Emotional?

Oh Romola!

In earlier life, I hardly ever cried. I was a secondary school teacher and you just have to be tough. I tried to be like Emily the engine, one of Thomas's friends: "clever, cheerful, competent", including with my own family.
That's still the face I show the world. But actually I cry even day now, grieving for my DH and with health issues.

sharon103
Thank you. That's very kind.

M0nica - I am a weeper (as I said) but I don't seem to do it in an emergency.

I think I was built for emergencies - I'm generally good at them!

M0nica

I do not think that tears are a measure of someones emotion. Yes, emotional events can cause them and not crying does not ea you do not feel things.

I cannot remember when I last had a good cry. Possible around 2008. Even when the dearest of dear friends died suddenly 4 years ago. I welled up, but did not cry, but my emotions were in shreds. I went numb with grief.

In fact I suspect I go numb where others cry. Any emergency, health, domestic, family. I am dry eyed calm, numb and dealing with the problem. There is no deep childhood reason why I do not cry, beyond my real irritation with people who make bad situations worse - and that so often involes crying when what is needed is immediate action. I am not of course including those crying through grief, frustration because nothing can be done and the like

I know that one - ie going numb in emergencies.

It's very useful too all round. Imo it means if an emergency crops up suddenly I turn into a human "robot" and my brain just starts reeling out instructions as to what to do and I follow the instructions and then, once things are as sorted as they can be, heave of sigh of relief and the emotions turn on again.

Again - that was partly down to the deliberate bad treatment by that employer. But it happens when other people have a problem too - ie collapse ill in front of me unexpectedly and Robot Brain turns on until it's been dealt with appropriately. eg I've seen someone panic and run when a work colleague keeled over ill unexpectedly - and I just turned into that "robot" and dealt with it until I'd safely seen her in "medical hands" taking over from me. Someone even commented just how calm and collected I'd been and seemed to know what to do - they didnt notice me sitting there feeling shaky once I'd safely passed that colleague over to medical hands to take over from me....

I do not think that tears are a measure of someones emotion. Yes, emotional events can cause them and not crying does not ea you do not feel things.

I cannot remember when I last had a good cry. Possible around 2008. Even when the dearest of dear friends died suddenly 4 years ago. I welled up, but did not cry, but my emotions were in shreds. I went numb with grief.

In fact I suspect I go numb where others cry. Any emergency, health, domestic, family. I am dry eyed calm, numb and dealing with the problem. There is no deep childhood reason why I do not cry, beyond my real irritation with people who make bad situations worse - and that so often involes crying when what is needed is immediate action. I am not of course including those crying through grief, frustration because nothing can be done and the like

dogsmother

I’d love to know what makes me a non- cryer? Sometimes a few tears might slip out or my eyes may well a bit, but this has been so very rare. I’m more likely to go quiet and thoughtful than actually cry. I think always been the same.

I'm pretty sure my lack of emotion - crying in particular - is all down to my mother. I wasn't allowed to cry as a child - she'd make my life a misery if I did. She even gave me hell on the day of my dad's funeral because apparently I 'made a show of her' by crying at the crematorium.

I am not at all bothered about being a "weeper" as I can weep with laughter too.

Like Coconut people see me as a "strong" person (though I don't always feel that) - and I suppose my openness to tears does make me a good shoulder to cry on... no judgement from me!

I do feel other's pain quite acutely and weep with frustration (and anger).

I think we should each just accept the way we are made.

I do warn "professional" people who don't know me well - that i might weep when i explain the problem to them - mostly they see me weep and that i quickly recover.
Occasionally, like a nurse once when told "I'm feeling sorry for myself today so I will probably weep when I tell you... but please be assured I'm actually ok" they don't "get" it.
The nurse referred me to the doctor and i had a phone call offering "support".

I suppose it may help people if weeping is unusual for them so I can't be irritated really. I was irritated though - because I'd warned her.

Primrose I'm the same as you. Traumatic childhood, having all my teeth removed at 11, losing my brother to suicide, being at my nephew's bedside as he died of cancer, watching his mother have a fit as he died, losing all my hair, husband's cancer (thankfully in remission), husband blue lighted to AE last year and DH and me finding a man dead in the street a while back.

My daughter was surprised when we went to see The Lion King that I didn't cry. I couldn't cry over people dressed as animals.

I’d love to know what makes me a non- cryer? Sometimes a few tears might slip out or my eyes may well a bit, but this has been so very rare. I’m more likely to go quiet and thoughtful than actually cry. I think always been the same.

I actually can’t cry any more. This last year has been so awful with my husband having a major, life changing stroke and now being in a wheelchair most of the time.
My son being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and my husband and I literally crying our eyes out for weeks every time he went out. We tried not to cry in front of him. Then our elderly horse being put to sleep. It has been a s* year.
I am all cried out. Just can’t do it now.

I have always cried at end of films if we go to cinema.Even toy story because i really wanted big baby to get his mummy back😢My kids& grandkids think its hilarious😅

It is why we are the primary target of the charity fundraisers.

I was horrified when I was sorting out MILs home about the literally tons of begging and thank you letters from charities that kept coming. She moved and downsized, and I could not understand why her bank account was fairly low until I saw this.
My mother was paying regularly too to 3 or 4 until I stopped her because she could not afford it.

I cry easily too. I don't think it's because I'm depressed, I think it's more about losing loved ones, old haunts have changed, children have grown up and being nearer to the end than the beginning.

One of my friends when she was alive would cry at the drop of a hat.

Always have been a weeper and always will be, happy or sad, my tears have fallen most days, it’s a family joke ! My 3 AC and 5 GC write such lovely words in my cards, and off I go. A long time friend said that she’s never known a woman who cries as much as me, but equally, she’s never known a woman as strong as me ! I’ve been annoyed with myself, embarrassed etc but I just can’t help it ! Interestingly my parents and siblings are all the total opposite, totally unemotional.

Yes I do too and I was never an emotional person.....not hard but did not cry easily...typical Brit!.

Nanny27

I am recovering from quite a serious operation on my leg and can't walk or do very much at all for myself. I often find that by the time dh puts me to bed at night I wait until he has gone back downstairs to lock up I lie there and cry like a baby. I hate the helplessness and feel utterly exhausted with it all. I also dislike myself for dissolving into tears like that.

Wishing you a speedy recovery Nanny27
Better days will come

I have become incredibly soft hearted. Cant kill spiders and worry about re-locating them outside in case they get cold (!), rescue ladybirds, get really upset if I see dead wildlife on the road, spoil the cat, I even think twice about swatting flies. Not quite so sentimental about people, but I cant watch anything violent or sad on TV, which means no news programmes and a limited selection of films and drama. I used to be a tough cookie when I was younger.

Yes, I do that was why my Daughter and I fell out, I've always been emotional but more so as I have aged. My Daughter on the other hand was so together emotion was'nt allowed in. Now that I can let it out I feel so much better and this is one of the benifits of living on ones own.

I’m the opposite. Used to cry very easily but rarely nowadays. I think being on anti depressants has numbed my emotions.

I was always a happy sentimental crier if that makes sense? Watching DGC nativity, listening to Christmas carol concerts, that type of thing. Now cry very easily and also feel much more vulnerable because of it. Mixture of getting older, wiser and the stuff life seems to throw at you I think.

I am like this but was diagnosed with SAD some years back and this awful wet, dreary weather has brought it on 10 fold! My OH had a meeting away for few days and I spent it feeling close to tears the whole time. I struggled to sleep, cried several times over nothing in particular and when I did sleep woke feeling bereft for mo reason. Took several days after his return and a couple sessions on a sun bed with red light to make me feel "me" again. Can't put it down to menopause because am well past that but my poor OH bore the brunt of it when he got home🫣 Good job he loves me 😳

Absolutely. The least little thing will set me off. I've lost count of how many times I've cried myself to sleep over a silly argument.

I am recovering from quite a serious operation on my leg and can't walk or do very much at all for myself. I often find that by the time dh puts me to bed at night I wait until he has gone back downstairs to lock up I lie there and cry like a baby. I hate the helplessness and feel utterly exhausted with it all. I also dislike myself for dissolving into tears like that.