Die Quietly and Don’t Cause Much Bother

That is SO sad Esmay.
I would also feel bad. Fortunately I haven't experienced this but would feel mortified as you do.

I think we all hope we can hold on to the love of our families at least.

Thinking of you.

Ziplok

I have no intention of getting rid of my possessions in order to make house clearance easier for someone else upon my demise.
I occasionally have a clear out of things I no longer use, but with regard to furniture, crockery, pictures, etc - these form part of my home. They give me pleasure, and I’m not suddenly going to fall out of love with these things just because I am closer to the end of my life than I once was, or think “I’d better get rid of some of my things” to make it easier for others to clear my house once I’m gone. If family members decide they don’t want any of my “stuff” once I’m gone, they can get the house clearance people in.

Well said Ziplock and I feel just the same, I shall enjoy what I have until the day I die.
There will be a house to sell and split the proceeds and it’s up to my AC to take what they want, sell other things and give some to charity shops.

I moved 6 years ago after my OH died, so was forced to sort a lot of stuff out.

My rule when looking at things was: will my children look at this and think what the bloody hell can we do with it!? If it fell into that category then it went unless it was something I valued.

I used Freecycle a lot and the items were greatly appreciated by those who took them. Some on low incomes, and some students.

^I’m slowly but steadily minimising stuff in the hope of making it all easier for my adult children. We cleared our parents and my in laws homes and it sharpened my understanding of what an emotionally and practically demanding task it is.m
^

That is what I am doing too.
To be fair to your children, it is a big task.

Personally, I dont have "stuff" they are going to want, on the whole.

As for "blow it all", why not blow some op , if you want to.

Georgesgran -

We all have different ideas .
I respect your opinion .

Some of mine have developed over the frankly appalling way - my kids treated their grandfather over the last three years of his life.

I used to watch him howl with pain over it .
Visiting him became a " bore "and "not fun.."
I feel tearful even writing about it.
I never thought that they were capable of being so callous .
He may have been strict and old fashioned ,but he was very generous,loving and kind towards them .

I wasn't impressed at his funeral.
One didn't even turn up.

I went to a funeral on Monday, it was the H of a friend.
He had been a very sporty man and had played rugby to a high standard.
There were no flowers but upon the coffin were a rugby ball and scarves and shirts kept from his clubs.
I said to my friend I hoped she had retrieved them but she said she didn’t want them back, just told the Funeral director .to just dispose of them.
I thought that was sad.

If you derive pleasure from the things that you own, regardless of whether or not they are of any practical use to you Fran and you want to keep them, then do so.

We drastically downsized 18 months ago and as a result got rid of a huge amount but did so because that's what we wanted. Our son lives in Aus. and we were living in a huge 4/5 bedroom town house that neither of us wanted the other to have to deal with when one of us died.

We made that decision for ourselves and any decision you make should be for you.

Nice post Wyllow It's a funny old business loss, grief and stuff.

I have a box full I managed to gather from my family home before relatives cleared it. It's a rag tag collection of bits, I'm not sure what to do with any of it really.

Sorry Esmay but that all sounds perfect to me. (Not using VCC though).

This seems a sadly negative thread.
Just because nobody wants much if our "stuff" doesn't mean we aren't loved.

Don't forget that when we die we are at a different life stage than our children - and with different houses and different history.
It's inevitable that we like different things.

The dinner service we started collecting when we married - which is really beautiful and all the family love - is not one that's really quite so useful to families today with it's tureen and gravy boats and tiny tea plates. Today they don't want the same formality and why would they?

I don't think anyone in my family has the spare cupboard space - I know three don't, the fourth is in America and the fifth may have the space but probably wouldn't use much of it.

I have moved the dinner plates into the kitchen. If the pattern washes off in the dishwasher, we'll at least I have enjoyed using it!

To me - the whole process of coming to the end of your life has become something which is thoroughly unpleasant.

Sell off all your treasures to Vintage Cash Cow and then opt for one of the cheap cremation plans which are rammed down our throats during commercial breaks.

It makes me laugh to hear that they can celebrate your life in their own way .

I've told my children to take what they want and then get a house clearance service to take everything else.
I'm sure between them they can manage my two bedroom flat. It would have been much harder if I hadn't downsized from my much larger house.

I inherited some of my Nan grandad and parents stuff any that I think is of value but not in use, I ve put in one cupboard and any in use, I ve put a sticker on the bottom The rest can just go the only things I d like someone to take over are my boxes of family history, all done long before the internet. I hope one of the grandkids would want it, My paintings/ drawings not a huge lot and my albums of photos and post card collection
P c’s can have value

None of my stuff is "old-fashioned" anyway - other than my landline phones would be considered to be I'd say.

I am actually wondering whether I ought to make an amendment to my will in the event - given that I've got a local friend here who I know will take anything she's given and find a use for it (at least if it's to do with gardening) and she'd be going round my garden and through my gardening bookshelves and find a use for all sorts from that and my stuff in that direction would probably land up finding a home halfway round the town. I'm sure foodstuffs would probably land up getting rerouted if unopened to the local foodbank or a community meal or something.

One way or another she'd do her best to find a home for things LOL...

I was highly astonished and amused when I first moved here and put an old baby cooker that had been left in the house out for disposal and not just one...but two...of the workmen I had in asked for it. So first one to ask got it...and I learnt pretty quickly to offer anything I was getting rid of and most of the time someone wants it...well at least things often go to good use if I don't require them any more...

I dont hoard and i declutter regularly, but im alive and will enjoy my bits around me whilst i am, im sure my family are quite capable of disposing of my bits and bobs when i pop off !

Years ago I had to help someone clear out their parents' house after they passed away quite suddenly.

It was a real eye opener for me on how people acquire stuff they never use- cupboards full of unopened items especially.

Yes, some of it may have had financial value but there just wasn't enough time to sort it and most of it went to landfill.

It taught me a lesson that I would never do that to my children or the planet and so I am slowly getting rid.

I think it is very shortsighted and selfish not to.

Allira

Enjoy it while you can or sell it, get rid of it FranA

We can't worry about what might happen to it all when we're gone because we won't know.

My sentiments exactly. There’s no use fretting about what will happen to our possessions because we won’t know.
Enjoy everything you have and indeed shop for more, if it gives you pleasure.
A terminally ill Aunt of mine bought an expensive, luxurious velvet coat. I like to think it gave her pleasure.

I have lots of clutter, due to my hobby of leather craft. It's all stored in an ottoman at the bottom of my bed.

I would imagine that the daughter who lives nearest to me will be able to sell most of it and get good prices.

The thing that worries me is that she works full time, and it would be hard for her to spend time in selling my stuff.

I don't think I am going to die in the near future though ( fingers crossed because you never know).

If I thought I was I would try to get rid of as much as possible before passing.

Enjoy it while you can or sell it, get rid of it FranA

We can't worry about what might happen to it all when we're gone because we won't know.

My brother in law in Australia is an artist and has quite a lot of his work in his home. His daughter has already been round writing her name on the back of her favourite works! Sadly he is unwell but is painting and drawing as much as he can.

Your time is limited with us.

Enjoy what you have in your house for you in that time. You did so well by them, you gave them such a good start in life. That matters far more than Stuff

My sis did the house clearence stuff. Very little of monetary value (I mean, there never really anything worth a lot or cost a lot)

....but there were a few treasures of sentimental value we shared, I just wanted a picture, others a wooden rocking chair, a cabinet, and so on. You cant know what those might be.

Don't think it will stop them grieving, it won't - live as best you can for now.

I have no intention of getting rid of my possessions in order to make house clearance easier for someone else upon my demise.
I occasionally have a clear out of things I no longer use, but with regard to furniture, crockery, pictures, etc - these form part of my home. They give me pleasure, and I’m not suddenly going to fall out of love with these things just because I am closer to the end of my life than I once was, or think “I’d better get rid of some of my things” to make it easier for others to clear my house once I’m gone. If family members decide they don’t want any of my “stuff” once I’m gone, they can get the house clearance people in.

I m with you Petra I feel so sad when bagfuls of beautiful stuff comes in that we just have to get rid of because it’s too old fashioned or just not able to for safety

When I mentioned my worries about decluttering my house so as not to leave an onerous task for my DC, a widowed colleague asked if my house was worth much. “Certainly” I replied “And a it’s in a very desirable area”
“Well let them get on with it” she said 😁👍

With plain crockery, a mish mash of glasses and mugs, with nothing on display that needs dusting, there won’t be much to clear here.
Our furniture is quite modern, a few pictures and books, my children have already laid claim to a couple of items for later.