Anybody know any rude songs? Warning crude humour

rafichagran

Sago

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Yes, he would. I found the old bugger funny.

I found him crude and inappropriate.

I can remember all of ‘Twas on the Good Ship Venus” as told to me by a boy on the local rec. many years ago . It’s far too rude to post on here though

rafichagran

Sago

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Yes, he would. I found the old bugger funny.

I think it would take a miracle.

We all have the right to be puerile and vulgar occasionally. Always being grownup and serious can get a bit much sometimes. The title of the thread should have been a warning to anyone who didn't want to read the posts that they are not obliged to read every thread, just as those who don't want to join in the politics or games threads or the discussion of TV soaps are free to avoid them.

The tune of The Ball of Kirriemuir is in a Scottish dance rhythm. This thread is about rude songs the combination of a rollicking good tune and disreputable lyrics is very singable.

Sago

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Yes, he would. I found the old bugger funny.

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Caleo is a male name, I think (possibly Greek).

Mollygo

Blossoming

I think the rude songs I know are too rude to share on Gransnet.

The rudest one I know has several verses is sung to The Ash Grove and I certainly wouldn’t share it on GN -or anywhere else really.

I know the feeling, Blossoming and Mollygo . I did reflect on whether or not I ought post my OP as I had the impression that the mods may not approve of rude verses.

I decided that Grans are human beings and are therefore not free from sin.

Allira

Are you a male poster, Caleo?
I've often wondered.
🏉🏉

How intriguing! Why do you ask? But I don't mind telling I am a woman .

You are not unusual to wonder that. I go to another online discussion where my name is very feminine gendered and they seem to take it for grantedt that I am a woman. But I have assigned genders to some posters there which I have been wrong about.

I made up the name Caleo simply because as I like the letters it's made up of, and it is short. However I did ask ChatGPT if Caleo is a real name, and it is , much to my surprise ---a mans' name incidentally.

Blossoming

I think the rude songs I know are too rude to share on Gransnet.

The rudest one I know has several verses is sung to The Ash Grove and I certainly wouldn’t share it on GN -or anywhere else really.

SiobhanSharpe

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

Ooooooh!!

I think the rude songs I know are too rude to share on Gransnet.

Couldn’t raise a smile at any of them tbh if something is crude it really has to be very funny.

It's not really gallows humour, though.
It's more puerile than that.

I remember thinking the song about Hitler and his balls was funny when I was 14 - it was nearer the time when he was the enemy.

petra

RosieandherMaw

Is this meant to be humorous?
I thought we’d got over tittering at Colonel Bogey when we were kids.

Seems we haven’t.
They just aren’t funny.

It's the equivalent of gallows humour. When there is nothing but bad news and worse news in the media, a spot of ribaldry releases stress and is very cheering.

*Caleo" I thought it went "Goering has two but . . ." Twice as many as his Fuehrer!

Are you a male poster, Caleo?
I've often wondered.
🏉🏉

Did you learn "The Gay Caballero" too?

SiobhanSharpe

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

lol

[sunshine

Anyone connected with rugby will know some very crude songs, which would horrify many on here.l, so I won’t share them.
My favourite childhood one was
Molly McGuire
she peed on the fire
The fire was too hot
so she peed on the pot
The pot was too round
so she peed on the ground.
The ground was too flat
so she peed on the cat
And the cat ran away
with the pee on its back.

Just imagine the possible labels now
racist, vulgar and cruel to animals.

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

"The Ball of Kirriemuir "would annoy Petra and Rosie, but I cannot remember all of it only the line "the village policeman, he was there, he did a funny trick"

Then there’s the Ball of Kerriemuir, sung by Kenneth McKellor, no less.
It’s the one that goes
Four and twenty virgins came down from Inverness
And when the ball was over there were four and twenty less…

Ooo eck, the Post Police are here. New song, Scroll on by