Kidults in Supermarkets

ViceVersa

Romola

Interesting story about the little girls crashing into the pile of boxes. My first reaction was, well done the video woman.
But I'm just wondering about videoing children without a parent's consent. Could there have been a problem there?

Not if you are in a public place.

Whilst not illegal, it is not ethical and the parent could insist that the video is deleted in front of them.

4allweknow

The latest I saw was when a vhild picked a football out one of those big bins, bounced the ball about then started to kick it from one end of an aisle to another. His mother just stood chatting with another female, oblivious to what was going on in other aisles. The child about 8/9 years even started shouting at folk to watch out when he kicked the ball. No staff other than check-out to be seen.

It can be difficult to get shop staff to deal with troublesome behaviour.

I've not forgotten an episode years back now - back when I still lived in England and had gone into my regular greengrocers shop. I'd put my shopping bag down on the floor by my side whilst I picked out what I wanted to buy from various sections. It was a darn good job I spotted the thief out of the corner of my eye that was trying to steal my shopping bag (she'd probably spotted the Marks & Spencer bag of clothes I'd just bought there).

I was the one who had to grab hold of the other handle of my shopping bag and say "Thank you!!!!" very firmly (ie "Thank you for leaving go of my bag and stopping trying to steal it"). A right tug of war ensued - where I hung on grimly to my bag and refused to let her steal it and was repeating "Thank you!" louder and louder and shouting it by the time she eventually gave up the attempt and said a feeble "Oh - I thought it was my bag" and scuttled for it.

Myself, the shop assistant and the thief were the only people in that small shop. Yet the shop assistant said and did absolutely nothing to help - and didn't even grimace in sympathy with me as I paid for my goods on the till and apologise for doing nothing to help me. She would not have wanted to hear my thoughts about her at that point and I wish I had "told her off" and complained to the manager about getting no help whatsoever with keeping hold of my possessions - while she stood there with a dim look on her face and mind a million miles away.

I've changed since then - and would have yelled to her to tell her to help me during the struggle and, if she'd still looked vacant and done nowt - then I would have asked her why she'd left me to struggle with the would-be thief on my own.

I used to run a public library but that was before the 1980s. I can tell you that I was not afraid to exclude people who behaved badly, including unruly children. Just because it was a library does not mean people always behaved themselves.

On one occasion a drunk wandered in and fell asleep on a bench. When closing time came we could not get him to leave. The attendant shook him but he swore at us. I had to call the police who took him away in the white van.

On another occasion a woman came to me and admitted in a hushed tone that a man had urinated in a corner behind the shelves!. He had already left the library so there was nothing to be done except ask the attendant to bring a bucket of hot water and a cloth.

Two of my female staff complained that a male reader was making them feel uncomfortable. He would engage them in conversation behind the shelves and pass personal remarks about what they were wearing and their body shape. I gave him a very stern talking to and he was never seen again.

Why do parents treat shopping as an outing? Sad that our local supermarket used to have a library nearby where dad could take little ones while mum shopped in peace (or vice versa). It still has a massively underused play area, while the shop is swamped with unruly children.
Then parents complain they have no time to spend with them.

I used to travel regularly to London by train and pay a suppliment to use the first class coach. One journey there were two young children running the length of the coach and back. whooping and screaming. They had no business in that coach and were coming through from standard class next door. I told them to stop running around as they were annoying people. I put my arm across the aisle so they could not come back. A few moments later a woman came and yelled at me for telling her kids off. I told her that her children were badly behaved and obviously took their example from her. She continued to yell until a man opposite told her "Youve no business in here nor have your children. Now get your second class ass back where you belong." She flounced back to standard class. I enjoyed that.

Oreo

Where are the staff to tell this shopper to behave? Nowhere, or keeping their heads down.Nobody challenges anything now so crime and bad behaviour proliferates.

My youngest son works for Sainsbury's and they have been told not to approach anyone acting suspiciously or differently around the store. Please don't blame the staff. They have to put up with this sort of thing all the time. If you want to say something then next time go and find the manager.

Romola

Interesting story about the little girls crashing into the pile of boxes. My first reaction was, well done the video woman.
But I'm just wondering about videoing children without a parent's consent. Could there have been a problem there?

Not if you are in a public place.

The latest I saw was when a vhild picked a football out one of those big bins, bounced the ball about then started to kick it from one end of an aisle to another. His mother just stood chatting with another female, oblivious to what was going on in other aisles. The child about 8/9 years even started shouting at folk to watch out when he kicked the ball. No staff other than check-out to be seen.

Well it takes all sorts to make a world, doesn't it?

Romola

Interesting story about the little girls crashing into the pile of boxes. My first reaction was, well done the video woman.
But I'm just wondering about videoing children without a parent's consent. Could there have been a problem there?

It’s not actually illegal to video anyone in public, including children.
I think it should be!

I've had a mother looking apologetic in the supermarket as her child throws a wobbler. I just say "No need to apologise. I'm just thinking how glad I am it's not mine now, but I know how you feel!" We've all been there with an unconsolable baby. Of course allowing children to run wild is a different thing altogether!

theworriedwell

Babs03

@butterandjam
Oh that feeble ‘don’t do that’ usually said whilst mum or dad scroll on their phones or
simply don’t check to actually see if their child has actually stopped what they were doing. I also will offer a firm but polite ‘don’t do that dear’ whilst keeping eye contact with the child. At this point negligent parents usually pay attention and pull their child away.

Poor young parents wrong if they are playing with their kids wrong if they dare to look at their phones.

Yes but there’s a time and a place for everything. Chasing a child around a busy supermarket is childish and potentially dangerous. He could have taken the child to the park if he wanted to chase her.

Screeching children are one thing but a small crying baby is a completely different matter! and we have all been there and if a baby is crying then God help mums as if a baby screams then it's unhappy or miserable. I Have gone up to crying babies trying to pacify them, and yes I am that person.

Interesting story about the little girls crashing into the pile of boxes. My first reaction was, well done the video woman.
But I'm just wondering about videoing children without a parent's consent. Could there have been a problem there?

Most of us are going to be the elderly one day, hopefully not disabled and not having balance problems. Maybe you will become disabled in the future and I expect you would hope people are respectful and not looking at you with contempt! People both young and old can be intolerant but babies can't help being uncomfortable and the elderly can't help being a bit slower etc. Just be patient (I do agree with the children and adults who are being overactive tho)

These days some parents want a quiet life and allow their children (not kids, they are progeny of goats) to run wild so they don't have to chastise them.

That is almost certainly the case Icanhandthemback!
Sympathies 🙄

But don't we all try not to be our parents? ...Even those of us who had great ones?

My daughter would love someone to challenge her husband. This sort of behaviour goes against everything she stands for but he just won’t stop. Once he has the children hyped up he then gets cross when they carry it on. He’s the same at family events and we all get cross about it. He’s a good father and husband in many ways but not in this. The funny thing is that his parents were super strict so my daughter thinks he is trying not to be the same.

theworriedwell

Maybe the mother was in the main part of the library before or after an activity in another part of the library. Maybe she just needed to be out of the house, maybe she was homeless and living in a horrible b&b and the library was a safe space that didn't cost money she didn't have. Best to try not to judge.

Best to try not to judge.
Absolutely.

CariadAgain

My own definition of size of library I'm used to - in case anyone hasn't clicked I'm talking about a library a lot bigger than many will be used to:

www.discover.librariesunlimited.org.uk/-/exeterlibrary#/

Just clicked and had a look at the Facebook page too.

What a vibrant place it looks - full of activities and joyous things for children and adults alike. A real community hub where all are welcome.

NotSpaghetti

I always feel sorry for young mums with crying babies. In a library, gallery or museum I think this would be particularly true. ... How lovely that the mum is starting the little one on this road to imagination and learning.
I have offered to carry stuff, push the buggy, hold something, whilst they deal with the squirming one or whatever... I might roll an eye and smile ruefully - as I remember that "oh no" feeling.
Just saying "do you need a hand" might stop someone else feeling a failure.

I am annoyed with some parents to be honest - especially those with school age children who they are basically ignoring - (and the anti-social ones who are chasing about dangerously in public places such as shops).

Well said, NotSpaghetti
I can remember that feeling and getting hot and flustered with embarrassment. A kind word or offer of help is so much better than disapproving looks.

This kind of behaviour isn’t confined to children! In my local supermarket some of the “regulars” can be most annoying. Leaving a trolley in the middle of the aisle and wandering off, standing for ages in front of a display unaware that others wish to access something, knocking things off a shelf and leaving them on the floor etc. The worst is the elderly man on his mobility scooter who zooms around at top speed and uses a horn to make people move for him!

Maybe the mother was in the main part of the library before or after an activity in another part of the library. Maybe she just needed to be out of the house, maybe she was homeless and living in a horrible b&b and the library was a safe space that didn't cost money she didn't have. Best to try not to judge.

I always feel sorry for young mums with crying babies. In a library, gallery or museum I think this would be particularly true. ... How lovely that the mum is starting the little one on this road to imagination and learning.
I have offered to carry stuff, push the buggy, hold something, whilst they deal with the squirming one or whatever... I might roll an eye and smile ruefully - as I remember that "oh no" feeling.
Just saying "do you need a hand" might stop someone else feeling a failure.

I am annoyed with some parents to be honest - especially those with school age children who they are basically ignoring - (and the anti-social ones who are chasing about dangerously in public places such as shops).

Link not working - Exeter Library, Castle Street, Exeter.