“Because the problem is the gravy”

I keep leftover gravy in the fridge to use as a base for other sauces as I find it impossible to make gravy for one.
I always cook too much rice so have to freeze the surplus and it’s a good job I love homemade soup made from leftover vegetables.
Cooking for one is difficult when you had an OH with a healthy appetite!

It’s the little things which catch you unawares isn’t it?
DH was fascinated by Scottish History and I found myself buying a book on the Highland Clearances from Amazon!

Such a pathetic thing because with me it is frozen peas.
If I put what I think is enough for one in the pan it looks such a tiny amount so I add some more and end up with enough for a family.
This is after six and a half years.
These things do catch you out every time and are a constant reminder.

merlotgran

I keep leftover gravy in the fridge to use as a base for other sauces as I find it impossible to make gravy for one.
I always cook too much rice so have to freeze the surplus and it’s a good job I love homemade soup made from leftover vegetables.
Cooking for one is difficult when you had an OH with a healthy appetite!

Add several children with even healthier appetites (and hungry friends) who have now all left home and moved to the other end of the country.

Another problem is the people who marry your children (and take them to the other end of the country) but have a history behind them of a completely different cuisine from what you are used to cooking. Their spouses soon get used to them and adjust meals to suit, but when they visit you have to check "Does he like **?", "How abput ** ", "Do **s still give him the ick?"

Then there are all the grandchildren who have allergies to this that or the other, and seem to have acquired an extra set every time you see them.

Fortunately, I can leave all that to DD, Elegran as she only lives 10 minutes away and is the one with the big house!
I’ve downsized. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. 😂

You could always make gravy and then freeze it in an ice cube tray. Once frozen, pop the cubes out and put them in a freezer bag, then you have ready made gravy whenever you fancy it.

I didn't think the "problem WAS the gravy" but adjusting to life without the neighbour's life partner

For me it was the rip off of ‘Buy one, get one free”.

Actually I can’t eat two whole tubs of raspberries before they go off. So “Buy one, throw one away”? or “Buy one at inflated price that compensates for faux bargain BOGOF” or even buy, smaller single tub that is more expensive than two tubs?

Take your pick😬

If I were alone after 65 years I'd be verklempt.

Cooking for myself would be daunting. I'd be caught out often.

Ooh raspberries 😋 I tend to buy BOGOFs and freeze one while leaving t’other out to nibble on as I pass through the kitchen…same with cherry tomatoes and blueberries.

These things are like sweets to me and obviously, incidentally, part of my 5 a day, no prep needed.

I always freeze leftovers if not making immediate use of them - little wasted here!

I was once sitting in a coffee shop. The next table was ladies of 70ish. They spent ages commiserating with a lady who seemed to be recently widowed. She obviously got tired of it and said, "there are positives.". Her friends looked horrified and she said, "if I don't feel like cooking I have a boiled egg.". Silence and then A new topic of conversation.

I did like her style

When I am going out early in the evening( I sing in choirs) I can eat properly at lunch time and suit myself with a snack when I come home, instead of needing to rush to provide a meal for two which I can’t really eat before I go out. That’s my positive.
On the other hand I do miss the plated-up meal waiting for me after a concert.
Gravy? Not a problem. I can eat enough gravy for two.

Cabbie21

When I am going out early in the evening( I sing in choirs) I can eat properly at lunch time and suit myself with a snack when I come home, instead of needing to rush to provide a meal for two which I can’t really eat before I go out. That’s my positive.
On the other hand I do miss the plated-up meal waiting for me after a concert.
Gravy? Not a problem. I can eat enough gravy for two.

You aren't the lady in the coffee shop are you?

It’s not the food.
It’s the husband.
😢

theworriedwell

Cabbie21

When I am going out early in the evening( I sing in choirs) I can eat properly at lunch time and suit myself with a snack when I come home, instead of needing to rush to provide a meal for two which I can’t really eat before I go out. That’s my positive.
On the other hand I do miss the plated-up meal waiting for me after a concert.
Gravy? Not a problem. I can eat enough gravy for two.

You aren't the lady in the coffee shop are you?

No.

I think the point has been missed FGT and Rosie? 😢

FriedGreenTomatoes2

It’s not the food.
It’s the husband.
😢

Thank you, somebody else gets it

Georgesgran

I think the point has been missed FGT and Rosie? 😢

And how Georgesgran !
This is not about handy ways to use/store up leftover gravy, or about BOGOF offers is it?
It’s about bereavement and how the most mundane things can trigger a tsunami of grief.
So feel free everybody else to pass on helpful tips about leftovers or cooking for one if you must, but read OP’s post again- and spare a thought for the neighbour who is approaching the first anniversary of her husband’s death.
its not the gravy that’s the problem

If the OP wanted a serious discussion about bereavement maybe it would have been better in bereavement. People deal with things in different ways and marriages vary.

theworriedwell

If the OP wanted a serious discussion about bereavement maybe it would have been better in bereavement. People deal with things in different ways and marriages vary.

..and marriages vary

Being widowed doesn’t though.

I don’t get how posters have missed the point of this discussion.
It’s all about how silly things such as gravy can trigger a wave of grieving all over again.
It could have been anything, cutting the first rose of Summer, the memory of laughing at the dog doing its begging for food pose and so on.
A bereaved friend told me, that you just begin to think you can cope and you see or hear something that floors you.

Exactly

I get the OP. For me it was the cutlery, it was always cleared from my draining board as if by magic. Now I need to clear up before bed, it was a shock when I realised that it was me who now needed to do it all

For me it’s the garden. It’s too big, I’m no gardener and I should downsize but am holding on as I’m in a (split level) bungalow. DH spent hours out there and although I have sporadic help, he’d hate to see it’s untidy aspect. He used to carry on gardening almost in the dark and I sometimes imagine I see him in the dusk.

Also after years of a house full of people raiding the fridge, I’m fed up checking dates on food items, afeared of wasting it.