Upset friend talking about Broadband Deal

Her choice..not your fault! I do same as you! She has to do something about it herself or keep quiet. She's only herself to blame as sge can't be bothered.....

I have always negotiated deals for tv and broadband, tedious but necessary. I try to build up some type of rapport with the operator. I am always polite but firm about what I want and never answer the question about how much I will pay (as little as possible) I have always come away feeling I have had the best deal I could obtain. I do get emails telling me if new cheaper deals are available. I get cross when deals are only for new customers. What about loyalty?.

butterandjam

"she couldn’t be bothered with all that and asked could I stop talking about it now as “I’d” got her anxiety sky high. "

That's not "anxiety", its more akin to gaslighting, or coervive control.

I’m now upset as telling her has given her anxiety and I also don’t like how she told me to stop talking as “I” was giving her anxiety.

Trust your gut. You did not do anything wrong; you're not guilty. You can't fix people like her, so don't waste your breath.

You definitely did nothing wrong and I think your friend was rude!

Loyalty should pay, not cost you more!

I agree. Unless you happen to be someone who enjoys haggling (and I would wager that most don’t), it’s become an annual chore to have to shop around for car insurance, home insurance, broadband and landline if you want one and mobile phone. Fortunately, I have found a car insurer, home insurer and mobile phone provider (SIM only) who seem to value loyalty, who for the last three years have kept their prices low and come out best or near enough best for me on price comparison. It’s great relief to see that and to just be able to accept the renewal quote.

Perhaps some companies are starting to realise that the administrative costs of annual chopping and changing is not actually cost-effective, that the new business attracted and the old business lost cancel one another out. These businesses all have access to shared databases, can see what customers are doing; can see who chops and changes annually and is unlikely to stay for more than twelve months. Yes, some companies do penalise those who remain loyal, Direct Line are bad for that in my experience, so customers do need to be aware but I do think that things may be changing.

I’m kind of amused, in a puzzled sort of way, by the thought of meeting up with a friend and the conversation is about contracts and and how much people are paying for stuff, in that kind of detail.

But tell me I’m wrong if it’s actually quite common.

Are you sure she said she was anxious - not bored🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m with *Newgran. Having apparently discovered that you have the better energy deal it wouldn’t have been easy for her to hear of your broadband success, so yes to that extent you were making her anxious. Of course the exasperating need to haggle every year isn’t your fault

Oldnproud

The thing is, we shouldn't really have to 'barter' with our suppliers every year (or whatever the contract is for), should we! Loyalty should pay, not cost you more!
IMO, there is sadly something very wrong with the way these things now work. Small differences are one thing, but we are not talking about small differences..

Exactly. It puts pressure on people which simply shouldn’t be necessary. As has been said, not everyone is comfortable with having to ‘barter’.

The thing is, we shouldn't really have to 'barter' with our suppliers every year (or whatever the contract is for), should we! Loyalty should pay, not cost you more!
IMO, there is sadly something very wrong with the way these things now work. Small differences are one thing, but we are not talking about small differences..

Missdeke. Another vote for Octopus. Price are good and they offer all that I want, including not forcing me to have a smart meter. (I love tech but I don’t want a SMET until all the technical issues are sorted out. Far too many don’t work.) No exit fees for fixed contracts. They let the customer control where they set their payments. The generous “refer a friend” shared bonus. An easy to use app and helpful staff if ever one does need to call them. CEO Greg Jackson makes himself very accessible to customers. Which other energy CEO does that? Octopus were the first company to confirm that the April reductions due to removal of green levies and a rejigging of how the Warm Home Discount will be funded would also be passed on to those on fixed contracts.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/2025/12/octopus-energy-autumn-budget-savings-fixes/

MSE’s Cheap Energy Club shows I could get a slightly cheaper rate with a couple of other providers but they all apply exit fees on fixes and insist on a smart meter or other things e.g. boiler cover which I don’t need.

Newgran59. I agree with you. I may be wrong but this came across as bragging, not unlike banging on to a friend who struggles with her weight no matter what she tries about how much weight you’ve managed to lose.

While I applaud all the work Martin Lewis does and the very useful information on his website, the constant urging to save money and make money can feel like too much pressure. One can easily end up feeling anxious about it all.

Telling people to switch banks repeatedly to earn a cash incentive really grates on me. I watched one of his programmes where he was asking who has made the most on this. One woman said she’d made £1,600 or £1,700 to date just by switching her bank on a regular basis like some kind of hobby. These incentives are not available to everyone as they usually require a minimum initial deposit and a minimum sum to be paid in each month. I think it can result in alienating existing, loyal customers who don’t get these incentives. They end up fed up with it all and feeling they have to move on, and so the whole circus continues.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong. With the information you have given your friend, she could have gone back to her suppliers to re-negotiate or at least negotiated on the next renewal. She has chosen to bury her head in the sand. You have no responsibility for her anxiety. It would have been different if you were trying to get her to do the same as you but just telling her what you pay is not a bad thing to do.

I always haggle each year. It’s a pain , but the savings are well worth the effort. I do get grumpy for a few minutes when friends manage to haggle a better deal than me, but once that passes I am genuinely very pleased for them (and resolve to get a better one myself next time )
@missdeke I left Talk Talk recently after many years, for the same reason as you, and I told them why. Then they tried to haggle with me! 🤣 I got a very similar priced, faster deal with a local firm that has outstanding customer service, it’s so different. I moved to Octopus as recommended via a comparison site but used a friend link (got £50 credit on both our bills!) and have had amazing service from them too.

My goodness, I am amazed at the hard hearted responses in the face of an anxious person's feelings.
We are not all skilled negotiators; the annual trauma of searching for better deals on essential services and utilities is awful.
Absolutely, share your experiences but be mindfull of how the recipient is taking it, and understand how this costs people quite large sums of money, another source of anxiety.

Afte suffering the appalling Customer Service from Talktalk, they were always the cheapest offer, I moved to Plusnet. I really don't care any longer whether they are cheap or not and currently have no intention of moving away from them. The Customer Service is exemplary, it saves my sanity, my frustration and anxiety, sometimes cheapest is not best. Similarly for my electricity, I moved to Octopus purely because the Customer Service is so good.

Why be upset…..I doubt she even realised how she was saying it if she suffers from anxiety. I would forgive her, show some compassion and know that similar topics are best avoided in the future!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

"she couldn’t be bothered with all that and asked could I stop talking about it now as “I’d” got her anxiety sky high. "

That's not "anxiety", its more akin to gaslighting, or coervive control.

I’m now upset as telling her has given her anxiety and I also don’t like how she told me to stop talking as “I” was giving her anxiety.

Trust your gut. You did not do anything wrong; you're not guilty. You can't fix people like her, so don't waste your breath.

I always look for cheaper deals before our broadband payments go up at the end of a deal. I thought that most people do this.
Your friend is anxious because she doesn’t do this but that is not your responsibility.
Don’t feel bad about it, you were only passing on useful info, I imagine she would feel the same watching Martin Lewis and his money programme but she can’t blame Lewis for that.
That’s life.

I do much the same, the fact that companies have to compete means that you can get a reduced quote if you bother to, if you don’t bother you pay more for the same thing.

Tenko 👍🏻

I always do my research before accepting a renewal or a quote and call the company to try to get it cheaper . I have several friends who do the same and we tell each other about it.
Your friend may not have the confidence to call and try to get a deal or may struggle with understanding the other person . However you’re not responsible for her anxiety.

Yes but it’s apples and pears.

People want different things from broadband/phone packages, heat their homes differently, have more or fewer appliances, chose to pay in different ways.

Mixit is just Virgin Media’s entry level package. While your friend seems to be paying a lot (PAYG phone calls maybe), the deal you’ve got isn’t that great.

Nor is what you are paying to fuel your house. It sounds like you are on a variable tariff. These are more expensive than fixed contracts.

Yes, people are often paying more than they need to for all these things. Saying they can’t be bothered might not be the real reason. I know several people who don’t like change, are happy with a company which gives them good customer service rather than risk changing to one which might not (or might be gone tomorrow in the case of the smaller energy suppliers). They might struggle on the phone with fast-talking customer advisers and find all the jargon confusing. It can be frustrating knowing that friends might be paying too much and won’t accept assistance when offered help to find a better deal but it’s their business.

Think about it another way, The only reason you think you have a good deal is because companies are forced constantly to compete. They are not doing you a personal favour. Getting what you think is a good deal might be just a question of timing. If we were all buying from monopolies for broadband, energy, insurance etc they would be able to charge more than they do.

I never accept a renewal invitation without trying to better it. It is bitterly unfair that the utility suppliers have such leeway to tweak prices and packages for those sufficiently persistent and resolute to challenge them. If only they would simply charge a reasonable price to begin with.

Imagine if we could do the same to reduce our Council Tax and water bills!

It’s not your fault your friend was upset to realise she is being ripped off. Hopefully she will be willing to challenge the supplier.

You are not responsible for your friends anxiety this was just normal chat that happens in conversation.
If she can't be bothered to look for a better rate or negotiate with her broadband provider thats not your fault.
Your friend obviously needs help with her anxiety but that is up to her to ask for help.

She will have to suck it up.
You bother to shop around for a good deal and she can’t be bothered.
But don’t tell her of any more good deals it isn’t worth it.Don’t be upset, just shrug and forget about it, it will be forgotten soon enough.