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Enjoying anticipation, or a complete surprise!

(29 Posts)
keepingquiet Mon 03-Nov-25 16:15:36

I have learned that suprises don't always end positively for everyone.

I once went to a surprise party where the well meaning family had booked a hall and a disco but no food. If that was me I would have been mortified. We had to raid a vending machine after a long journey to get there.

Another instance a friend was expecting a suprise party for a significant birthday but the suprise was there wasn't one! She has never forgotten how it made her feel so now always organises her own celebrations.

A family member thought he would suprise his mum by coming back from Australia and hidning in the broom cupboard. I said that was a terrible idea and would give his mum a heart attack!

I always organise my own partys as I have no else to do so- but I did have a surprise once when my daughter, who said she couldn't come because she had other commitments (she lives a good few hours away) turned up unexpectedly. Now, that was a lovely surprise, so I suppose some surprises work and some don't.

Oreo Mon 03-Nov-25 15:58:32

I hate surprises! I like to know what’s going to happen in advance.

M0nica Mon 03-Nov-25 15:51:43

Its not that I enjoy the anticipation, but I certainly do not enjoy the surprise.

I like/need to be mentally prepared for a really enjoyable event, but if it sprung on me, my mind goes in a awhirl, I can not concentrate and think and afterwards,cannot remember everything that happened. DS is exactly the same. As a baby/toddler, he would cry for ages if surprised by something, no matter how nice.

Schnackie2 Mon 03-Nov-25 14:54:42

I have never liked to be 'surprised' whether a party, or visit from someone. My late mum was the same, and my 44 yr old DD is as well, so maybe it runs in the family. But I love the period of anticipation leading up to a happy event, whether it is a party, day out, or visit from family. I think about what I will wear, if I need to visit the hairdresser, etc. Fortunately we are a small family so surprises rarely occur.

Now, in the past year my DD and DSIL have gotten divorced. Very amicable, not able to discuss details, but good relationship. They live close to each other and DGS 12 and DGD 11 spend a week with each parent. Yesterday my daughter told me that her mother-in-law who lives across the country (USA) has announced that she is bringing her other 3 grandchildren ( who live near her) to visit her son and my (our) 2 grandchildren, and she wants it to be a surprise!! This will occur during the week between Christmas and New Year, and the children will all have a wonderful time. Unfortunately it just happens that it would normally be the week that my daughter has the children, and on top of that, she works at a university and will be off that week. I should add, that DSIL asked my DD if this would be ok with her, and she told me that she replied quickly 'of course', and since then has thought more about it.

OBVIOUSLY I am keeping my nose out and I'm sure it will be fine, as my DD gets along with her former in-laws and the cousins, so she will get to spend time with the kids, and she and DSIL will make alternate arrangements to make up for the time. It has just caused me to wonder, if others think a big surprise like this is a great idea, or do you prefer the anticipation. Sorry for the long post.