Jan Leeming said train your kids like dogs

Rosie51

You really equate dogs and children as being equal status, equal importance, equal in every respect? Does that apply to sheep, cows, goats and pigs as well or only domesticated subservient creatures?

How on earth do you take that from my post?

Tuliptree exactly.

Rosie51

You really equate dogs and children as being equal status, equal importance, equal in every respect? Does that apply to sheep, cows, goats and pigs as well or only domesticated subservient creatures?

You seem to have had a sense of humour bypass😂

You really equate dogs and children as being equal status, equal importance, equal in every respect? Does that apply to sheep, cows, goats and pigs as well or only domesticated subservient creatures?

What’s wrong with what Jan Leeming said? I love my dogs. I teach them basic manners and take them out with me whenever I can. I don’t need to shout at them, or tell them off and I reward good behaviour.

The only difference is that I can shut my dogs up alone in the kitchen if I want to go out and I believe it’s illegal to do that with children.

Allira

Whitewavemark2

Are we the only country in Europe that has this strange attitude about children?

They seem to be on a par with dogs if you look at the comments about dogs in restaurants thread. Much the same comments.

Do French children hurtle around restaurants, getting in the way and annoying everyone?

Or do they sit, chat and eat with their families?

Our children were small long before the ipad/mobile phone era, and whenever we took them out to eat, which, granted, wasn’t very often, we had no need to take books etc to ‘keep them quiet’, as we could talk to each other.
I remember being out to lunch with a friend who was most annoyed by a small child who came over to our table to chat. ‘Inconsiderate parents, who should respect other people’s privacy, etc,etc. ‘ A few days later she told us how her son had briefly gone missing on the beach, but had been with a nearby family! “ He just loves adult company!”, said she, beaming with pride.

Rosie51

I'm not good with accents, I can easily say someone on TV is Irish, Scottish, from Newcastle etc and be reliably informed by DH that they're the exact opposite. But then he can easily differentiate between Canadian and American accents, and Australian and New Zealand accents as well as other similar sounding ones. I do find it embarrassing when I have to repeatedly ask someone with a strong accent, whether regional or national, to repeat themselves because I haven't understood. I'd most likely have been in accord with your DH

This one was great but I think I'd struggle to have a conversation with him. It did pass the time though.

My least favourite to hung on trains is to be in a carriage full of sports fans. I e never quite worked out if it's worse when they are celebrating their success or drowning their sorrows but they can be very loud. Actually it's probably local derby matches that cause the most uproar.

fancyflowers

It's interesting that some posters feel the need to say how well behaved their children are / were when visiting a restaurant.

To be fair, you're never going to get posters saying how badly behaved their own children are / were.

I am perfectly happy to confess that our two youngest GC who are so called lockdown babies were extremely challenging when restaurants reopened and they were first taken out.

Their parents and us took them at quiet times, to restaurants where we knew the owners and/or staff.

We were loaded down with distraction activities, and if they were extremely distraught or naughty (due to unfamiliar surroundings and seeing other people) they were taken outside and calmed down.

They are now on the whole well behaved.

If any of our children and now grandchildren did/do play up we took/take them outside to cool off.

It's interesting that some posters feel the need to say how well behaved their children are / were when visiting a restaurant.

To be fair, you're never going to get posters saying how badly behaved their own children are / were.

I'm not good with accents, I can easily say someone on TV is Irish, Scottish, from Newcastle etc and be reliably informed by DH that they're the exact opposite. But then he can easily differentiate between Canadian and American accents, and Australian and New Zealand accents as well as other similar sounding ones. I do find it embarrassing when I have to repeatedly ask someone with a strong accent, whether regional or national, to repeat themselves because I haven't understood. I'd most likely have been in accord with your DH

Rosie51

The same as an adult badly behaved rescue dog? Perhaps Jan would like to take on the job.

Good plan. The only positive about it was trying to figure out what he was saying as he had such a strong accent (Scottish in this case but I'm sure it would work with others). It was like a brain training exercise.

My husband suddenly turned to me after about 30 minutes and said he'd suddenly realised the man wasn't speaking a foreign language.

The same as an adult badly behaved rescue dog? Perhaps Jan would like to take on the job.

90 minutes train journey yesterday. We went first class as easier with DHs disability. GS behaved beautifully. Not so much the man who spent an hour on his mobile talking very loudly. I think someone complained as we got an announcement about going into area between carriages if you wanted to make a phone call. He got the message.

So many badly behaved adults. What sort of training should they have?

Jan is definitely correct !

Sago

Our grandson as toddler fell asleep against the gentleman next to him on a plane, the lovely man held still for a good hour until he woke of his own accord!

It was a wise move, a tired toddler is not what you want next to you on a plane.

I wouldn't mind that. 🙂

I had a very large rugby player fall asleep on my shoulder once on a 7 hour flight. He was a very nice man but I'd never met him before.

Our grandson as toddler fell asleep against the gentleman next to him on a plane, the lovely man held still for a good hour until he woke of his own accord!

It was a wise move, a tired toddler is not what you want next to you on a plane.

nanna8

The worst is if you get one of these annoying kids behind you on a plane and they kick the back of your seat and screech for hours. Fine if the parents try to calm them down but many don’t do that.

I had one of those on a long flight once.
I turned to look but the parents were blissfully asleep, the child knew he was being annoying and smirked.

We were on holiday and the first week there were a few well behaved children playing in the pool. It was lovely watching them and when they came to the restaurant in the evenings, they were happy, well mannered families. The following week it was half term. Enter a group of 4 different families holidaying together. It was bedlam with the noise increasing massively with children running around, fighting and shrieking. Occasionally one father would try to quieten his children down but without cooperation from the other parents he was fighting a losing battle. Eventually, I started asking the children to play quietly...still the parents did nothing! All the guests were complaining but the parents were absolutely oblivious. I like children but I did ask the management to have a word.

Sago

20 years ago (ish) we were on a child free break during school term time on Majorca.
We were reading our books on our favourite secluded beach when a family came and plonked themselves beside us.

They were all wearing wristbands from a nearby all inclusive holiday club.

I bristled as did my husband, so judgemental!

The children approximately 10 and 12 played beautifully.
All was going well until the boy got a horrendous jellyfish sting.
He was in agony, I had cool blocks in a freezer bag so immediately went over with them and helped whilst the father went to a pharmacy.

The family left the beach for 30 minutes or so and then retuned with a gift for me and a handwritten note.

I felt dreadful for my initial reaction.

That's lovely, you have good memories and they will have lovely memories of the kind lady who helped them. Win win.

I don't disagree with Jan Leeming. It seems to me that all she was asking for, was parents to actually parent their children. My grandsons are 4 and 7 and have been going to restaurants since they were tiny. It was stressful at first but they learned how to behave in public. We went to children friendly places and gradually branched out. They now sit quietly, choose their meal, say thank you and behave at the table. No getting down and definitely no running around. Their parents taught them how to behave.

20 years ago (ish) we were on a child free break during school term time on Majorca.
We were reading our books on our favourite secluded beach when a family came and plonked themselves beside us.

They were all wearing wristbands from a nearby all inclusive holiday club.

I bristled as did my husband, so judgemental!

The children approximately 10 and 12 played beautifully.
All was going well until the boy got a horrendous jellyfish sting.
He was in agony, I had cool blocks in a freezer bag so immediately went over with them and helped whilst the father went to a pharmacy.

The family left the beach for 30 minutes or so and then retuned with a gift for me and a handwritten note.

I felt dreadful for my initial reaction.

The worst is if you get one of these annoying kids behind you on a plane and they kick the back of your seat and screech for hours. Fine if the parents try to calm them down but many don’t do that.

I did an observation on attitudes to children yesterday. Here is my report.

I take GC 2.5 years swimming every Tuesday and then we go to Costa, I have a coffee he has warm milk and we both have toast. The staff know us and I don't need to order, they just ask if we want the usual, I tap my card and they tell me to sit down and they will bring it over. That's our Tuesday morning and it's hard to say if Costa or swimming is his favourite.

So yesterday was normal routine, as I was getting a high chair for him I noticed two women, my sort of age so 70s giving me a hard stare. I sat down, order came, I could see one of the women but the other was behind me. The one I could see was saying something to the man with her and was sorting of gesturing towards us with her head and seemed a bit agitated. She gave up with him and glared at us. GS meanwhile happily munching through his big slice of brown toast smothered with butter they always give him extra butter. Manager came over to say hello to GS. Another glare from woman but the main focus taken off us when a young couple came in with an even younger little one. He was also quiet and beautifully behaved. Woman starts gesturing and talking to her companion.

They left before us, she marched past us with her nose in the air like we were a bad smell. As the man passed us he gave me a smile. I felt sorry for him.

So my study revealed two beautifully behaved young children and a soured faced old woman. Oh I forgot there was her sad looking partner. I find this isn't unusual as I find men generally more friendly and helpful when I'm out with little one. I've never had a woman offer to help if I'm getting child, buggy and bags onto a train but I almost always get offered help by men.

I wonder if that woman has moaned about how her coffee was ruined by the children.

Why was there a backlash. She’s right just don’t take it to extremes.

Not prejudiced against childless women then, shysal!!

What difference does Jan Leeming's having children or not make to the validity of her comments about badly behaved kids?

Try reading the opening link or Google her. Pointless asking who she is after 5 pages of posts