Bloody etiquette coaches! AIBU?

I have to say that I love William Hanson because I don't think he takes himself seriously and he and Jordan North man together are really funny.

I agree. I have not read any of these pieces but I share your pain.

My experience of people who are sticklers for good etiquette is that they constantly breach the rules of etiquette by pointing out and belittling people who don't know the rules.

I must be beyond the pale as I used to have orange, yellow and bright pink roses as well as red.

Some of what they say is commonsense and I guess it would be helpful if there was a book or something around just about common everyday manners (as they seem so uncommon).

The sort of "share communal food fairly, how much to bring to a communal supper, how to be a house guest, very basics like pavement walking etiquette, cover your mouth when sneezing, don't eat with mouth open, if someone does you a favour look for an opportunity to do one back, etc".

So at that sort of level it would be useful. It's superfluous to requirements to rate peoples tastes - as they are what they are...

I think you're supposed to eat asparagus in your fingers so that the butter drips all down your best clothes.

I use a knife and fork like more civilised people.

I must be beyond the pale as I used to have orange, yellow and bright pink roses as well as red.
We've got purple ones as well 💐

I don’t think we have much awareness of etiquette here. Only one difference I could think of is it is considered very rude to talk over someone else - unlike some of the talk show hosts on uk tv. They make me cringe and it just wouldn’t be acceptable .

I don’t think we have much awareness of etiquette here.
😂
Sorry to laugh! But I agree.

I thought this thread was about someone nicking your seat on a coach trip🤣

nanna8

I don’t think we have much awareness of etiquette here. Only one difference I could think of is it is considered very rude to talk over someone else - unlike some of the talk show hosts on uk tv. They make me cringe and it just wouldn’t be acceptable .

Crikey yeah - I used to have a male neighbour in previous house that was always visibly waiting to pounce and move in and talk when you were halfway through your sentence.

If someone is unwilling to let you have your "share" of holding the conversational baton then I think "What's the point of knowing them? - as I obviously don't rate as a person in their eyes".

I had no idea that my common roses were being sneered at by the posh ones.

These articles make me laugh. I certainly don’t take them seriously.
The late Queen peeling a banana with a knife and fork (because ‘we’re not monkeys) is one of my favourites.

Three cheers for the Daily Mail then.

Is that actually true merlotgran?

Maybe it would be useful to quote THE worst example we've seen of bad manners?

I hadnt even clicked that in my home city the conversational norm is you are NOT in a conversation that's going on even just 3' away from you - unless you really are in it. If you are in it you will have been "invited in" - and I guess that boils down to a direct invite, a smile in your direction and moving slightly to make room for you to come nearer, etc.

I didn't realise that - as I'm so used to that being how things are and operating accordingly - until I moved. Different rules apply and one adapts - but there have been one or two incidents of someone feeling free to "leap into" a conversation that is nothing to do with them/they're a complete stranger to you and you're some distance away from them (eg 8' or more away). So I follow the "local" rules on this when I'm here (ie that other people leap into my conversations and I leap into theirs and so it goes on and we all have a chat) - but there have been a couple of incidents of downright rudeness - eg where I was chatting to someone I am on friendly "pass the time of day" level with and a total stranger to both of us pounced on me and yelled at me about the totally factual observation I'd just made (no personal opinion given) and stormed/ranted/yelled a lot of obviously bad stuff at me (though I could only make out literally one word - as he was at "full rant mode") and then went off and complained about me!!!!!!!!! The local woman I'm friendly with that I was chatting to looked absolutely gobsmacked at him - so even she thought he'd gone a long way into Bad Manners Territory.

So there are regional differences too and a lot is "national behaviour" - but there are some variations...

I love William Hanson too kitty. I’m often surprised and pleased to see that I do most things he demonstrates correctly!

Surely lots of etiquette articles are just written for fun?

It's snobby rubbish and to be despised. I was taught that the essence of good manners was to ensure that other people felt comfortable and respected. My parents were working class, I doubt they had ever eaten asparagus, they certainly had roses of every hue in the garden and my father was a stickler for having a clean car but their manners were IMO "impeccable" but they would have been labelled as "common" by the likes of Money Coutts, not that they would ever have met that sort of person!

NotSpaghetti

Surely lots of etiquette articles are just written for fun?

Of course it is.

Sophie Money Coutts, from the banking family Coutts, says banking with Coutts is common. She says having a podcast is common. She has or at least had a podcast. She writes that flying first class is common. She has published articles saying she is obsessed with flying first class.

I'm obsessed with first class – it's so difficult to turn right when you’re used to the high life.

She’s just a hack selling filler nonsense to perceived up market publications including glossy magazines.

Take no notice or read another paper.

I do think it's a pity that many children today are not taught correct table manners and have no idea how to use cutlery when they start school.

Remind me not to fly first class again, I'd hate to be perceived as common! 😁

Allira

I do think it's a pity that many children today are not taught correct table manners and have no idea how to use cutlery when they start school.

Remind me not to fly first class again, I'd hate to be perceived as common! 😁

It’s not just children.

Many adults seem to have forgotten how to use cutlery.

Knife never used to cut food up, fork in the ‘wrong’ hand, (unless you’re left-handed), the food just pushed around the plate and sort of scooped up…..

On Coronation Street last night, (o.k. not the height of great etiquette), the family at the pub were eating a meal and Eva, the landlady, didn’t seem to know how to handle a knife and fork.

It was painful to watch.

🍴🥄🍽️

Do we honestly care about the ruminations of the self appointed as to what kind of flower we should have in our garden. Personally, I love roses so why would I give a stuff about what some other person thinks of them. I also eat my asparagus with cutlery and will continue to do so It's like those interminable "here are the most influential people we need to know about" in whatever the context may be, influential to whom? not the average person in the street. Such features, fill the pages, essentially nonsense, along the lines of "dogs that look like their well known owners"

Magenta8

I agree. I have not read any of these pieces but I share your pain.

My experience of people who are sticklers for good etiquette is that they constantly breach the rules of etiquette by pointing out and belittling people who don't know the rules.

I must be beyond the pale as I used to have orange, yellow and bright pink roses as well as red.

I noticed those on my last visit so had to cross you off my visiting list, am sorry but standards matter.🤭

TerriBull

Do we honestly care about the ruminations of the self appointed as to what kind of flower we should have in our garden. Personally, I love roses so why would I give a stuff about what some other person thinks of them. I also eat my asparagus with cutlery and will continue to do so It's like those interminable "here are the most influential people we need to know about" in whatever the context may be, influential to whom? not the average person in the street. Such features, fill the pages, essentially nonsense, along the lines of "dogs that look like their well known owners"

I like to eat buttery asparagus with my fingers 😲

I eat my peas with honey, I’ve done it all my life
It makes the peas taste funny, but keeps them on the knife.
Spike Milligan

Oreo do what you like in your own home, I doubt whether the "cutlery police" will be around anytime soon, although the way things are shaping up, I'd never say never!

Meanwhile over on the diffuser thread, you're quite right, we do need to turn our reeds a couple of times a week, this is fundamental advice that needs to be imparted to the diffuser user. So much so, it should be here on the etiquette thread. Mind you, for all we know they could be deemed by the people who are in the know about what's what not me for sure fall outside the parameters of good taste