Were you raised in an ‘open’ or ‘closed’ house, and was it different from your spouse?

It had never occurred to me to me till now how my childhood home might have affected me as an adult. We had very few visitors. One aunt used to visit ( she used to come on holiday with us, too). My dad’s brother who used to come to our house, fall asleep on the sofa wake up and go home. And a cousin of my mums. That was it. My poor mum had mental problems as a result I think of having many miscarriages.Our house was so shabby that I never invited friends from grammar school round. I then went to the opposite extreme in my late teens when me and my boyfriend lived in shared student houses for many years. I’ve ended up as someone that loves meeting people in certain situations but also craves solitude. I loved in when my kids were teenagers and ours was an open house for all of their friends. They were the best years of my life.

I was brought up in a very open house- despite there being so many of us anyone that came in door was fed at the table if they wished, and we even has foreign students to stay.

It was one of those homes where more food could be found for unexpected visitors and there was always a steady stream of family and friends coming and going.

People even now still say how much they loved coming to our house.

What this has to do Charlie Kirk or the Bodachs (whoever they are) I don't know.

I remember 2nd June 1953 - my parents bought a television for the Coronation and lots of neighbours brought their chairs and watched it in our small front room - in rows like a cinema!

Lots of visitors, mostly my Mum's family as she had several sisters and brothers and they used to pop in regularly or come for Sunday dinner.
My Dad's family lived further away so used to come and stay occasionally.
The door was always open for family and friends.
We used to go visiting too.

I'm not sure about DH's family but I know they had visitors although the family was much smaller. I was always welcomed when we were going out together.

We only ever had family visit when I was a child my parents always worked hard no time or money to socialise.
With my first husband we had a few parties he was a drinker who liked the fact it gave him an excuse to load the cabinet with booze. We did usually invite friends and their children who were friends with our kids. At the time we all had great fun with games for the kids and music but eventually the drink took hold and we divorced eventually. My later marriage was open house but mostly family visits with grandchildren in tow now I’m on my own family come and go all the time and I love it.

My parents were from big families so always family popping in and out plus my Mum had chums who called in frequently. At Christmas we had relatives staying over I remember "Top and Tailing" with my little cousin.
My DH house was busy too. My FiL was a local councillor, and JP in Scotland who also became the local Provost. Folk in and out most days, plus family and friends.
We always seemed to have a flow of people in and out when the Kids were still at home. Not so much now sadly.

When I was a child and teenager my parents had quite a lot of visitors, mainly relations who lived close enough, but also one or two of their old university friends - mostly my mother’s friends. I don’t remember any of my father’s friends visiting. Of course many of those friends didn’t live close enough to visit. I don’t think many people just dropped in. They were invited, in an informal way. I don’t remember many, if any, visits with neighbours.

At weekends and during holidays my school friends came frequently, to tea or just for an afternoon. My bedroom had a gas fire, quite unusual in the 1940s and 50s, so we didn’t need to be under the grown-ups’ feet all the time. We had quite a large garden, too.

We had lots of social gatherings - mostly family and close friends.

My parents had cards evenings and as children we used to sit under the tables - playing. Christmas meant always trooping to other houses on Boxing Day and new year

Lots of family came to visit for a few days, and we reciprocated going to stay with family members - in London, Herefordshire, down into Cornwall near the lizard.

Times have changed so much since those days. Our family has got much smaller and Our close family, extended family and friends generally go abroad, for their main Holiday , and somewhere in the U.K. for other holidays.

The only time it gets anywhere near how life used to be is at Christmas and perhaps Easter or possibly special birthdays.

We don’t entertain as we used to do.

Open house to friends and many relatives who dropped in as and when the mood took them.You know the old London song ‘Come round, any old time, make yourself at ‘ome’ ? Well, it was like that.😂

My family lived abroad, in an expat community and socialising was active and prominent especially as almost everyone worked for 'the company.'
The company actually built a town for the people who it employed, mostly Brits but also some Americans. We had a social/leisure club with swimming pool, indoor and outdoor cinemas, restaurant and bars, dance floor and stage, tennis courts and squash court. Also a golf course.
It sounds so weird in retrospect but of course felt totally normal.
So it was also quite normal for friends and neighbours to just drop in, especially for my DM who didn't work. Not many married women did. We also entertained sailors when British Navy ships called at the port.
The club showed films three nights a week, there was a dinner dance or just a dance most Saturdays and on Mondays it was Tombola (bingo) night. Am-Dram was also popular.

My Dad was very quiet and my Mum was very outgoing. She came from a large Irish family who were very close and regularly had get togethers with all their kids.

Mum was never happier than rustling up a spread for visitors with the kettle always on the boil. Dad would quietly welcome them but stayed in the background. He was well liked though and was better 1-1 than in large groups.

I remember we had my Irish cousin and Uncle who were Scout Leaders camping with about a dozen scouts over here and there was torrential rain and storms and the tents got flooded.
They turned up at our house and Mum welcomed them with open arms so we had about 14 of them sleeping over in a 3 bed semi.

Very quiet at my house No siblings and neither had my mum
Only child of an only child Dad was one of five but they lived quite sparsely without much money so neither mum or dad were brought up with house parties etc
However my maternal Nan ran a small guest house and I used to spend a lot of time there and mingle with the guests
Both my husbands were extroverts so there was more visiting and house parties then but been on my own a long time now and no one much to invite really What few relatives I had are all gone and kids and grandkids mostly overseas but that’s all ok I don’t mind

My Mum and Dad had lots of dinner parties, I remember my Dad’s 60th was a party for many of them.
Christmas was extended family, all at theirs, so about 12 or 14 of us, Sunday dinners for immediate family most weekends.
I used to host bonfire parties for 25 - 30 and bbq’s for up to 20, MrJ’s family being Irish had an open door, far more informal than my parents, both of us had a sociable 20’s, house parties with a bottle in hand!
So, open door to answer OP.
What was Charlie Kirk’s experience and view?

I grew up in a house where as my father came in the back door, our friends went out the front door. He wasn’t sociable. My mum wanted to be but it wasn’t possible.

My children grew up in a home where their friends were always welcome, day and night. Parties, sleepovers, even staying with us was quite normal. It was so lovely to see them all around and know that they enjoyed being there.

(Thinking aloud that may be why I put up with the abuse for so long, it was like my Dad never welcoming people)

Very closed except for a couple of Dad's friends. Mum had a good women friend up the road in our first house.

After Dad died and Mum was a lot weller (she went for care in a M Hospital)

She was very sociable.

Going to uni was the making of me, lots of friendships, m and f, this or that meeting or DIY parties. This carried on through my first marriage.

The marriage I had escaped from, coercive abuse, I couldn't have friends any more except at the gym which got me through, now Im starting to put that right and loving it.

No parties, but very much an open house. So much so that my mother turned it into a small tea shop/sweet shop that was literally open all hours. In our front room!

The world and his wife were at my childhood home, my parents due to their jobs knew everyone in our small village, anyone was invited in and usually given wine.
I am exactly the opposite

My father was an army officer. It is a life that involves a alot of socialising and my mother was ideal for the job. Not so much a party person but someone who liked people. She was pretty and had a sparkling personality. Most entertaining was fairly formal, dinnner parties, cocktail parties. People liked her.

DH came from a very different background. He came from a small town where his family had lived for generations, They illustrated a form of socialising I noticed among many of my clients when I worked for Age Concern, people who also lived close to their family and in a village the family. Nearly all socialising was in public places, the street, shops, post office. Walking round town with my MiL was a succession of conversations with peopel she had known all her life, but had probably never been in their houses nor they in hers.

I am sociable and like people, but I am neurally diverse. I do not like parties or crowded places, We have friends and family who call in, or stay, or come for a meal, but both of us prefer one to one or two to two socialising.

valdavi

Blinking heck, Viceversa, never been to a house party? I'm sociaphobic & we don't have a lot of visitors, but when I was young I used to go to parties at others' houses all the time (mainly a student thing, but also before & after).
We had an "open" house growing up, we were a farm, we could see them coming a mile off & Mum always moaned she was too busy for visitors, but by the time they were at the door you couldn't have asked for a more hospitable welcome,

No, I honestly don't remember ever having been at a house party, even as a student.

The world and his wife came to our house.
My mum and dad both loved a party. We often had friends of my mum who had left their husbands ( only for a short time)
When my dad wasn’t at sea he was a crane driver/ rigger in the docks. In those days a ship could be tied up for a week.
My dad often invited members of the crew to our house for a bit of normality.
Then there were their close friends who regularly came round Saturday night.
My partner and I were big party people but not so much now. Not such a big home plus it’s hard work partying now 😂

Blinking heck, Viceversa, never been to a house party? I'm sociaphobic & we don't have a lot of visitors, but when I was young I used to go to parties at others' houses all the time (mainly a student thing, but also before & after).
We had an "open" house growing up, we were a farm, we could see them coming a mile off & Mum always moaned she was too busy for visitors, but by the time they were at the door you couldn't have asked for a more hospitable welcome,

Well we did have lots of visitors but all family. My parents had 15 siblings between them and I lost count of how many cousins I have. Husband grew up in a quiet house with few visitors.

Growing up I lived in a quiet, very organised house. Our visitors, and those we visited were in the main family. We had small birthday parties, but one aunt had a marvellous New Year party every year. Adults only and all children upstairs.
My children always had a birthday party, and we had numerous dinner parties and other sorts. We went to lots also. It was I think ‘the thing’ in the 70s and 80s.
Now just entering our eighties we like the quiet life

Growing up, visitors were definitely few and far between in our house. Most of the time it was just my parents and I.
When my children were young, we often had their friends stay either for meals or sometimes for sleepovers. However, I've never had a party in the house - nor have I ever been to a house party.