Anybody know any rude songs? Warning crude humour

I forgot to say but the tune is Colonel Bogey

Noooooooo! We will be earworming this all night.

Love it !

This is crude, sexist and horrible. I believe it is a ‘rugby’ song. Apologies in advance. (To the tune of ‘the Ash Grove’ or similar)
One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
The hairs on her diddy-di-dum
Hang down to her knees.
(Told you it was gross. Childish too.)

There is a really rude (crude) version of Tie my wallaby down

My Mum taught my Daughter the song….
Maria, Maria, she pee’d on the fire.
The fire was hot so she pee’d in the pot.
The pot was too small……etc, etc.
unfortunately my Daughter then taught it to a neighbours child, said Neighbour was very distressed until I explained it wasnt me teaching my child a rude song….it was my Mother lol.

Also…..It was in Bagdad where me Mother met me Dad, it was in the Foreign Legion where they did a dirty treason……(I’ll leave this with you for the rest), sorry lol.

I think I know the ending to your first song Kateykrunch.

I got into terrible trouble for repeating this to a neighbour’s child when I was 5 or 6. I can’t recall who told it to me:

Cowboy Jimmy had a five foot willy
He showed it to the lady next door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it’s only 2 foot 4.

Is this meant to be humorous?
I thought we’d got over tittering at Colonel Bogey when we were kids.

RosieandherMaw

Is this meant to be humorous?
I thought we’d got over tittering at Colonel Bogey when we were kids.

Seems we haven’t.
They just aren’t funny.

Well, you were warned that it was going to be crude.

RosieandherMaw

Is this meant to be humorous?
I thought we’d got over tittering at Colonel Bogey when we were kids.

Some of us have primitive senses of humour. I enjoy puns too

E.g. (in a northern Irish accent

The boys were all feeling merry so Mary stood up and walked out.

Ooo eck, the Post Police are here. New song, Scroll on by

Then there’s the Ball of Kerriemuir, sung by Kenneth McKellor, no less.
It’s the one that goes
Four and twenty virgins came down from Inverness
And when the ball was over there were four and twenty less…

"The Ball of Kirriemuir "would annoy Petra and Rosie, but I cannot remember all of it only the line "the village policeman, he was there, he did a funny trick"

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

Anyone connected with rugby will know some very crude songs, which would horrify many on here.l, so I won’t share them.
My favourite childhood one was
Molly McGuire
she peed on the fire
The fire was too hot
so she peed on the pot
The pot was too round
so she peed on the ground.
The ground was too flat
so she peed on the cat
And the cat ran away
with the pee on its back.

Just imagine the possible labels now
racist, vulgar and cruel to animals.

[sunshine

SiobhanSharpe

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

lol

Did you learn "The Gay Caballero" too?

Are you a male poster, Caleo?
I've often wondered.
🏉🏉

*Caleo" I thought it went "Goering has two but . . ." Twice as many as his Fuehrer!

petra

RosieandherMaw

Is this meant to be humorous?
I thought we’d got over tittering at Colonel Bogey when we were kids.

Seems we haven’t.
They just aren’t funny.

It's the equivalent of gallows humour. When there is nothing but bad news and worse news in the media, a spot of ribaldry releases stress and is very cheering.