When do you cease to be 'new around here'

M0nica, I think you're someone who is used to being pretty much in control of what you do and what goes on around you. And I think you're feeling somewhat adrift.
Give yourself a break! You don't have to be competent at everything straight away.
What are your neighbours like? They must be a source of local knowledge, your tradespeople doing the work on your house.

One way you cease to be "new around here" is when you start telling someone newer how something works.

Give yourself a chance. What would you say to someone who had only been in your previous area for 3 weeks. Sure yoj wouldn't expect them to know all that's going on. Oh, I've been with medical practice for 16 years and still don't know how it works!

Moving here 6 years ago 100+ miles for where I used to live moved to the north west. I had a home again my old house was just a house after my husband died. I was accepted by my neighbours straight away and my postman knocked my door after 3 days to introduce himself. Have wonderful GPs who send me to see cardiologist and neurologist. Completely changed my life . Healthcare here is fair better than the had . Travel system is very good . Not met a nasty person yet.

I will never set foot in the area I came from ever again this is my home my happy place . Joined groups with shared interests. I live me life to the full before my move I existed had no life .

mabon2

Read the notice at the paypoint for parking you can't go wrong. Read the notice in the street if you are parking on the high street, again you can't go wrong. I just don't understand how you complain, surely there are notices, there are in abundance in our small town.

There are lots of different types of carparks in our area. Some you can top up, some you have to pay from the start, others you pay at the end, some by phone, some only by cash, others only by card. I'm walking disabled and often the instructions are nowhere near the parking space but the shop is. I can't always remember the rules and I can't always walk the distance to the noticeboard. Driving past the space to read the notice will probably leave me without a parking space in a busy car park. It is quite easy to get it wrong!

olderme

I'm my area, I think I will be an 'incomer' until I am an 'outgoer'

Same here, 14 yrs and still considered a newbie who knows nothing - quite amusing at times but can also seem very unfriendly and isolating.

I know how you feel. My health has not allowed me to interact as much as I would usually do! It’s been longer than I would have expected!

Read the notice at the paypoint for parking you can't go wrong. Read the notice in the street if you are parking on the high street, again you can't go wrong. I just don't understand how you complain, surely there are notices, there are in abundance in our small town.

When we lived in North West Tasmania you had to have lived there at least 50 years before you were not considered an incomer and an outsider. Mind you, I remember living in Kenilworth uk and I was accepted but this poor American woman was despised. Just because she was American. Horrible.

I had lived in a house for 7 years and my son was 3. Someone knocked on the door opposite asking for a family who had just moved in with a new baby, and they sent him across to me!

But where I live now, sorry, I do not know when that will be, I have only lived here for 38 years, and am still regarded as a newcomer. There is very much a circle of knowledge that it is hard to break. While we have a magazine that has many adverts and our library provides a list, as does our council website, it takes a while to find some useful people. Do search for facebook groups (there are likely to be a number) and join. You can then search for words like gardener/ plumber etc recommendations.
If you are retired, join your local U3A who are a mine of information

I definitely feel like a new person and we'll have been here 5 years early '26, I even find myself saying on the occasional times my mind goes blank when asked for post code, so ingrained was the last one, "Sorry about that I'm new here", but I'm not anymore, still feels like it though. Again we were in our old area getting on for 4 decades. Personally, glad to move out of London, or at least from the edge of it. 30 or so miles away. It's a lot greener, sandwiched as we are here between The Surrey Hills and The South Downs. We do go up to our old area for various things, dentist, lunch with friends and I grudgingly would say larger versions of the John Lewis and M&S than here, but now I see it with fresh eyes and it always seems heaving and so densely populated. On our return back to the sticks, we sigh with a certain amount of relief when we get beyond the M25 and the traffic thins out.

I've appreciated picking up local knowledge from some of the women who've been here much longer than me in a group I've been going to.

All the best Monica and Tanith in your respective new homes and new towns, I think I remember a few teething problems as far as continuation of our prescriptions with the then new GPs Practice which at the time was frustrating.

Ooooh MOnica, that’s a shame.

When we moved here I got stopped in the town centre for scooting my bike, and had to pay a hefty fine. I hadn’t realised the cycle lane had finished and was scooting to the bike rack. Ho hum, won’t do that again. Family still tease me about my AS BO.
I was also surprised that we had no trick or treaters at Hallowe’een. I was used to many children arriving. What a shame that I just had to eat those chocolate bars myself!

We have been here 4 years and certainly feel at home now, though I do still say that I haven’t lived here very long if I need some local system to be explained.
I did join a few things - fitness class, crafting group, gardening group - and it didn’t take long before I was bumping into familiar faces about town.
I hope you feel settled soon.

I’ve lived here 12 years, but the small town has expanded so much in recent years that I feel very well established. I have never encountered any feeling of being new or unwelcome.

Hi MOnica, I think you can use that excuse for a very long time… these things always take longer than expected - that’s my experience anyway.
Sympathy about the parking tickets - a lot of the new machines are not at all intuitive. Our local ones do not give you a ticket to put in your car, which I find very discombobulating!
All the very best in your new home.

We moved from the city to the country over 25 years ago, tbh I was almost overwhelmed by the friendliness. Our local farmer came with his wife to say hello, a neighbour invited us to tea and asked other neighbours to join us and another farmer asked us round for supper with other neighbours. We don't live in close proximity to anyone but there is a definite local community and I felt welcomed immediately. What I like is that we're from completely different backgrounds and income levels, absolutely no snobbishness although one of the women who have helped me in the house and who became a good friend said her ex husband used to refer to me as "Mrs Snobby" when I asked why, she said it was because "he's an ignorant prat"! He is!

Even not having moved, our local pharmacy has gone a bit crazy with refusing to dispense a prescription. Fortunately, there are a few pharmacies around here and one was very efficient. It’s just life ….

Monica I've found it the same we've been here 7wks now had the devils own job getting my meds then figuring out car parking the chemist said they'd send a txt when the meds were ready, they didn't. The buses take some figuring out too (save me paying for parking everytime i go into town. Its not been easy peasy for sure, oh! and on Market days roads close, car parks had certain rules too. Hey! ho! On I go lol.

friendlygingercat Perhaps you should consider a name change to ferocioustiger.

Must follow your posts Monica re - moving. We hope to move to a completely different area, we do know the area, have visited a lot due to one of our daughters and GS living nearby so should be less stressful. But having new neighbours and being the newbies in town I imagine can be confusing.
Also just for the record we are not moving just to be nearer to family, that is a consideration, especially since my DH became seriously ill, but we are going to be surrounded by the South Downs which has always been our fav place.

15:17friendlygingercat
To be fair you sound a PITA and nasty. Why go out of your way to antagonise?
Monica I hope you find your way about soon and enjoy your new home.

Posted on the wrong thread but just agreeing, in this town you have to be a dynasty of several generations or you're an incomer or worse, an English incomer. Although I've lived in Scotland for 50yrs I sound English 😂🤣

When people moved in two doors away a few years ago, I pitched up with a bottle of wine and told them bin days, nearest GP etc. It is a small cul de sac, many of the houses are rented but we have remained firm friends ever since.

Houses here are rarely for sale. I think the last was around 6 years ago.

I'm my area, I think I will be an 'incomer' until I am an 'outgoer'

Our first house was a 2-up 2-down terrace in Coventry.
After nine years we were still referred to as "those new people down the road" 😂

friendlygingercat

Whay gets up my nose is people who have lived in an area some time and shomehow think they are superior to you because of that fact. Thinking particularly of neighbours. That cuts no ice with me.

The NDN told me she had lived there since the dinosaurs and she paid for the dividing fence. I asked to see the reciept and she got in a huff. She didnt like the fact that I had pinned up a sheet and was using it as a background for a photography session. Eventually two panels of the fence fell apart one windy night. I got my handyman to replace them, being sure to leave the rotting piles of wood by her kitchen door. After all, they were HER property. I am petty like that.

I am the neighbour that you do not cross!

You sound nice.