't ask for more help, which was lovely. We WhatsApp quite a bit about things he can give me quick advice about or him asking me for something. I feel lucky and sometimes wonder how childless baby boomers cope.

Ahhhhhh …. ‘babysitting’ - I missed that part .

Got it - thanks 👍

Mother of three sons I accept I take a back seat to the wives mothers. Just the way it goes cant change it.

crazyH

This grown-up son, is he married ? If he’s a bachelor, I’m sure, he has more interesting. things to do with his time..
I don’t think the son has a family - the OP means, he has his family/parents nearby and he doesn’t bother to visit them ( ie OP) - that’s what I understood.
I could be wrong …

" Babysitting" is your big clue.

Yes, the grown up son has a family, but only gets in touch when he wants something, i.e. babysitting.

Also enjoys going to his parents house for meals, never contributes food or wine, but doesn’t invite them back to his house for a meal.

The OP was quite clear to me.

crazyH The OP does mention babysitting so maybe not a bachelor and more likely married.

This grown-up son, is he married ? If he’s a bachelor, I’m sure, he has more interesting. things to do with his time..
I don’t think the son has a family - the OP means, he has his family/parents nearby and he doesn’t bother to visit them ( ie OP) - that’s what I understood.
I could be wrong …

5 years ago we moved long distance and are now 6 miles from one of our sons. He often drops in on the way home from work; invites us over for meals, they come here for meals. He helps us and we do the same for him. We see the GC teens changing almost weekly.

To have this ringside seat watching our little boy as a mature man skillfully juggling teenagers, partner, friends and aging parents , home, career , life is quite something. An unexpected delight of old age.

Next time you invite them for a meal, ask them to bring a bottle of wine, or ask them to bring something for pudding, whatever you prefer.
Make it more of a joint effort.

No point you seething in silence just because they're thoughtless!

Hi Slimswim many posts on here about entitled adult children. Think I would be suggesting a change of venue for some meals, I would find it tiring to be the host all the time. Same with baby sitting duties, it is ok to say no sometimes.

Hello Slimswim. I think you must be new to GN as there are plenty of examples in the following forums: 'Relationships', Grand parenting, AIBU, Ask A Gran, Estrangement and the Chat forum where you've started this thread.

You're certainly not alone with this one and welcome to GN .