How were you disciplined as a child??

My father never laid a hand on me, and he never raised his voice either, but my mother hit me regularly, out of sheer frustration more than anything else, I suspect, for not being the child she wanted me to be and for just generally being there at all.

I never had any physical punishment anywhere, I think I was a fairly easy kid to raise, certainly not goody goody and I had my moments as a teen but no, never ever hit by anyone.
My Dad was a kind gentle soul my mum more firey but never ever hit or harmed me, My Nan and grandad played a big part in my upbringing as mum and dad worked long hours, but they were both kind, gentle people.
I feel really strongly for any child hurt in childhood
I never smacked any of my children and none of them have ever smacked my grandkids, thankfully
I hate the thought of it and my heart goes out to some of these answering with bad childhoods A hug from me.

I was never smacked by either Mum or Dad. I was the youngest of 4 and the only girl, so possibly a bit spoilt. I had a happy childhood.

Mum would give us rather feeble smacks if we were naughty. She had ‘cracks’ on her hands, too much time in water, and smacking us split them open and was painful (for her).

Dad smacked us only very occasionally if we were really naughty. On our legs, never our heads. He didn’t smack willy nilly like mum, he placed the smacks where it would hurt.

We knew if Dad smacked we had really misbehaved.

I think we deserved it.

They were good, loving parents.

I see nothing wrong with how we were brought up.

Look at nature. If a mother cat sees her kittens being naughty, she cuffs them.

Modern methods of bringing children up don’t seem to work that well.

Having said all this, I certainly don’t condone children being physically abused, but as with many things, there are different ways of doing things.

I wasn’t naughty but I remember my mum stamping her foot at me in frustration. That’s as far as discipline went .
Mum and dad were both softies.

My Father was very strict when I was between 5 and 15 , but that discipline also occurred in the workplace and in the RAF, plus also at school , there was a incident at school I remember at Secondary level,where 1/3 pint milk bottle tops where scattered over the playground , and the whole school was disciplined.
Mick

I feel so sorry for those of you who were physically abused by one or both parents. The very people who should have been keeping you safe.
My mother never disciplined me physically - but she certainly knew how to inflict the mental torture. I knew from a very early age that I was a huge disappointment to her, and it took me the best part of 40 years to realise that no matter what I achieved in life, I would never be good enough for her. Even now, I have little or no self-esteem.

My parents were two unhappy people trapped in an unhappy marriage whilst my sister and I did our best to avoid the constant rows. Dad bullied us because he failed to bully our mother and our mother's disappointment and anger pervaded every corner of our lives. They didn't need to beat us to keep us in order. Result was my sister married a controlling bully because it's what she knew and I married the first time to a much older man for security, thankfully life is much better now.

The word Dad instilled the fear of god but it was mum who mostly did the physical bearings. This would be either with dad's big leather belt or what was called the wooden copper stick. It depended on which was nearest to hand. Sometimes after a beating I'd be put in the coal house outside no matter how cold it might have been. I wasn't locked in but knew the consequences if I came out before being told I could.

I would have people to think my old dad was an abuser or a bully, back then he did what he thought was the correct thing to do, and only lightly smacked the back of my legs and these occasions occurred very rarely. Tbh he got more upset than either myself and my siblings. And he never shouted or swore at us and neither did my mum. I loved my dad dearly for very many things not least a love of walking and nature.

So very often it was those of us who had a 'difficult ' home life without consistent structure who would turn up for school without homework or kit. I remember being struck across the hands by our cookery teacher for not having my apron. The previous day on returning home from school I'd had to run to the phone box to call an ambulance for my Dad's suicide attempt.
So sad that school was not a place of refuge & support, hope that has changed now. Love to everyone else that has come through, we are stronger than we thought we could be

I wasn't smacked as a child. Mum suffered from what was called 'nerves' at that time, and Dad was either very rarely at home, or not interested when he was.

I was a well behaved child, probably because I was very shy but if I did misbehave my father expressing his disappointment was far more effective than physical punishment.

Our house was noisy a lot of the time because my parents argued mostly about money. We were never physically hit by mum or dad. I always answered back rather lippy with too much to say really. I was told I was brassy my punishment was being sent to my room.
Not being allowed to watch my favourite programmes. The Big Valley and The Fugative (I loved David Jansson) so that hit hard!
When we became working age we were constantly told to get out and get the money in. We were not encouraged to have ambition which was very unfair. It was typical at the time coming from a large family.

My mother was the disciplinarian in our house. Slapped legs for me or being sent to bed without any tea. My father used to sneak a snack upstairs for me.

My widowed mother never smacked, just expressed her disappointment that I had behaved badly. This was far more painful and as she was reasonable so was I. I only once smacked my two on the leg for squabbling and being horrid on a wet afternoon. My remorse was total and we all remember the occasion. I do understand the frustration that can lead to smacking (DS could annoy for England) but it doesn’t justify using physical power and perhaps teaches bullies to behave this way.

I was once cheeky to my mum and when I didn't get my own way I threw a tantrum. My dad was in the room and I thought he would side with me- but he picked me up, put me over his knee, and smacked my bottom.
He said never let me hear you being cheeky to your mum again, and I never was.
At school I got the ruler for talking in class but I was shocked more than hurt and it never stopped me talking in class.
A nun once hit me across the face for being cheeky (again) this was seen by the dinner ladies and I never saw that nun again.
To be physically beaten and repeatedly hurt by your own family must be a dreadful thing.
However, constant emotional abuse is just as bad if not worse and no one seems to care about that very much.

Clickityclick that’s so awful 💐
I had a very gentle, protected childhood. I think I rebelled a bit as a teenager, nothing terrible, but then made loads of mistakes in marriages and relationships, probably because I had, only had care and protection so hadn’t the experience.
My first marriage became abusive and then much later a relationship also , both had been beaten in childhood the first one by a grandmother, he had been sent to live with, as his mum couldn’t cope with seven kids, full time work and a wandering husband The second was the eldest of five and was made responsible for whatever the younger ones did wrong, he was tied to railings and beaten, can I understand his lashing out at me if I didn’t toe the line Yes I can, but I eventually left.

I was smacked across the bum occasionally and it was well deserved! I was a cheeky wee madam. Mum once slapped my face when I was 3. I don't remember it but she did and it haunted her. Apparently I was whining about something I wanted. She was pregnant with my brother who was breech and kicked her hard in the ribs so she lashed out. Dad rarely shouted at me, mum often did.
I was hit across the knuckles with a ruler at school. The teacher was a horrible woman regularly inflicted emotional cruelty on the class. She assumed i was cheating in a spelling test when I was thinking aloud. I never made that mistake again!

I agree Terri re the nuns. Mostly evil old witches. I knew school wouldn't go well as on my first day, aged 5, I was so scared I wet my pants. I was hauled in front of the class and the teacher (not a nun) said 'Look what this dirty little girl has done.'

Mum did the slapping but Dad was very effective at showing disappointment if we went too far.

When my elder brother was teasing me badly Mum gave me a wet tea towel and told me to flick it hard at his bare legs. It worked. Thanks, Mum!

ClicketyClick

The word Dad instilled the fear of god but it was mum who mostly did the physical bearings. This would be either with dad's big leather belt or what was called the wooden copper stick. It depended on which was nearest to hand. Sometimes after a beating I'd be put in the coal house outside no matter how cold it might have been. I wasn't locked in but knew the consequences if I came out before being told I could.

Oh dear, how terrible ClicketyClick. 💐

My mother had been a children's Nanny and she knew how to get you to 'jump to' and stop misbehaving just by the tone of her voice. As she always usually kind and cheerful it worked or she'd give me a job eg shelling peas outside in the summer or washing up to get me from 'under her feet'.
Dad used to just say "Don't upset your mother".

Kate1949

I agree Terri re the nuns. Mostly evil old witches. I knew school wouldn't go well as on my first day, aged 5, I was so scared I wet my pants. I was hauled in front of the class and the teacher (not a nun) said 'Look what this dirty little girl has done.'

What a horrible shaming way to treat a small child. So sorry to read about your unhappy time at home too, some of these experiences never leave us

I can remember being paralysed with fear with one particular nun who was teaching us long division and would lash out with the ruler if we didn't grasp the concept quickly enough, which just had the opposite effect. I thank God for my mum who painstakingly and patiently spent time with me at home going over it till I got it.

Yes they were a horrible lot, the nuns, and hugely damaging to many of the children who were subjected to their vitriol nothing holy about them as far as I remember.

I was a good child but frightened to stay at home because of my parent's mercurial tempers. It wasn't a happy marriage and I paid by being slapped across the face and head and sometimes over the side of a chair, knickers down and a leather strap applied with such force.

I was in Scotland, so the leather strap was applied to the palm of my hands. I rarely knew the reason.

I was delighted when I went to boarding school because the nuns were kind and fair. It was only holidays I was so apprehensive.

Because of my treatment into my late teens, I decided not to have children in case I ended up like them.

I was never allowed to have my own opinion, so was unable to reason or have a debate until well after I had left their clutches.

Oh dear, such dreadful stories!

I'm sorry so many of you suffered such abuse. 😥