Die Quietly and Don’t Cause Much Bother

If you're in the UK, there's an app called Trash Nothing, you put up photo and description and people who want your unwanted stuff come to collect it. It saves charity shops being overwhelmed and prevents stuff going into landfill. You'd be surprised what people like.

Yes, I can relate to this. We downsized 3 years ago and had to get rid of some antique furniture inherited from my husband's grandparents. I had hoped DD would take some as she has a large Victorian house, but no, only likes modern and light wood furniture. I accepted that. I haven't addressed question of my silver and China yet!

FranA Oh kids, what are they like! 🙄 my daughter says ‘tongue in cheek’ ‘can I run any purchase I make (I’m 70 & in decent enough health) past her as SHE may not like it! 🤣🤣

I had a lovely older neighbour who often joked about her cabinet filled with nick knacks.
She would often say you’ll know when I’m dead, you’ll see that lot in a charity shop 😂

When I cleared my mums bungalow, the British Heart Foundation came and collected all the furniture. They were the only charity I could find at the time who would collect in a van. They also took loads of books.

Calendargirl

But if DC might want it one day, perhaps they should be the ones storing it, until they decide for certain whether or not that is the case. 🤷‍♀️

I think of a friend, still storing her DD’s uni books and other paraphernalia. The DD has her own home now, but Mum is still the one cluttered up with her ‘stuff’.

Where do you suggest please, Calendargirl

I only kept useful stuff from my mum ther - tray, bread knife, some tumblers, a few paintings. A widower friend is downsizing and even he doesn’t want all the paraphernalia his wife collected. I am in the process of disposing of books I know no one will want. I’ve had to clear three properties for family members and couldn’t possibly have given home to all their belongings.

Younger people tend to live in smaller houses and don't have the room for formal dining tables and chairs or display cabinets full of china. Yes I agree enjoy what you have, keep anything of sentimental value, dispose of what you no longer want or need. It can be a nightmare clearing an elderly persons house of so much stuff they have accumulated over the years.

But if DC might want it one day, perhaps they should be the ones storing it, until they decide for certain whether or not that is the case. 🤷‍♀️

I think of a friend, still storing her DD’s uni books and other paraphernalia. The DD has her own home now, but Mum is still the one cluttered up with her ‘stuff’.

There is far too much “stuff” in this house, and much of it with a story to tell if anyone wanted to hear it. I have a periodic clear out but know that the DC will have to deal with a lot which will have no value in today’s market, even the silver which I still lovingly clean occasionally. I have decided I can’t be responsible for what may happen apart from sticking labels on one or two pictures which I would like particular people to have. Doubt whether the contents of this house would fetch much!

Indeed, Allira. I'm sure that I am not the only one with a small collection of silver pieces - christening and eighteenth birthday gifts, belonging to offspring, which they would like kept, but lack enthusiasm for the cleaning of ...mum, of course just loves to clean silver.

I do declutter every so often. Not necessarily to save the children from doing so, but to make life easier for us. I did a big one a couple of years ago, and plan to do it again soon ☹️. It's not enjoyable, but it feels good afterwards, and doing it regularly means that when we are too old to be bothered there will be less to do.
I did one last year but stuff ended up back in the attic, packed u, because DC said they might want it 'one day'.

I think paperweight are collectable, Utbb.

The ladies I was given were gifts, I'm not keen but don't like to get rid of them.

My children are welcome to anything they want, but I won't care (partly on account of being dead) if they dispose of anything they don't want. Why would I? We have things that we have bought over the years because we liked them - we can't expect others to do likewise. I don't want my mum's furniture or 'stuff', any more than my children will want mine. They are starting to take things like cookware now, as I don't do as much cooking for larger numbers as I used to and they do. I dare say other things will follow, but the bottom line is that lifestyles change, and with them the desirability of different items. My mother keeps asking my sister and me if we want her Hostess Trolley. We don't . I don't think Mum can understand why not, as she was so proud of it back in 1975 or whenever she got it. We don't want to keep food warm for hours these days - we can reheat in no time in a microwave, and we don't want to have to find space for a wooden trolley in the 99% of time that we won't be using it (which is why Mum wants rid of it herself).

I don't think my 'stuff' is unfashionable, as it isn't - amongst my friends, who are largely around my age. Younger people would see things differently, I'm sure, though . In my head I'm about 35, but time has moved on since then, unfortunately.

I do declutter every so often. Not necessarily to save the children from doing so, but to make life easier for us. I did a big one a couple of years ago, and plan to do it again soon ☹️. It's not enjoyable, but it feels good afterwards, and doing it regularly means that when we are too old to be bothered there will be less to do.

I really don't want my daughters to struggle finding time for sorting my stuff and space for storing it. They have busy lives and nowhere to keep things, so my things will have to be kept to a minimum. I'm trying to offload as much as possible now so they don't have to deal with everything at once.

Homes of today are very different from what they used to be and they have their own lives and possessions. The only things worth passing on are precious family heirlooms, photos, letters, things that have meaning. Not ornaments.

One of my friends had a glass unit full of Royal Doulton “ladies “
I don’t know who remembers those, they were very delicate ,pastel models of ladies in crinoline type dresses.
Expensive to buy but absolutely worthless today.
I think of all the money spent on such things, Wedgewood, Ladro, my own favourite was Crown Derby paperweights, all now unwanted.
I don’t think they will ever be back in fashion.

My Mum died 32 years ago. Dad 12 years ago. When my brother and I cleared the house we told each other and our children to choose what they would like. Each of us choose ( without consultation) just one small thing that meant something to us. Mine was a cake knife that evoked very happy memories of childhood Sunday tea times. The others all chose things with similar sentiment.
We did keep photo albums and some scrapbooks that documented many family occasions
None of us wanted furniture or linen and there really wasn’t anything of real monetary value.

I had to clear out my parents 'house while they were still alive, and that was horrible, having to get rid of things they had treasured but were of no value or I didn't have room to house. I still have my mother's Coalport china which she treasured and collected year after year but I already have two of my own, which I use and enjoy.

Following my recent illness I am now decluttering like mad.
The dinner table and chairs have gone to a good home; I'm emptying cupboards as fast as I can and going to charity shops with decent stuff. Books are the most difficult, so it's just a few at a time around various charity shops
Being ill at my age is a good kick up the pants reminder to just get on with it.

Fallingstar

We inherited some vintage cameras from my FiL, he was an avid photographer and had early Kodak brownies among other makes as well as Pentax and Olympus cameras. We left it in boxes until last year and thought if we advertised them we would be inundated but we couldn’t even give them away, we tried vintage cash cow but they would only accept a few if we included other things of value. A friend took them to a charity to see if they could put them on eBay as list charities do these days.
Am wondering how many ended up being binned.

Sad to say, a lot 😥
I wonder how many people realise that it costs the charities money to dispose of unwanted/ can’t sell items.
There has been many times when our skip has been full and I have to take up these un wanted items to the local tip.
So that costs me money.

I am still using the beautiful Edwardian white cotton bead spreads given to me by a departed Aunt. She inherited them from her husband’s mother’s effects.
Guests often comment on them. I hope they’ll go to a collector of textiles when I’m gone ( or maybe before), either through a charity shop or on line auction.

We don’t keep things for ‘best’ any more, if we enjoy them we use them daily, if we don’t then they go off to the Charity shop. But I photograph it first and if one of the family wants it or thinks they can sell it, they take it away.

We had a big clear out last year when we thought we were moving, now I have a pack of different coloured stickers, each AC and GCs will pick a colour and stick the dot on what they want, then when we both go, they can take it, anything without a dot I can safely get rid of if I’m in my clear out mood. We’ve also told them that whatever they personally bought us, they get back when we have gone.

Sounds easy enough doesn’t it!

My parent's house was FULL - lots of beautiful things but chock full. They died in 1992.
My husband's aunt died the same year. We had box loads from there too.. and still have lots of it in boxes ... it MUST go!

Lots of the furniture from both houses went to auction - where pennies were realised - if it was today the auctioneer I spoke to this week said he wouldn't have been able to sell it now.

Obviously I wouldn't buy the same things now as we bought when we married! Neither will our children's or our grandchildren's generations.
Very sad that such well made and well-loved pieces are of no interest to anyone anymore.
If I can gift things over the next couple of years I will do it. And we won't bring much from my mother-in-law's house home to "clutter us up" even more.

Fran

We inherited some vintage cameras from my FiL, he was an avid photographer and had early Kodak brownies among other makes as well as Pentax and Olympus cameras. We left it in boxes until last year and thought if we advertised them we would be inundated but we couldn’t even give them away, we tried vintage cash cow but they would only accept a few if we included other things of value. A friend took them to a charity to see if they could put them on eBay as list charities do these days.
Am wondering how many ended up being binned.