The whole damn Christmas Thing!

I am, of course, most sad for those for whom Christmas is/was/is going to be less than it is for others, but I must be very fortunate in looking forward to it.

However, neither I nor any of my ancestors has gone OTT with it - modest gifts, modest tree (I have a glorious articial one bought 30 years ago decorated in "old fashioned" style and with some glass baubles from my childhood and the Woolies fairy that was on our tree when I was a tiny tot).

I've hosted Christmas Day for abt 45 years and it has been well received by all with no criticism if not quite on time or something is overdone. Now my eldest DD and SIL host it as they have children, while last year we went south to my youngest DD and her inlaws and all was lovely.

As a child we visited my DM's parents on Boxing Day along with all the aunts, uncles and cousins. The adults left Granny in charge while they all went to the pub and Granny let us kids watch TV programmes that our parents might object to. We all slept the night on the attic floor - if we slept at all!

Nobody seriously fell out (though there was one mardy cousin - now loved very much in her late 70s).

Later in the week we visited other family a bit further away including the other Grandma who had dementia and laughed herself silly all day! It was quite a trek on public transport and we sometimes got stuck in the snow!

I've never spent a fortune on presents or given much notice to what others do.

I used to go to church till my DDs were teenagers and decided it wasn't for them. I might start going again one day as I miss it.

Abt 10 years ago one of the "boxing day" cousins visited me from her long-term home in New Zealand with another more distant relative who had also emigrated there, and we discovered we all made our "special trifle" to the exact same recipe as our Grandma/second cousin had made 60 years earlier! I still make it for my eldest DD who loves it.

I suppose because my family are so uncritical about things and get along I would still be happy to host Christmas Day for them all cos I know they would all pitch in.

I wish everyone's situation was like mine and feel very lucky.

Wishing you all well and hope you all have a peaceful time however you spend it.

EkwaNimitee

raficha it was just a joke!
I actually made my plans back in march.

OK, good on you, so many people moan, I probably did not see that. Glad you have plans, if you started on March are you doing something extra nice?

I saw white poinsettias in Waitrose last week and was almost tempted but they wouldn't last til 25th Dec

We're having a lovely family get together at my daughter's this year. There'll be nine adults and four children. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm providing the crackers and will make a 'nursery' trifle i.e. no booze, and a sherry trifle. For us there's no religious significance. It's just a once-a-year opportunity to meet up with people we love and give and receive gifts. Luckily, none of us will be working so we can all relax and have a good time together. What's wrong with that?

My best Christmas Eve was during Covid. I lived a 25 mile round trip from the supermarket and cannot believe that I had run out of butter! I wandered around Morrisons.....waited in a small queue with a mask on and a huge trolley with only half a pound of butter in it and (another) bottle of champagne. It made me laugh. I've never known a Christmas Eve like it. Then I drove past the hardware shop next door (it was about 4p.m. and already dark) and there was this 7ft Christmas Tree outside with a big FREE label on it. I can honestly say that this was the best Christmas EVER. No-one to cook for, no visitors.....just me on my own with a 7ft Christmas tree and home made mince pies washed down with a bottle of champagne. Delicious.

Many thanks HelterSkelter1. Your thoughts are much appreciated. I consider myself lucky as I do have people around who care and feel so sorry for those who are on their own without choice.

raficha it was just a joke!
I actually made my plans back in march.

HelterSkelter1

Referring to the mention of Christmas windows, a relative lives in a small village where people decorate their windowx for Advent. Each window is revealed in turn on each day of December. How exciting. And they do look wonderful

Is that Saltaire ?

Eh? Very muddled post

Sankev you sound a lovely caring mum and gran. I hope you have a gentle christmas and cope as best you can at a sad time for you all.

EkwaNimitee

Far too early to start thinking about christmas!

Not for families with limited incomes, they start early to spread their income out. Christmas starts for me in December. I just get all the preparatory work done and out the way so I enjoy December.
All people are different and what is too early for some, is right for others. I have 3 birthdays in December of immediate families, I love that too.

Each to their own when it comes to Christmas I think. This is going to be my first Christmas without my DH who passed only a month ago. Usually we work around our various children’s commitments and they come and go as they please. No pressure and we normally have at least two of our adult children Christmas Day for lunch. I don’t make a fuss if they choose to go elsewhere as I get to see them regularly anyway. This year is going to be so very different. I would happily spend the day alone. Not to be morbid but just so I don’t have to put on a face to show I’m okay. I can shed a few tears without feeling guilty that my young grandchildren are supposed to be enjoying Christmas. Doesn’t really matter as my family are incredibly supportive and will be shedding a few tears themselves. But I know I will struggle. I’m just not sure yet about things like putting up the tree but realistically I know life has to continue so will probably do it for my grandkids. I do believe the true meaning of Christmas has generally been lost amongst the commercial aspects and far too much pressure to make it perfect! Just enjoy whatever pleases you. If that’s a big family thing all good to you, but if you want something different then ignore the hype and pressure from everything else. Do what makes you feel comfortable.

It’s only stressful if you make it so, I’m cooking for 12, possibly 14, having had five children I’m used to multi catering. It’s basically a roast dinner, prepare veg and puddings the day before and lay tables. The family all bring something nice to drink, and a jolly time is had by all. I definitely do not stress re presents they get what they are given , I blame advertising and the media for this constant ‘perfect Christmas myth’ that we are supposed to achieve.

I think it would suit better if Xmas was at end of February- Build up would start at beginning of December not September when it’s still summer time!
The worst two months of the year for me to get through are January and February so a later Xmas would make the long cold days of these months more enjoyable.
Last year half our family had Xmas dinner in our house and other half in DDs house . Then we all had a buffet tea together in our house. We played silly games and quizzes.
I find the week after Xmas to be like 6 Sundays in a row and depressing.

It all goes back to pre-Christian times. A party to frighten away any evil spirits that might be lurking in the winter dark!

The early Church knew what they were doing when they picked the winter solstice as the date to convince new Christian converts to celebrate Christmas. People had already been partying for hundreds of years!

Far too early to start thinking about christmas!

I love Christmas; yes it does make me think of the lonely, and people who cannot afford the extravagance of Christmas, but I find it magical.
I have a son and daughter, but my choice entirely is to spend ot with my partner, just us too. My son lives 280 miles away and I will see him end of November to exchange gifts to him and his family. He has one 18 year old son, but his step children are not mine. I still buy for them now
My daughter I will see after Christmas.
I have a real tree, good food paid for by my Nector points I save for Christmas. I do not spend a fortune and go into debt, yet everyone us happy.
I love silly Christmas programmes that are so not true in real life, I like going to a farm to get my daughters Xmas tree, and I always buy a Christmas book in December on my kindle. I don't do commercial, don't get into a state, and only spend what I can afford.

There is a lot of that I have found on these forums. People having a go, being unkind, unnecessarily nasty.
I’m not saying you were having a go but some do I have experienced it myself so I try not to post anything theses days .yes I know I am posting now but just wanted to say sometimes people respond to posts without considering how their response comes across.
So go on everyone have a go at me now

We have minimised Christmas as much as is feasible. No presents at all. One get together with the wider family and one with immediate family on the day. I only ever watch iPlayer so I dont see adverts and generally try to avoid all commercialisation. Shop by Click and Collect. I always find my greatest joy is going for a lovely walk with the family over Christmas. We have a favourite route we walk every year. Very luckily for me DH opts to cook and isnt interested in the walking.

I know I have asked before, ‘ How many of you are doing exactly what you want at Christmas?’.
So many have elderly relatives they have to host, or inlaws to whom they must take the grandchildren, when they would much rather stay ‘ home alone’.
I also feel social media is responsible for so many posts from people describing large, happy, family gatherings, when maybe a lot of those involved would much rather be at home in their pyjamas in front of the telly, knee deep in wrapping paper, eating an M&S Christmas dinner!

GrannyGravy13

StripeyGran I was not having a go at you, what a strange comment 🤷‍♀️

Quite agree… think Christmas has ‘got’ her already. I’ve happily had the last couple of Christmas’s alone. Spent so much time getting parcels and cards, etc etc, off to family ( in Japan and elsewhere) that I was exhausted by Christmas and happy just to cook for one and watch and do what I wanted! I FaceTimed with family … just enough! Particularly as the time difference meant Christmas was not the same time here!
At 80 next year…I’ve had enough of cooking for Christmas and catering for various ‘diets’ . Happy to be on my own. Be happier with a cook and cleaner… but…!

Can’t understand all the hype. It causes so much stress for those that don’t have a lot of money to spend.

keepcalmandcavachon Agree very much.

Like you we just ignore the commercialism in shops and on TV. In fact, we ignore shops and live TV as much as possible. On TV we just record what we want to see - I can't remember when I last saw an advert.

We do what we like doing and that's it - some decorations, hymns, meeting up only with people we want to see, walks, food and a few presents. I spent 40+ years at work stressed out, I have no intention of getting stressed out trying to have some fun!

Stripegran Great idea! Between Halloween, Guy Fawkes (I've never understood why we celebrate attempted murder) and Christmas consumerism has taken over big time.

Dad used to say he wished Christmas was in the summer save struggling round in cold icy weather. Personally I think he has a point but me and OH are not daft. too many fall outs in family so we go to the chalet we always rent in Clarach Bay Borth on Christmas Eve. I am vegan but OH likes his crimbo dinner so its well equipped but before we leave I cook a turkey leg his favourite then cook the veg potatoes stuffing etc in the chalet on Christmas day, that is after on Christmas morning I go for a dip in the sea! we have a day just reading doing work on computer etc. there is a tv but we never watch tv dont own one.
highlight for us is Borth on Boxing Day when they have a dip in the sea raising money for charity RNLI its so funny to see them run to the sea some stay for a while some just run in and straight out again. after lots of them have bbqs on the beach a great day for all.
we usually come back just before New Years Eve which we do not celebrate