Funny things overheard

Many years ago a friend had a party for her birthday which happened to be on New Year’s Eve at midnight nothing happened and friend said that as she was Jewish they celebrated New Year later in the year not on the 1st Jan.
As we left another friend said “I’m not doing that again, next year I’m only celebrating with genitals!” - she meant gentiles!!

An elderly lady was talking to her friend about her husband who had recently died.

“Those LGBT nurses were very good- they were out at all hours”

Her daughter interrupted her and said “I’ve told you before Mum, not LGBT. They’re from GSTT- Guy’s and St Thomas Trust’b

Years ago I took a call at work from the leader of the Royal Marine's band. When my boss returned from a meeting I said, 'Leon Solent rang and wants you to ring him back.'
My boss creased up...

These are cheering me up today. Love them…

I was walking through town and passed a group of American tourists with their guide who told them ‘in the next street we’ll pass the amazing Westminster Abbey’. I live in York.

I was waiting in the chemist for my prescription. A rather inebriated older gentleman came in to collect his prescription. The assistant said "what's the address?" He staggered about a bit, then said"I know this, no, don't tell me".......

On a flight from Washington to London - the row of three behind me comprised Mum Dad and Young Child (10 ish) - They were discussing food choices they'd make whilst on vacation - I wasn't really listening until the child cried out "I don't wanna eat squirrel" I could only imagine what was on the rest of the menu!

Narnia

In a shop listening to 2 assistants as they stocked shelves, discussing someone that needed to see a "vaginacologist" 😂😂

🤣🤣🤣

Not over heard but still funny. Young waitress in a coffee shop. I ordered a pot of tea with extra hot water. She brought my tea but with only one teapot. I asked where my extra hot water was and she said in the teapot I boiled the water twice.
I smile to myself when I tell this story - I just wasn’t clear enough with my request 😂

At school pick up a little girls was saying that she was having a fancy dress party. She was going as Elsa and her dad was going to be pissed off.

The mum quickly stepped in to say “he is going to be Christoff”

'Can't swim'. Fair enough if abseiling down a cliff into the sea or river!

A secretary had work had a daughter who was nearing the end of her PhD and was about to make the presentation at the end. She came in late one morning, apologised, and said, ‘I was up late last night helping daughter with her vulva!.’ (Viva)

When my youngest was a baby I went into a chemist and asked for baby food. I was told they didn’t have any as it wasn’t the right time of year!!!

In a shop listening to 2 assistants as they stocked shelves, discussing someone that needed to see a "vaginacologist" 😂😂

Half a century ago - I worked for a large company and was having lunch with a friend at a local eatery. Brother in law of said friend was having an extra marital affair with young secretary on next table. Young girl on next table says: G is taking me out this Friday to.....but his wife (sister of my friend) doesn't know about us yet. I was holding my breath that she would not mention his full name or other details and made sure I kept talking so my friend would be listening to me. Phew!

I asked an assistant in Woolworths where the mothballs were and she asked me what kind of group are they?

Not so much Funny as misinformation.
Young boy asked his Dad what the difference was between plain and self raising flour.
Dad replied that self raising flour had yeast in it.

Luckygirl3

On a village bus. Two women sitting in front of me. "Have you seen the new doctor? Skinny as a rail. Needs a good meal. What must his wife be thinking of?"

I was the wife .........

😂😂😂

I was on an organised walk which passed through Bladon churchyard, where Winston Churchill is buried. We overheard a tourist looking at the village school building and saying: 'I don't think much of Blenheim Palace, not from the back anyway'!

Many years ago, I was standing watching swans on the pond. The following conversation came from behind me.

You know, swans mate for life.

Do they? What happens if one dies?

I heard that the one left behind commits suicide.

The mind boggles - I had visions of a bereft swan trying to drown itself................

I'm loving these!🤣

Luckygirl3

On a village bus. Two women sitting in front of me. "Have you seen the new doctor? Skinny as a rail. Needs a good meal. What must his wife be thinking of?"

I was the wife .........

😆

In the office I worked in -

Young girl to her boss 'What did you get from the sandwich shop?'

Boss 'I had the Manager's Special'.

Girl 'Oh I would have liked that but I'm not a manager like you.'

Luckygirl3

Overhead on bus, two ladies discussing grandchildren
“ My grandson has got the lead part in the Shakespeare play at his school”.

“Oh, what part is he playing?”

“Well it’s the leading part so he’ll be Shakespeare of course”.