Bloody etiquette coaches! AIBU?

There is nothing worse than watching people who cannot eat with chopsticks trying to eat a meal in a Chinese restaurant. At times it looks as if they are mocking the cuisine and those who present it. Simpler to ask quietly for a fork and spoon and eat cleanly and appreciatively using them

I never mastered the art of using chopsticks although I have been shown many times. DH is adept and can't understand it. I do try for a few morsels then resort to fork and possibly spoon.

An elderly resident at the care home where I volunteer whispered to me about a new resident, 'She's not PLU of course!' Luckily, I, obviously, am

Yep to foreign ideas on what's what re eating - but I'm blowed if I can use chopsticks and I'm not going to learn now 50 years after I stopped eating Chinese food. Also never learnt how to manage spaghetti neatly - so I just don't eat it whenever anyone else is around.

The one foreign thing I did pick up (from my first few boyfriends being Arabic and from an Arabic friend I had) was "I think shame on myself if a guest goes away from my table still hungry"....so I cater....and then I cater some more. Cue for one meal I'd asked two friends round for years back - they took one look at how much food I'd put on the table and one of them promptly asked me if she could invite a couple more people around - as I'd done so much. Cue for 5 of us eating that day.

Maremia

There is also a 'code' that you learn at finishing school.
(Don't worry, I saw this in a TV show.)
And it has to do with the angle at which you place your cutlery on the plate, to show if you have finished eating, so that the servants know if they should clear away your plate or not.

..and I don't know where I learnt that one. Cutlery together = I've finished/please take my plate. Cutlery at angles to each other = I'm still eating.

Also crumpled napkin on table = I've finished.

Never did learn if there's one for "Keep your flippin' hands OFF my food - you can't have it". You can tell I live in West Wales now, ie large hippy contingent and I had to learn to speak fast or wave a fork around with prongs near the relevant hand for one particular guy who would often be in "eating lunch out" group - as he would reach for the food/any amount of food he could from anyone's plate (ie in preference to spending any of his own money to get some more for himself). That's a question that wasn't covered anywhere.....(ie how to deal with grabby human gannets trying to help themselves to your food).

Son and girlfriend staying with us for a few days, ordered a Waggamama meal that came without chopsticks, ruined the meal for them allegedly . I couldn't help saying "that's a rubbish first world dilemma if you don't mind me saying" at least he responded with "you"re right it is!" I'm not very adept with chopsticks

Fish eaters were a Victorian middle class affectation.

They were deemed common by the aristocracy and banned from Royal palaces and households.

I use the cutlery that best facilitates my ability to eat in aclean and tidy manner.

There is nothing worse than watching people who cannot eat with chopsticks trying to eat a meal in a Chinese restaurant. At times it looks as if they are mocking the cuisine and those who present it. Simpler to ask quietly for a fork and spoon and eat cleanly and appreciatively using them.

Even in my own home it bothers me not what cutlery people use or how they use it. As long as they eat cleanly, and, as you say do not eat with their mouths open or talk with their mouthes full.

kittylester

Gawd, my phone is playing silly whatsits.

I was taught that cutlery at 25 minutes past on the plate signified that one had finished.

Yep, still do that automatically

Gawd, my phone is playing silly whatsits.

I was taught that cutlery at 25 minutes past on the plate signified that one had finished.

I was taught that cutlery atv25 minutes past signified kne had finished.

It was always my job to polish (then wash and polish dry) the cutlery - including the fish knives and forks which had ornate patterns on them. Thank heavens for stainless steel.

I seem to remember the task of "table laying" in Brownies towards some badge or other, I quite enjoyed that one, better than sock darning which got my mother to do thanks mum! who darns socks these days anyway chuck 'em out buy some nice new ones.

The language of cutlery, who would thought it could say so much 🤷‍♀️

I put my silver cutlery in the dishwasher.

We have a cutlery tray at the top not a basket on the bottom shelf.

It comes out fine, just a quick rub with a tea towel.

Maremia

There is also a 'code' that you learn at finishing school.
(Don't worry, I saw this in a TV show.)
And it has to do with the angle at which you place your cutlery on the plate, to show if you have finished eating, so that the servants know if they should clear away your plate or not.

Which angle, Maremia?

I thought placing the knife and fork together straight in front of you denoted you had finished.

Have I been displaying bad manners all these years?
Heaven forbid! 😲

Heaven forfend 😁

Even our youngest GC know all joints on the table will be carved

Our variation is "All joints on the table should be cooked" GrannyGravy13 😀

kittylester

I beleive silver cutlery is tainted by the taste of fish therefore fish cutlery was used.

And, of course, if one is using one's silver cutlery, do get the maid to wash it all in hot soapy water, then rinse and dry with a linen cloth after the butler has polished it to remove the tarnish.
One would hate for one's guests to find any residual silver polish on their forks.

Different metal?

believe - beyond the pale.

I beleive silver cutlery is tainted by the taste of fish therefore fish cutlery was used.

There is also a 'code' that you learn at finishing school.
(Don't worry, I saw this in a TV show.)
And it has to do with the angle at which you place your cutlery on the plate, to show if you have finished eating, so that the servants know if they should clear away your plate or not.

The best book (unofficially) on etiquette has to be "Class" by the late Jilly Cooper.

Who mentioned cutlery rules *M0nica^? Just my preferences.

We eat out a lot, we use the cutlery deemed correct for the cuisine of the restaurant, simples.

Her snobby comment would make you want to use fish knives.

GrannyGravy13

I am a favour of etiquette, especially when it comes to eating, drinking and table manners.

Even our youngest GC know all joints on the table will be carved and have been saying it since they were 4ye old. (Referring to elbows on the table)

Never start eating until all diners are at the table.

Using cutlery correctly isn’t rocket science, as for pasta, I was taught to use a spoon and fork as Italians do.

Chop Stocks with Chinese, Thai, Malaysian.

A fork and flat bread when eating anything from the Indian continent.

I cannot abide eating with an open mouth, or talking with a mouth full.

It is polite to hold doors open for others.

Etiquette is good in my book.

In this multi-cultural world, where accepted behaviour varies from country to country, etiquette is defunct. All we can do is behave with courtesy to others and try not to affront them

What cutlery you use and how you use it is a personal choice and constantly evolving. Anyone using fish cutlery in this country would be looked on with amazement these days. They used to be considered essential, they are not anymore. In France it is still usual in restaurants to give fish cutlery to anyone ordering fish.

While knowing not to eat with an open mouth or talking with your mouthful is simply an exercise of consideration for other people.

I am sorry GG13 I think the rest of your 'rules' on cutlery are examples of the worst kind of etiquette that is used to put down people who do not know them. As I said at the start, how you use cutlery to facilitate the eating of different food, is a personla choice, anything else is snobbery.