How were you disciplined as a child??

We were hardly disciplined at all, but if we were very naughty Dad sat us down for a talk, and since we hated to disappoint him that was enough.Not that I remember us doing much wrong at all really😇😁
Often if it’s just high spirits with kids isn’t it?

I can only recall one incident of violence - that was my father slapping my face as a teenager one time when he caught me outside a dance hall with a boy.

Discipline was basically left to my mother and her definition of it was "The Look!" and I knew That Look meant I was in trouble. A "Silence" was used as a disciplinary tool basically.

I was/am pretty logical and so logic tended to kick in before I got in trouble and not afterwards. My father must have been away noticeably often (but my pretty non-existent childhood memory doesnt tell me) - because he was in the Armed Forces at that time - but he could be appealed to with logic - because he was also a pretty logical person.

If logic said I'd done nothing wrong - then I'd done nothing wrong. So that kept me fairly safe - despite a mother with a Celtic temper (yep...I remember dinnerplates being thrown across the room, ie my mother throwing them at my father - who just ducked out of the way). I think he probably didnt believe in using violence on his family - because he would have known all too well how much he might hurt someone (ie because of having, presumably, been trained into it in his initial job).

My parents didn't hit us very often, and never used things like belts or slippers. We were quite well behaved kids, but I do remember my mother losing it with me when I was 13 for getting a warning letter from school for not doing homework, and really slapping me for letting her and the school down. Otherwise the occasional slap for misbehaving until I was 15.

A very occasional smack, but my father in particular, basically a very jolly type, had a natural authority that meant it would hardly ever occur to us not to do as we were told.

When I read of children ‘refusing’ to do this or that, I do wonder what sort of discipline - if any! - they are used to. Who else remembers the utterly wet, useless parents on Supernanny, seemingly quite unable to enforce boundaries or any standards of behaviour?

I can remember at my first secondary school, the cane and plimsoll being used quite regularly. Boys could be hit by both genders of teachers with either implement, but only girls could be hit with a plimsoll by the deputy headmistress or another senior female teacher. Never bad enough for the cane, but four whacks of the plimsoll really hurt and probably stopped me moving on to the cane.
TBH, a lot of pupils saw it as an occupational hazard, some lads saw it as a badge of honour to be slippered and caned every week, and some teachers abused their position. Corporal punishment did work on some pupils and not others, who continued to break the rules and it wasn't a real deterrent.
I think when I changed school in the third form and detentions, letters home and grade reductions were used, this worked far better. You could keep quiet at home about being hit by a teacher, but an angry letter to your parents from the headmaster was a lot harder to avoid. It certainly bucked my ideas up and I decided to stick in.

So much of above child abuse.
I suffered it too: several beltings at school for trivia. I suffered PTSD which destroyed my education.

So much of above is child abuse.
I suffered it too: several beltings at school for trivia. I suffered PTSD which destroyed my education.

Some of these stories make me really sad. My dad never disciplined me, mum once slapped me when I was a teenager for answering back, but, apart from that, a good telling off was enough. Junior school, only the boys got the cane and at secondary school the same. Everyone was petrified of the teachers though and very rarely were naughty, unlike these days when a lot of children have no respect for anyone in authority. I can remember my dad saying that coppers gave you a clip round the ear and you dare not tell your dad or you would get another one!

There is a case locally of a teacher who was known for being sadistic and perverted finally getting the justice he deserved decades later. He's already served a sentence for his abuse, but far more cases have come to light, which means he might die in prison. I know he should have been chatged in the seventies and eighties, but I'm glad justice has been done.

My mother physically, mentally and emotionally abused me until I left home aged 18. Well she threw me out with no clothed because she found my secret stash of things I was buying so I could leave home secretly. I had to involve the police to get my belongings. She used to lock the door to me between 16 and 18. Luckily I had lovely friends whose parents let me stay with them until she had calmed down.

As a child I remember vividly how she washed my mouth out with soap for saying the word "bloody". She kept a thin cane in the garage to beat me across the legs and was always threatening to have me taken into care. Like others sent up to my room with no dinner for some slight disobedience. The worst was I must have been about 11 I locked my bedroom door as she chased me upstairs she had the most frightful temper so she got an axe and chopped through the lock.

I was an only child and she divorced my dad when I was 9. He was in the army so I hardly saw him.

At 12 I was sent to boarding school a convent with nuns. They were pretty cruel but at least they didn't hit me.

Then she remarried so stepfather and stepbrothers took the flak while I was at boarding school.

I met my lovely caring husband aged 21 and he stood up for me. I went no contact until I was 50. I did briefly meet up with her but she hadn't changed, fell out with me over some imagined slight and she died a lonely old woman having fallen out with her sisters and any friends she had.

Because of my upbringing I chose not to have children.

There was no childline back then and even though I mentioned some incidents to my teachers at primary school they didn't believe me one very kind teacher did speak to my mother at parents evening however my mother said I was telling stories and I got a belting when she came home.

Been therapeutic to write this. So many of us!

My mother died recently at the age of 104. The first memory I had of her hitting me was at the age of 3. Then laughing with the neighbour. I would take myself to my room and hide
She was a very angry person and jealous if anyone said nice things about me. I have had nightmares about her since she died. She had a lot of strength in her hands and she didn't care where she hit me - across the face, legs and bottom. She adored
my brother because he was perfect. Very sad really

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BRAVEBETH

My mother died recently at the age of 104. The first memory I had of her hitting me was at the age of 3. Then laughing with the neighbour. I would take myself to my room and hide
She was a very angry person and jealous if anyone said nice things about me. I have had nightmares about her since she died. She had a lot of strength in her hands and she didn't care where she hit me - across the face, legs and bottom. She adored
my brother because he was perfect. Very sad really

.

It was probably the generation she grew up in where her parents were the same and teachers were often cruel and feared. However, your mother does sound to me to have been OTT and clearly had issues.

My darling mother's favourite form of punishment to me was to throw me (literally) into the coal shed, lock the door, then shout out to me to watch out for the monster rats in there.

What terrible abuse some of you had. My own sister-in-law had been one of 12 (I didn't know her until she became my SIL 25 years ago) and they were all beaten by their parent. The dad used to use his belt.

My parents were so good, although poor. My mum died in 1995, Dad in 2000. I miss them, especially Mum, so much.

The stories about cruel mothers and teachers really shock me because our parents and reachers were strict but fair. When we did get a slap we deserved it then forgotten and moved on, at school the rules were strict and boys did get slippered for breaking them. The object of that was to get us to obey rules whether we liked them or not, I didnt resent it. Secondary school for me was enjoyable, teachers were mostly good, discipline was good, punishment dispensed by the deputy head.

I do sincerely hope that the accounts of childhood in these posts are not representative because they are mostly negative, I have so much sympathy for those that suffered

I too am sad that so many of you had unhappy childhoods but admire your strength in overcoming them. I just assumed growing up that all my friends were treated well although I know one who was abused by her parents. At a young age she had been left in charge of a younger sister who was badly burned when standing by an open fire. The parents blamed my friend and acted accordingly not one day but every day!

Goodness some horrifying stories here. I suppose I was lucky that the country to grew up in - 50’s and 60’s - had made corporal punishment in schools illegal. It was made illegal after WW1.

Love to each one of us that 'knows'. Hope everybody is now able to feel peace and contentment in themselves and find some joys and things to feel good about, it's so good to have each other here on GN isn't it?
Hugs to all of us

How horrid for you. 😔

Poppyred

I was slapped across the face by a teacher when I was 8 years old for something I did not do. She did it in the yard just after the final bell, I knew she didn’t like me…but still, I hope she is rotting in hell.

I know the feeling. I remember one horrible female teacher who loved to belittle me. When I heard she had died of cancer I didn't feel anything.