It was about 2:30 am, I'd come out of the shower all clean and tidy and bunged some fish fingers in the microwave for 3 minutes.
While they were cooking, I grabbed the bottle of vinegar and a bottle of mayo. When the fingers were out, I sprinkled vinegar on them, then tried squirting the mayo over them, but we all know how thick the mayo is at times; it wouldn't really come out, so I dropped some vinegar in, put the lid back on and began to violently shake the bottle.
Then the lid came off!
There was a huge dollop clinging to my newly washed and still damp hair, like one of those fat naked cherubs on ancient painted walls, lying on the side with an extended arm, various other bits all over my t-shirt and shorts and the kitchen was a mess, like an explosion in a sauce factory!
So I shoved the fingers back into the microwave to keep them warm, a second shower and a change of shirt and shorts, then spent a while scrubbing the kitchen!
Finally, I managed to have my fingers with squirty mayo, and a ton of Alpro Nutty Almond milk to wash them down!
It was about 3:30 by the time I crashed into bed with 2 hot water bottles! Still laughing about it now!
Banking Bullies! Feeling ignored, and most un'appy
