Tea or coffee

Not rude at all, I’d always ask for tea but if they only had coffee I’d have that or water.

You wouldn't be rude.

Something along the lines of "I'm sorry but I don't drink coffee. May I have a tea instead please?" should be fine. If someone has a problem with that, it's them, not you.

Not rude - usually it is the other way round, people offer tea when you’d prefer coffee. I suppose it depends what time of day it is too.

Ofcourse not - not rude at all.

Often it is just shorthand for a hot drink.
Would you like to come in for a coffee?
It is fine to ask for tea.

When I was young people would ask if you wanted to drop in for a cup of tea, these days they increasingly ask if you want to drop in for a cup of coffee. I think it is simply to do with the proliferation of coffee shops. But most people have tea as well as coffee available.

I am a coffee drinker but usually ask for tea when dropping in on friends/neighbours because I like my coffee a particular way and am not fussy when it comes to tea

That's why I offer tea & not coffee - I can make a decent cup of tea but we drink decaff instant coffee & I worry people wouldn't like it.

valdavi

That's why I offer tea & not coffee - I can make a decent cup of tea but we drink decaff instant coffee & I worry people wouldn't like it.

Oh I would drink decaf or ordinary instant coffee, it is the coffee machine coffees I can’t get on with, or the barista coffees in most cafes, they are just to strong for me, and these days most if my friends/neighbours have one of those machines with pods.
But you’re right coffee can be a very personal thing.

I'm not sure why anyone would think it rude, it's a preference. If we have a visitor who has come to do work in the house, I'd offer tea or coffee, just because I'm a coffee drinker I wouldn't presume that of others.

I only drink decaffeinated tea so I always have some teabags in my handbag.

I am learning all about gut health and am working hard to ensure my gut is doing what it should!
Apparently coffee is extremely good for you so I am trying to learn to love it again, I stopped drinking it over 30 Yeats ago when pregnant.
I have discovered some coffee bags I quite like so am having a weekly coffee, I would dread saying yes to coffee and being given instant.

I think it depends on the relationship between you and the person offering. If it's an acquaintance I would just say that I don't drink coffee, and hope to be offered tea. I don't think it's ok to assume that being offered one thing means you can ask for another, unless you are with close friends and family. It's no different from being offered water and asking for gin instead, really .

I often have groups of people here (not friends, but group members) and when I offer drinks I usually say 'can I get anyone tea or coffee?' or similar, but every time someone will say 'do you have decaffeinated coffee with oat milk, or strawberry leaf tea, or sugar-free unicorn-horn matcha?' I'm not running a cafe, and if I had fancy stuff in I might want to save it for actual friends.

When those actual friends are here, I ask 'what would you like to drink?' and people are free to suggest anything - they know what I'm likely to have, and that they are welcome to it.

I was always taught that good manners mean not putting people on the spot, so you wouldn't push someone into giving you something that's not spare, or making them admit to not having what you've asked for. I know it's just a teabag in the case the OP mentions, but the principle stands.

I'm in the "fussy" coffee club. I can't do Instant Coffee, so would ask for Tea.

I hate instant coffee too, but would either drink it if that was what was offered, or decline and hope to be offered an alternative. It's just a drink - most adults can force themselves to drink something they don't really like, or to do without. It would feel (to me) really entitled to turn down an offer of a specified drink and ask someone to provide an alternative, unless it's a glass of water.

It's different if the person offering is a close friend or a family member though.

I’m the opposite, I prefer a good instant coffee to coffee made in a machine. Obviously coffee is a tricky one when having someone drop in. I don’t have a coffee machine but do have good instant coffee, ordinary teabags, and a variety of herbal teas. I just ask which a guest prefers. Some just ask for a glass of water. Is a mixed bag so is not rude to ask if a host has a different drink to the one offered, I think most people are prepared for this.

I'm another who would decline an instant coffee if offered, politely of course. Years after having proper coffee, I don't like it anymore. I once worked with somene a long time ago who said she wouldn't touch instant, at the time, when that was pretty much what anyone got in the workplace, I thought "coffee snob" but it's what you get used to, taste buds change.

Cabbie21

Often it is just shorthand for a hot drink.
Would you like to come in for a coffee?
It is fine to ask for tea.

That’s what I think.

Doodledog

I think it depends on the relationship between you and the person offering. If it's an acquaintance I would just say that I don't drink coffee, and hope to be offered tea. I don't think it's ok to assume that being offered one thing means you can ask for another, unless you are with close friends and family. It's no different from being offered water and asking for gin instead, really .

I often have groups of people here (not friends, but group members) and when I offer drinks I usually say 'can I get anyone tea or coffee?' or similar, but every time someone will say 'do you have decaffeinated coffee with oat milk, or strawberry leaf tea, or sugar-free unicorn-horn matcha?' I'm not running a cafe, and if I had fancy stuff in I might want to save it for actual friends.

When those actual friends are here, I ask 'what would you like to drink?' and people are free to suggest anything - they know what I'm likely to have, and that they are welcome to it.

I was always taught that good manners mean not putting people on the spot, so you wouldn't push someone into giving you something that's not spare, or making them admit to not having what you've asked for. I know it's just a teabag in the case the OP mentions, but the principle stands.

Hmm, not sure about that.
Good manners is trying your best to accommodate guests in my view.
If you don’t have a milk alternative in the fridge ( I love oat milk in coffee it makes it creamy) but I don’t always have some in but I always keep some decaf instant coffee in case visitors want it.Decaf tea bags as well.
The analogy of water and gin hardly makes sense in this case.
A tea bag or a spoonful of coffee are similar in price.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for tea ‘if they have some’.

I don’t drink coffee so I only have instant in the house. I don’t know how long it still tastes okay as a jar lasts ages. My visitors usually choose tea. Tea can be Yorkshire, or decaf, Earl Gray, lemon, ginger, camomile. There may be others lurking in the cupboard. After my first one ( Yorkshire ) I have decaf, with literally two drops of milk and two sweetners. Too much milk and I cannot drink it. .

I don't drink coffee, only tea
I never have a selection of stuff in either. Thinking about it though I most probably have some decaf tea bags from hotels we've stayed in...

I am the other way about, I don’t drink tea, I’ve loathed it since a small child. Whilst I would accept a coffee, I would always politely refuse a tea and say a glass of water would be fine…hoping that coffee would then be offered. Not everyone drinks or has coffee in the home, I don’t have tea available so wouldn’t ask for coffee as an alternative.

Sago

I only drink decaffeinated tea so I always have some teabags in my handbag.

I am learning all about gut health and am working hard to ensure my gut is doing what it should!
Apparently coffee is extremely good for you so I am trying to learn to love it again, I stopped drinking it over 30 Yeats ago when pregnant.
I have discovered some coffee bags I quite like so am having a weekly coffee, I would dread saying yes to coffee and being given instant.

I have one cup of caffeinated coffee a day to wake me up ( but always have a mug of warm water first thing). After that it’s Nescafé Gold Blend decaffeinated ( it’s supposed to be naturally decaffeinated compared to other brands). I read that 2-3 cups of coffee prevent all sorts of things. I, too, am trying to live and eat healthier with chia, flax seed, kimchi etc etc. I went off percolated coffee when one night I wanted to stay up to watch an eclipse and drank lots of strong coffee throughout the night.

Might be relieved if you want a tea, coffee is so expensive. At least they can make a pot with one tea bag ha. Might be rude to ask for a biscuit though, biscuit
muncher .
Only teasing!

Oreo

Doodledog

I think it depends on the relationship between you and the person offering. If it's an acquaintance I would just say that I don't drink coffee, and hope to be offered tea. I don't think it's ok to assume that being offered one thing means you can ask for another, unless you are with close friends and family. It's no different from being offered water and asking for gin instead, really .

I often have groups of people here (not friends, but group members) and when I offer drinks I usually say 'can I get anyone tea or coffee?' or similar, but every time someone will say 'do you have decaffeinated coffee with oat milk, or strawberry leaf tea, or sugar-free unicorn-horn matcha?' I'm not running a cafe, and if I had fancy stuff in I might want to save it for actual friends.

When those actual friends are here, I ask 'what would you like to drink?' and people are free to suggest anything - they know what I'm likely to have, and that they are welcome to it.

I was always taught that good manners mean not putting people on the spot, so you wouldn't push someone into giving you something that's not spare, or making them admit to not having what you've asked for. I know it's just a teabag in the case the OP mentions, but the principle stands.

Hmm, not sure about that.
Good manners is trying your best to accommodate guests in my view.
If you don’t have a milk alternative in the fridge ( I love oat milk in coffee it makes it creamy) but I don’t always have some in but I always keep some decaf instant coffee in case visitors want it.Decaf tea bags as well.
The analogy of water and gin hardly makes sense in this case.
A tea bag or a spoonful of coffee are similar in price.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for tea ‘if they have some’.

I do accommodate guests - but I differentiate between guests (ie friends) and people who just happen to be in my house for a meeting or whatever. Friends/guests are welcome to whatever I have, and most will help themselves or ask, and I'll happily provide.

What I object to (and made clear, I think?) is when people who are not friends ask for something I haven't offered - IMO that is rude. I do offer tea or coffee and biscuits, and am happy to get water, but I don't think it is up to me to go beyond that in a meeting that happens to be held in my house.

It's not about the cost - I didn't mention that. It's about what I am choosing to offer to relative strangers - I might have gin in the house (unlikely as I rarely drink), or fancy chocolates, but I'm not obliged to offer them to anyone who crosses the threshold. To me it's the same thing. Friends can (and do) make themselves at home - committee members get what they're given .