“Because the problem is the gravy”

I admit, the 'real' meaning of the post went completely over my head, and for that I do apologise. Having read it again, I get it now.

Don't forget that it is quite possible to weep because you no longer buy underpants while also laughing at the incrongruity of getting emotional over such a triviality.

We are complicated creatures.

Not sure, especially as this thread is in Chat, that folks are being insensitive. It would be crass if the OP was recently widowed, but she is talking about her neighbour (who is presumably not reading this thread), and musing…..

Sympathy (sincerely meant) to those who are on their own now, and encounter upsetting ‘triggering’ situations

Well, I still hold by my raspberry experience. The realisation that, as far as the supermarkets ( and the rest of society) we’re concerned, I didn’t fit in any more. Everything geared to families and couples, not sad, single people🙁

And yes I did find myself accidentally in the men’s department of M&S, and was overcome weeping over the underpants, because I would never be buying anything of that kind again.

Well I’m ducking now because I don’t go on the bereavement threads and took the OP on face value, it being on Chat and all…
Apologies for insensitive response x

So feel free everybody else to pass on helpful tips about leftovers or cooking for one if you must, but read OP’s post again- and spare a thought for the neighbour who is approaching the first anniversary of her husband’s death.
its not the gravy that’s the problem

Blimey!
Shots fired!

For me it’s the garden. It’s too big, I’m no gardener and I should downsize but am holding on as I’m in a (split level) bungalow. DH spent hours out there and although I have sporadic help, he’d hate to see it’s untidy aspect. He used to carry on gardening almost in the dark and I sometimes imagine I see him in the dusk.

Also after years of a house full of people raiding the fridge, I’m fed up checking dates on food items, afeared of wasting it.

I get the OP. For me it was the cutlery, it was always cleared from my draining board as if by magic. Now I need to clear up before bed, it was a shock when I realised that it was me who now needed to do it all

Exactly

I don’t get how posters have missed the point of this discussion.
It’s all about how silly things such as gravy can trigger a wave of grieving all over again.
It could have been anything, cutting the first rose of Summer, the memory of laughing at the dog doing its begging for food pose and so on.
A bereaved friend told me, that you just begin to think you can cope and you see or hear something that floors you.

theworriedwell

If the OP wanted a serious discussion about bereavement maybe it would have been better in bereavement. People deal with things in different ways and marriages vary.

..and marriages vary

Being widowed doesn’t though.

If the OP wanted a serious discussion about bereavement maybe it would have been better in bereavement. People deal with things in different ways and marriages vary.

Georgesgran

I think the point has been missed FGT and Rosie? 😢

And how Georgesgran !
This is not about handy ways to use/store up leftover gravy, or about BOGOF offers is it?
It’s about bereavement and how the most mundane things can trigger a tsunami of grief.
So feel free everybody else to pass on helpful tips about leftovers or cooking for one if you must, but read OP’s post again- and spare a thought for the neighbour who is approaching the first anniversary of her husband’s death.
its not the gravy that’s the problem

FriedGreenTomatoes2

It’s not the food.
It’s the husband.
😢

Thank you, somebody else gets it

I think the point has been missed FGT and Rosie? 😢

theworriedwell

Cabbie21

When I am going out early in the evening( I sing in choirs) I can eat properly at lunch time and suit myself with a snack when I come home, instead of needing to rush to provide a meal for two which I can’t really eat before I go out. That’s my positive.
On the other hand I do miss the plated-up meal waiting for me after a concert.
Gravy? Not a problem. I can eat enough gravy for two.

You aren't the lady in the coffee shop are you?

No.

It’s not the food.
It’s the husband.
😢

Cabbie21

When I am going out early in the evening( I sing in choirs) I can eat properly at lunch time and suit myself with a snack when I come home, instead of needing to rush to provide a meal for two which I can’t really eat before I go out. That’s my positive.
On the other hand I do miss the plated-up meal waiting for me after a concert.
Gravy? Not a problem. I can eat enough gravy for two.

You aren't the lady in the coffee shop are you?

When I am going out early in the evening( I sing in choirs) I can eat properly at lunch time and suit myself with a snack when I come home, instead of needing to rush to provide a meal for two which I can’t really eat before I go out. That’s my positive.
On the other hand I do miss the plated-up meal waiting for me after a concert.
Gravy? Not a problem. I can eat enough gravy for two.

I was once sitting in a coffee shop. The next table was ladies of 70ish. They spent ages commiserating with a lady who seemed to be recently widowed. She obviously got tired of it and said, "there are positives.". Her friends looked horrified and she said, "if I don't feel like cooking I have a boiled egg.". Silence and then A new topic of conversation.

I did like her style

Ooh raspberries 😋 I tend to buy BOGOFs and freeze one while leaving t’other out to nibble on as I pass through the kitchen…same with cherry tomatoes and blueberries.

These things are like sweets to me and obviously, incidentally, part of my 5 a day, no prep needed.

I always freeze leftovers if not making immediate use of them - little wasted here!

If I were alone after 65 years I'd be verklempt.

Cooking for myself would be daunting. I'd be caught out often.

For me it was the rip off of ‘Buy one, get one free”.

Actually I can’t eat two whole tubs of raspberries before they go off. So “Buy one, throw one away”? or “Buy one at inflated price that compensates for faux bargain BOGOF” or even buy, smaller single tub that is more expensive than two tubs?

Take your pick😬

I didn't think the "problem WAS the gravy" but adjusting to life without the neighbour's life partner

You could always make gravy and then freeze it in an ice cube tray. Once frozen, pop the cubes out and put them in a freezer bag, then you have ready made gravy whenever you fancy it.