Facebook and Care Homes.

Witzend

My DM (dementia) was in her care home for very nearly 8 years before she died, and I certainly wouldn’t have given permission for any photos of her to be used for publicity or advertising.

The fact that she wouldn’t have been aware, or cared, is beside the point. She had formerly been an intensely private person, very careful as to her appearance, so I cared for her. Her former self would have hated anyone but the closest family to witness the very poor old thing she’d become.

Which is also fine

Theworriedwell, that’s sweet

Win & JaneJudge not a case of hiding people away, it's gone the opposite way and people are displayed to all and sundry. While we are on the subject I would also dislike being 'persuaded' to join in with silly games or having local school children coming to view me like an exhibit in a zoo. For me and several other people I know in their 80 + years privacy and dignity are all important,

My Mum's care home is on Facebook but you can only see it if you are a family member, staff or friend of the home. I love seeing the photos and videos.

That's ideal icanhandtnemback it's the thought of the the details and pics being available to the general public which I find abhorrent.

I don't see what the problem is myself as to why some people are saying they don't want that - given both modern manners and carehome policies say that everyones personal permission has to be sought first for photos.

So either the person themselves is asked or, if they aren't up to answering, then their relative/close friend/etc is asked on their behalf.

Given it helps other people evaluate the standard of a carehome to see these photos - then there's also the altruistic thing of helping others reject the dud level carehomes and pick a decent one.

I ve never seen any photos on fb showing people in any kind of situation I would be concerned about, just singing, playing games and looking as if they are having fun. It would put my mind at rest if it was my relative
Why do some consider it’s not normal to take photos of people in all stages of life
Obviously if they were inappropriate photos I d be furious but I ve never seen any nasty ones at all just people having a good time

BlueBelle

I ve never seen any photos on fb showing people in any kind of situation I would be concerned about, just singing, playing games and looking as if they are having fun. It would put my mind at rest if it was my relative
Why do some consider it’s not normal to take photos of people in all stages of life
Obviously if they were inappropriate photos I d be furious but I ve never seen any nasty ones at all just people having a good time

Quite! I only remember seeing photos of people having a singalong or cuddling cute animals that are visiting them. Nowt wrong with that....

Agreed.

You are missing the point here, it's not the content of the pictures I object to but the fact they are put out there for all to see. Should be restricted to family and friends.

sodapop

You are missing the point here, it's not the content of the pictures I object to but the fact they are put out there for all to see. Should be restricted to family and friends.

And if you're ever in a care home you can make that decision, meanwhile if other people are happy to share their photos more widely they are entitled to make that choice.

sodapop

You are missing the point here, it's not the content of the pictures I object to but the fact they are put out there for all to see. Should be restricted to family and friends.

Still waiting to have someone explain why a carehome resident should/would be bothered about having their photos out there - since they will have GIVEN PERMISSION for those photos to be taken in the first place.

If they've agreed = they've agreed.

sodapop

You are missing the point here, it's not the content of the pictures I object to but the fact they are put out there for all to see. Should be restricted to family and friends.

The care home my mother-in-law was in posted photos on their Facebook page, but you had to apply to join the group, stating which resident you were involved with, to be approved and able to see them.

I understand if the photos aren't dignified sodapop. I do understand from that point of view but I've never seen anything I have found alarming.

My local authority is posting similar from the care homes they run. They are dignified and there is no way they won't have asked for consent.
I suppose I do understood the concerns about consent that someone mentioned about hiw valid consent can be when someone holds power so to speak over your daily life, but that can be applied to all the decisions made in care homes.

I’m nit sure how I feel about this. Is it to reassure the outside worldthat everything is fine or to prove activities and care? I worked in childcare and you can pose activities putting extra special out. Mainly it’s to reassure people but that’s just my synic view. I hasten to add all my children were well looked after as I hope these care homes are. But why the need to show it?

Harris27

I’m nit sure how I feel about this. Is it to reassure the outside worldthat everything is fine or to prove activities and care? I worked in childcare and you can pose activities putting extra special out. Mainly it’s to reassure people but that’s just my synic view. I hasten to add all my children were well looked after as I hope these care homes are. But why the need to show it?

Maybe to help change the view of care homes being like something from a Dickens novel.

Or a way of showing people in residential care aren't institutionalised? but I don't think I can post without bias because there are some shockingly poor examples of care

The very last thing a care home would do is post pictures that were not flattering or showed the residents not having a lovely time They won’t post a pic of a lady peeling off her clothes or crying would they ? they will be the very best of what’s going on to make it as attractive as possible so I really don’t see any problem at all The photos I ve seen on fb are of entertainers singing to them or of lovely birthday cakes being brought to the table I ve just thought how happy and fun it all looks
If general permission hasn’t been sought that would be a problem but I m sure that most homes would be very careful about that
It would make my day if I d ever seen any photos of my mum having a good time instead of me constantly imagining how awful it was for her

Oreo

You would have had the choice Witzend

I know. It was an excellent care home where residents’ dignity was respected.

That's how I feel too, BlueBelle. When my late mother and late inlaws were in care homes, written consent had to be given for photos to be taken in the first place and also if you wanted them to be on their social media or not. They were usually only taken on occasions like birthdays or when entertainers or some other form of activity was taking place, and it was nice to see them enjoying themselves. Now that they are no longer with us, it's also nice to be able to look back and see those photos.

My mother is often asleep when I visit or she is totally disengaged so when I see photos of her being involved in the games, etc I am really pleased she is still getting some enjoyment in life.

icanhandthemback

My mother is often asleep when I visit or she is totally disengaged so when I see photos of her being involved in the games, etc I am really pleased she is still getting some enjoyment in life.

I don't know how much of the norm it is - but my father spent a lot of his time dozing off for some time latterly. I just used to accept he'd be awake at the start of any visit - but it wouldnt be long before he'd dozed back off again. I just took it as a mercy when he was asleep - as the quality of his life was not up to much for quite some years latterly. I doubt he was in normal health from some point in his 20s/30s (courtesy of the armed forces) and then his own health problems must have started kicking in in his 40's - and he died in his 90s! A very very long time to be ill indeed - even if one only counts his own illness (and not those illnesses that were down to the armed forces).

So - yep...I work on the basis of never disturbing an older person when they're sleeping - just in case it's some of the only "peace" they can get.

So - yep...I'd never disturb him when he was asleep - as at least it meant he wasnt in pain or something.

CariadAgain my mother is almost like she is in a coma when she sleeps and often sleeps all day. Today when I went in, she managed to stay awake for 5 minutes and was then out for the count. As she is disengaged far more these days, it doesn't make a lot of difference to my visits so I just sit beside her for a while. It is what it is.

icanhandthemback

CariadAgain my mother is almost like she is in a coma when she sleeps and often sleeps all day. Today when I went in, she managed to stay awake for 5 minutes and was then out for the count. As she is disengaged far more these days, it doesn't make a lot of difference to my visits so I just sit beside her for a while. It is what it is.

True dat.

The way I look at it is it's like they've got "one foot over the threshold" (ie to Heaven) and maybe they're sorta already heading in that direction.

I have the theory that - with my father - it was a matter of my mothers will power that was keeping him "here". She'd been doing that for about 40 years imo!!!! I was not happy with her at all about that. She wasnt someone who was going to accept his decisions for himself either way.

To me - that excess sleep feels like they're sorta "gathering up their resources" to move over the border so to say...like crouching before "making a jump over the boundary between the two Worlds".

Sorta confirmed by the way I had it reported back to me by my best friend (whose husband died pretty recently) - and I know he was spending a fair bit of daytime being asleep latterly - but then there was the "rally" of him being pretty much back to himself at one point and my friend & family seemed to be "getting their hopes up" - but I was thinking "He's nearly gone over the border now....this is last "rally" and then he will go soon". That was what happened in the event.

To me - when I hear of that sort of thing I think "Not long now....and then they'll be free and in Heaven". So I take the attitude of being pleased for them that they don't have that much longer left of being in a failing body.

If I ever need residential care, I’d hate to have photographs of myself there posted on Facebook.

Given how frail and incapacitated many who can only be cared for in residential care, isn’t there an issue of informed consent? As we age and our capacities diminish, privacy and dignity are increasingly important.

I would not have given consent on behalf of my mum