Talking or listening tire you more?

I have a friend who never shuts up. She is a lovely lady with a good heart and mostly I just smile and listen. It is quite tiring, though. She is a bit deaf so she tends to shout but I think she is also a bit lonely and so I make allowances.

Listening to someone who never stops and listens to me is tiring and exasperating. These are the type of people who drain you when what you want in your life is a radiator who brings warmth into your world.

I have a very close relative who visits me on a Tuesday afternoon for four hours and talks non stop from when he comes in until the minute he goes out. I have to interrupt to get a word in.
In a phone call it takes him over half an hour to say what I could have said in five minutes.
He does have anxiety and lives alone so i guess that's why but he keeps repeating the same things over and over.
I feel drained for the rest of the day.

One friend can talk non stop she could talk a glass eye to sleep . Another friend talks about herself , no matter what anyone has , she turns the conversation back to herself , should I try to say a sentence , after the first few words I'm shut down to listen once again to me me me . I don't see them often nowadays . Both are exhausting .

BrandyGran

I find listening to someone who never stops talking and I have to show full attention, the most tiring thing. I come away exhausted for hours afterwards.
Anyone agree or does talking tire you more or do you never feel tired after an outing with a friend?

Same as you, listening, or even making a pretence of listening to someone who barely draws breath is for me, not only exhausting but can make me physically nauseous.

sharon103

I have a very close relative who visits me on a Tuesday afternoon for four hours and talks non stop from when he comes in until the minute he goes out. I have to interrupt to get a word in.
In a phone call it takes him over half an hour to say what I could have said in five minutes.
He does have anxiety and lives alone so i guess that's why but he keeps repeating the same things over and over.
I feel drained for the rest of the day.

Your good deed for the week.He probably goes away feeling charged up and happy.

To be honest. I find that most people I know talk A LOT!
I'm quite a quiet softly spoken person though I do like to have my say but I find it very difficult to get a word in sometimes. I think people use me as a sounding board and I often get to hear the same tales all over again.
My dad was the quiet one with sisters and my mum was the youngest and quietest of 5 sisters so maybe I take after both!
Sometimes I come off the phone and feel really peeved that I've hardly got a word in - and exhausted just listening to monologues!
A couple of people I know are a bit deaf on one side and I swear that sometimes they use it to their advantage and ignore me if I try to chip in.

I’m just like you Younger. I find listening to chatterboxes exhausting. Equally I find talking tiring. This is why I can’t face more than about 2 hours with anyone.

Gran22boys I feel totally the same.
The question is “What can we do about it”?
After I have got to about my 3 rd word I’m talked over !
2 hrs is my absolute limit too so I get up and gather my things together and say Goodbye. Go home exhausted!

I find socialising tiring, because you have to be "on" - whether listening or talking.

When I've had a run of social engagements, or guests, and everyone leaves and I'm home with only OH, I tell him "I don't want anyone to talk to me or talk to anyone for at least 2 days" 😅. I definitely need time to recharge.

Oreo

sharon103

I have a very close relative who visits me on a Tuesday afternoon for four hours and talks non stop from when he comes in until the minute he goes out. I have to interrupt to get a word in.
In a phone call it takes him over half an hour to say what I could have said in five minutes.
He does have anxiety and lives alone so i guess that's why but he keeps repeating the same things over and over.
I feel drained for the rest of the day.

Your good deed for the week.He probably goes away feeling charged up and happy.

I'm sure he does Oreo. I hadn't ought to moan had I.
It's my coming up for 80 year old brother.
My son takes me after shopping on a Friday evening as well for an hour our more.
Think of me on Tuesday afternoons
I'm everyone's Agony Aunt by the way.

I have a friend who never stops talking. A while ago I dozed off while she was on the phone. I heard a loud voice ‘are you still there. I came to and her comment was ‘I must have a very soothing voice as X often nods of when I am talking on the phone

I thought it was just me feeling tired after meeting up with friends and talking and listening to.

It’s absolutely exhausting and I’m glad it’s not just me.
Especially when it’s one particular person doing all the talking.

My mouth and throat gets very dry.
When I get home I usually have to have a lie down.

Oh to meet people who are interested in two-sided conversations instead of their monologues...or people who will actually listen to respond rather than listen just to talk about themselves again.! Doesn't seem to matter if it's old friends or new acquaintances, it is so hard to find people who are good conversationalists. My other beef is when we are with other couples, either the man or woman breaks off from the general conversation to speak to just one of us. For heaven's sake, there are only 4 people here, can't we all listen and participate in a group discussion! So often I find that unless I say something in a quick "sound bite" I am interrupted and get so tired of saying..."I wasn't finished yet..."

I have a friend who talks constantly repeating and repeating the gossip she has told me often. Luckily she is too busy to see me much!

A friend who loved to talk about herself and rarely took time to ask about me or my family rang to talk one day , she went straight in and didn't stop for breath, suddenly my battery died , I took phone into kitchen and found a knife in drawer , fiddled with the battery's and eventually popped them out , fiddled with a new pack of battery's and eventually managed to pop 2 new ones into the socket , closed on the lid then redialled friends number to apologise, strangely the phone connected straight into our call and friend was still talking and hadn't even realised I'd been absent from the call for a good 5 minutes . I didn't bother to tell her because I couldn't interrupt to tell her . She didn't know . So funny

I find it much more tiring when you are with a friend who never starts a conversation and hardly ever has anything to say. You have to do all the talking. If you don't you sit there and there is an awkward silence. The only thing this friend will possibly talk about is her ex who died 8 years ago and I have heard the same stories over and over again. She will come to visit and not leave until I ask her to sometimes after 8 hours. She loves company and hates to be on her own, now that is exhausting. Two hours at the time would be a breeze.

Why oh why do people not let me finish what I’m saying??

Brandygran that is something I wish I knew the answer to. I have the same problem, I’ve hardly got 3 words out and I’m interrupted.

Is it because some people think of something they want to say and are afraid they will forget what it was if they don’t say it straight away? Or maybe they are not interested in the subject and want to change it? One of my friends jumps from one subject to another without drawing breath, which is difficult to follow and very exhausting.

My reaction is to let them talk as otherwise I have to raise my voice to be heard and end up with a croaky voice for the rest of the day and a headache!

Someone else I sometimes go walking with talks non stop, apologises for talking so much and then continues without a break for the next 2 hours, and blames it on the fact she lives on her own, so she must be aware of what she is doing.

Sharon103 😬😃
I will think of you on Tuesdays.If I have a problem I will def call you to rant about it 😁

As i mentioned a couple of days ago, I'm at present laid up in plaster. Oh my goodness, lovely as it is to have visitors I'm everybody's sounding board. Some of my friends are wonderful, genuinely want to know how I'm doing and we can happily while away an hour or two chatting. The other sort however arrive, talk at me without drawing breath and I have no option to see them out or get up and do anything but sit there. One talked for over 3 hours the other day and only finally left (promising to come again soon) when I feigned sleep.

GrannaKaye

Oh to meet people who are interested in two-sided conversations instead of their monologues...or people who will actually listen to respond rather than listen just to talk about themselves again.! Doesn't seem to matter if it's old friends or new acquaintances, it is so hard to find people who are good conversationalists. My other beef is when we are with other couples, either the man or woman breaks off from the general conversation to speak to just one of us. For heaven's sake, there are only 4 people here, can't we all listen and participate in a group discussion! So often I find that unless I say something in a quick "sound bite" I am interrupted and get so tired of saying..."I wasn't finished yet..."

Oh for a good conversation! I do have a very good friend who I can have a good conversation with, and we do speak on the phone several times a week.

With others it is much harder work, especially when they don't stop and you have to interrupt because otherwise you want to kill them!

I miss having someone at home I can talk to as well- I get nostalgic for it, especially in an evening...

A young family member she is 21 was at a family gathering politely said her social battery was drained!
I find that now works for me!
I’d never heard that phrase before and people just really accept it without question.
So far other person hasn’t been offended as it’s about you.

Gwyllt

I have a friend who never stops talking. A while ago I dozed off while she was on the phone. I heard a loud voice ‘are you still there. I came to and her comment was ‘I must have a very soothing voice as X often nods of when I am talking on the phone

I once fell asleep when a friend was talking nonstop on the phone. My daughter woke me. This friend is staying with me at the moment and is a lovely, kind person but hardly draws breath and it is all me, me, me. I get told about distant relatives whom I have never met and other friends, again people I don't know. Because this lady was born with a cleft palate, she has unclear speech as well. I find it exhausting, especially as I have a significant hearing loss and have to strain to listen. I get hearing fatigue at the end of most days in general.

O yes, absolutely, exhausting, especially if one is required to actually look at the person rabbitting away non stop, when I can feel my eyes beginning to cross with the strain.

Is there a word for someone who, no matter the subject, when one is describing something, the other person interrupts to make it all about them, repeatedly, always in fact, hijacking what could be and designed to be a meaningful conversation?
Apart from ‘sister’

Outings are also tiring with someone who never stops, when the gush is relentless, when every sentence begins with ‘I’ and especially when one has heard it all before (many times) often regarding people I have never met nor likely to and have no interest in.
I now arrange to meet rather than be picked up and dropped off when the driver than wants to come in for a wee, then on the return, same, then requests a cup of tea etc., so my front door is no dividing line or sanctuary, leaving me feeling limp and wrung out when they finally leave.

Greciangirl, your last line caused me to laugh out loud.

Not having a landline, which I know is the subject of another thread, is much easier for me, as with a mobile I encourage texting, this means a lengthy conversation is often precised.

I disabled my voicemail too, omy goodness what a relief that was!

The only realistic solution is avoidance.