Die Quietly and Don’t Cause Much Bother

Yes it does seem that now we have to consider our ACs busy lives when dying. Not only are we to get rid of stuff so they don’t have to do it, we should plan a no frills funeral so they don’t have to bother too much with that.

I too have lovely China, glasses canteens of cutlery and have been told the no one will want it.
It, it lucky, will go to charity shops, but I truly think some will go in a skip.
This is what happened to my mahogany dining room furniture, bought at considerable expense.
No one wanted it and I had to face it being chopped up and in a skip along with table cloths and napkins which I think could have been repurposed but I was too late.
We must accept that times and fashions change but let them do the disposing, they want it too easy.

I'd sell the lot. I'd also empty all my bank accounts and then donate everything to some very deserving charity.

Reading between the lines I am thinking that perhaps your children are being insensitive about your possessions. In a way I have the opposite problem. One of my children mentioned two small pieces of furniture (1960s, well used, negligible value) that they would like to have if I were decluttering. This prompted me to tell my children and grandchildren to please ask, now, for anything they would like. I could always say no of course! This means something full of memories for one of them does not go to a charity shop or jumble sale.

I believe that we own things because they mean something to us, not because we should expect to pass them on to our children, our children aren’t us, and they want to own things that mean something to them.
My very elderly parents are still alive, and they have a large house full to the gunnels with stuff that they can’t bear to part with. We children are all in our fifties and sixties, and we already have houses filled with our own stuff. We’re dreading having to dispose of all their possessions, it’s going to be really hard, both emotionally and physically, so I do sympathise with my children, and I don’t want them to be put in that position too.

We are just "clearing" my mother-in-law's home.
As mentioned, nobody wants her lovely old furniture and we had an auctioneer come round this week.
It was quite a lesson...

He had just "cleared" his mother's house and though he loved some of her precious things, his children wanted none of it except some small sentimental items.

The good news is that South Korea is buying dinner services by the crate - ! - so no need to skip those!

Casdon yes, a few items will always be loved - but nobody in my family will even fit some of our bigger pieces of furniture in!

Two of my girls have asked for things from my mother-in-law's house. A manicure set (because that daughter always did her grandmother's nails for her) and a small glass dog (because that daughter was only allowed to look at it under supervision when she was a girl)!

I suppose it's good to be pragmatic but also to attend to emotions.

My husband is dreading clearer his parents house . He's an only child and his father died a year ago aged 95, his Mother is 90 and not doing too badly . They just have so much stuff. His dad had various hobbies over the years. He had 3 sheds full of stuff, they never got rid of anything. His Mother is trying to sort through it all but in reality, she wants to leave it for my husband to sort out after she's gone . We haven't got room for any of their stuff. So I suppose it will all go to a house clearance company

, I’m slowly but steadily minimising stuff in the hope of making it all easier for my adult children. We cleared our parents and my in laws homes and it sharpened my understanding of what an emotionally and practically demanding task it is.m

Dark furniture and elaborate cutlery, glass wear, crockery aren’t popular. Books 🙈. Mr I was a collector (horder). When diagnosed,he set about donating specific book collections to universities and community arts groups . There were still thousands of books and they’re a bit like dark furniture, out of fashion

I’ve kept mums beautiful china tea set. It’s in a display cabinet, another out of fashion piece of furniture. I don’t expect or want my children to hold on to things for sentimental reasons but - bet they do

We had to clear my inlaws' house not that long ago. The family were all asked to take anything they wanted, but there was so much stuff left. Entire china dinner sets, furniture, a whole collection of Lladro ornaments etc etc etc.
We took a great deal of it to the local auction house, and they told us they're getting overwhelmed with items from that generation - which very few people want nowadays. We even advertised some things on Facebook and so on for free and even then there were things we couldn't even give away. It was heartbreaking to see some of it going to the skip - so since then, my husband has been on a decluttering mission in the hope that we can avoid our children having to go through the same.

I'm not worried about my furniture because it's a nice mix of modern and repurposed which I know my family like. Also, it's a small flat so there isn't masses of it. However... there is a stack of my dad's oil paintings in my ex's attic which he kindly offered to take care of when we divorced many moons ago. They're beautiful paintings as he was a professional artist but they're so BIG! We've decided as a family to lug them all down, go through them and sell what isn't wanted or they don't have room for. Then the money can be shared between the grandchildren now, and it will be a huge task done and dusted before we pop our clogs.

We did the Swedish Death Clearance 3 years ago then moved house last year and got rid of more.

The auction house sold a lot and the charity shops did well.

I don’t miss a thing.

I’m living an uncluttered life, it’s bliss.

Believe me it’s very sad for us who sort the donations.
The beautiful embroidered table clothes and matching napkins. The same with very good bedding, too dated.
We can’t display cutlery sets because we can’t display knives.
It’s very sad.
Fortunately I’m a chuckerouter extraordinaire but even I have to be strong.

With plain crockery, a mish mash of glasses and mugs, with nothing on display that needs dusting, there won’t be much to clear here.
Our furniture is quite modern, a few pictures and books, my children have already laid claim to a couple of items for later.

When I mentioned my worries about decluttering my house so as not to leave an onerous task for my DC, a widowed colleague asked if my house was worth much. “Certainly” I replied “And a it’s in a very desirable area”
“Well let them get on with it” she said 😁👍

I m with you Petra I feel so sad when bagfuls of beautiful stuff comes in that we just have to get rid of because it’s too old fashioned or just not able to for safety

I have no intention of getting rid of my possessions in order to make house clearance easier for someone else upon my demise.
I occasionally have a clear out of things I no longer use, but with regard to furniture, crockery, pictures, etc - these form part of my home. They give me pleasure, and I’m not suddenly going to fall out of love with these things just because I am closer to the end of my life than I once was, or think “I’d better get rid of some of my things” to make it easier for others to clear my house once I’m gone. If family members decide they don’t want any of my “stuff” once I’m gone, they can get the house clearance people in.

Your time is limited with us.

Enjoy what you have in your house for you in that time. You did so well by them, you gave them such a good start in life. That matters far more than Stuff

My sis did the house clearence stuff. Very little of monetary value (I mean, there never really anything worth a lot or cost a lot)

....but there were a few treasures of sentimental value we shared, I just wanted a picture, others a wooden rocking chair, a cabinet, and so on. You cant know what those might be.

Don't think it will stop them grieving, it won't - live as best you can for now.

My brother in law in Australia is an artist and has quite a lot of his work in his home. His daughter has already been round writing her name on the back of her favourite works! Sadly he is unwell but is painting and drawing as much as he can.

Enjoy it while you can or sell it, get rid of it FranA

We can't worry about what might happen to it all when we're gone because we won't know.

I have lots of clutter, due to my hobby of leather craft. It's all stored in an ottoman at the bottom of my bed.

I would imagine that the daughter who lives nearest to me will be able to sell most of it and get good prices.

The thing that worries me is that she works full time, and it would be hard for her to spend time in selling my stuff.

I don't think I am going to die in the near future though ( fingers crossed because you never know).

If I thought I was I would try to get rid of as much as possible before passing.

Allira

Enjoy it while you can or sell it, get rid of it FranA

We can't worry about what might happen to it all when we're gone because we won't know.

My sentiments exactly. There’s no use fretting about what will happen to our possessions because we won’t know.
Enjoy everything you have and indeed shop for more, if it gives you pleasure.
A terminally ill Aunt of mine bought an expensive, luxurious velvet coat. I like to think it gave her pleasure.

Years ago I had to help someone clear out their parents' house after they passed away quite suddenly.

It was a real eye opener for me on how people acquire stuff they never use- cupboards full of unopened items especially.

Yes, some of it may have had financial value but there just wasn't enough time to sort it and most of it went to landfill.

It taught me a lesson that I would never do that to my children or the planet and so I am slowly getting rid.

I think it is very shortsighted and selfish not to.