Anybody know any rude songs? Warning crude humour

It was mainly whilst I was at uni and also at my husband’s uni, especially after sporting matches ( he was at London University) The whole pub full would roar them out, we were all drunk and disorderly. Then we would drive back, no illegal drunk driving in those days. It is a wonder we didn’t crash the car. Happy, carefree days - and the beer was really cheap too.

I think I led a sheltered life. I don’t remember hearing any rude songs in my childhood, and judging from those on here would have found them feeble stuff if I had.

I learned rude songs on the school bus taking us to our rural secondary school. Some of the lads were in the army cadets and sang them at camp. Most have been mentioned already.

Roll me over in the clover was one of the favourites. Even the bus driver joined in with the chorus.

I'm reminded of the old Flanders and Swann which begins:-

Ma's out, Pa's out. Let's talk rude.

Pee po belly bum drawers!

Watched on Facebook this morning part of a comedy show with Jim Davidson and Charlie Drake made me laugh out loud.

Laughed at some of the posts here. Brightened my day . 🤣

We'll have to agree to disagree Caleo. I'm not sure that children using strong language would be 'having fun'.

Magenta8

It is quite understandable why this is not the thread for you Kate1949.

I must admit I find the misogynistic content of many rugby songs more offensive than the puerile use of 'naughty' words.

At the risk of sounding prissy, I don't find the use of these words amusing in itself. Although vulgar humour can be hilarious.

They can be amusing in themselves in context. There is a funny bit of 'The King's Speech' where Lionel persuades Bertie to shout aloud all the rude words Bertie knows.

Magenta8

My DD came home from school one day and sang the following ditty to me:-

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin flew away
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway

I recommend the Youtube analysis of this and the many variations by Tom Scott it is hilarious.

During the political crisis shortly before Christmas, when Edward the Eighth was about to abdicate , two young teachers arrived at school walking through the playground, giggling and singing

"Hark the herald angels sing
Mrs. Simpson stole our king"

It is quite understandable why this is not the thread for you Kate1949.

I must admit I find the misogynistic content of many rugby songs more offensive than the puerile use of 'naughty' words.

At the risk of sounding prissy, I don't find the use of these words amusing in itself. Although vulgar humour can be hilarious.

Kate1949

I have an aversion to 'strong language'. My father was a horrible, violent drunk who used the worst language imaginable in front of us children. I hate it now. Obviously it's everywhere now and can't be avoided but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

We surely must all understand your aversion, Kate. There are times and places for using " strong language" and parent to child is not the best occasion for it.

Child to child, as ever, is okay. It's the intention that matters. The intention of an aggressive drunk is not benevolent.

The intention of young children is to play and have fun .

I have an aversion to 'strong language'. My father was a horrible, violent drunk who used the worst language imaginable in front of us children. I hate it now. Obviously it's everywhere now and can't be avoided but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Engineer Watson, before he died, a hum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum
Couldn’t keep his wife satisfies, a hum (3 times) etc.
So he built a prick of steel, it was driven by a bloody big wheel

A Rugby son on an LP, I had as a teen ….

My DD came home from school one day and sang the following ditty to me:-

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin flew away
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway

I recommend the Youtube analysis of this and the many variations by Tom Scott it is hilarious.

Mt61

Yes I’ve heard that one ha.
Embarrassed at our football fans with what ditties they come out with, so much so won’t be going on another match, don’t want my grandchild hearing that filthy language.

I understand your feeling for the children's safety. However your idea is maybe simplistic? I hope and expect the children will learn irreverent language despite your best efforts.
I never went to football matches so cannot have an opinion on fans' language ----it may be mysogynistic, or racist, or ethno -nationalist . But I would not worry about "strong language".

Prudishness doesn't help children.

"I found him crude and inappropriate."
At times yes Sago, but he could also be funny, and at times very cutting. I was not offended by him, in the same way as I am not offended by this thread. I think sometimes people choose to be offended at everything.

From my brothers rugby days I remember being horrified at having a crowd of burly players 'singing' 'The cuckoo is a strange bird' in the pub afterwards (they'd won) which I can't repeat on here as it will offend the thread police, but the rest of the pub at the time were laughing and joining in. It was f.u.n.

Caleo

This has been one of the most cheerful and uplifting threads. To think that children can be irreverent about sex and learn thereby! There is an underground culture among children that HELPS THEM LEARN THROUGH PLAY. Children laughing and learning.

I loved hearing that at least two of us Grans who went to Scottish schools learned 'The Ball of Kirriemuir'.

'There Once Was a Gay Caballero' even teaches a direct lesson.

I’ve just looked up the lyrics to The Ball as something about the title stirred my memory. DH when he was my boyfriend used to sing it but only the first verse and chorus. He used to sing some of the others that have been posted.

SiobhanSharpe

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

To continue your song

'They called the bastard Stephen
They called the bastard Stephen
They called the bastard Stephen
'Cos that was the name of the ink. Quink, Quink.'

Both Stephen and Quink were popular fountain pen inks.
This is going to be in my head all day, so thanks for that!

Most of the rugby songs I know have already been quoted, but does anyone else know a couple I picked up playing rugby in France?

Le curé de Camarai, il a les couilles qui pendent..... and

Ils ont des grands couillons, vivent les Bretons!

I remember a few of these from my school days! They made me smile- nothing wrong with a bit of silliness.

My clean living God fearing Grandma was not averse to coming out with rude songs that we didn't even know were rude then!

I think a lot of them came from the old music hall days.

Great thread.

This has been one of the most cheerful and uplifting threads. To think that children can be irreverent about sex and learn thereby! There is an underground culture among children that HELPS THEM LEARN THROUGH PLAY. Children laughing and learning.

I loved hearing that at least two of us Grans who went to Scottish schools learned 'The Ball of Kirriemuir'.

'There Once Was a Gay Caballero' even teaches a direct lesson.

I'm killing myself laughing at all the hilarious posts here!

RosieandherMaw

Is this meant to be humorous?
I thought we’d got over tittering at Colonel Bogey when we were kids.

Well, thank you for the telling off. I made it quite clear that this was something from my childhood, so clearly childish. This was supposed to be a lighthearted thread but along you come and spoil it. Why bother with a thread you know is going to offend you? Sometimes you should just keep your self imposed moral superiority to yourself and scroll on by.

Yes I’ve heard that one ha.
Embarrassed at our football fans with what ditties they come out with, so much so won’t be going on another match, don’t want my grandchild hearing that filthy language.

We used to sing them on a Saturday night long ago before we had children. Eskimo Nell, the good ship Venus one etc. Funny enough my friends here sung them,too back on the 1960s. So they were truly international. We did kind of grow out of it,though.