Rudeness from a stranger in public

Yesterday was a lovely sunny day and I was thoroughly enjoying talking to two friends who are foodies.
They own and run the best cafe in my area.
They wanted my opinion on Asian food as they know that I make a lot of it .

In walked an Asian girl by sheer coincidence
They knew her and talked to her .
Then went to prepare her late lunch .
I wondered where she came from and guessed correctly.

I shall never anyone where they come from again.

I said that I'd visited her country several times and thoroughly enjoyed their cuisine ,which was true.

Suddenly-
she went berserk screaming at me ,crying and actually clawing at her face and pulling her hair.
It was hard to understand what she was saying .
Part of it was "look at me!"
I tried to apologise.
I started to shake.
On my way to the loo , I told my friends that I'd upset her and didn't know what to do.
Don't worry, they said .

When I got home I burst into floods of tears.

Yes I think it was a comment probably aimed at her partner not the OP. It would be a strange thing to say to someone at the machine as they would have already parked.

NittWitt

It doesn't matter how many tokens you use. Tesco certainly doesn't care.
Tesco has £X,000 to give split between three charities at a time. They divide them depending on the proportion of blue tokens each charity has in its box. The three charities all get something.

It would be far too much faff to try to police how many tokens each customer gets and the scheme would be abandoned if they had to do that.

I was quoting how my local Tesco works the system.

Not saying it’s like that everywhere, but most of the checkout staff hand over the tokens, they don’t let you help yourself, so I assume that’s what they are told to do.

Am I the only one who thinks the lady may not have been speaking to ACDC at all but making a comment to herself, maybe about her husband's bad parking?

It doesn't matter how many tokens you use. Tesco certainly doesn't care.
Tesco has £X,000 to give split between three charities at a time. They divide them depending on the proportion of blue tokens each charity has in its box. The three charities all get something.

It would be far too much faff to try to police how many tokens each customer gets and the scheme would be abandoned if they had to do that.

TiggyW

madeleine45 - I’ve never understood those blue tokens in Tesco. How many are you supposed to take? 🤔

You’re supposed to have one for each shop. Not meant to help yourself to a handful.

I find it depends on the checkout person. One chap at our Tesco hands over one alongside your receipt, some give you two if shopping with a partner, and I feel the lazier ones leave you to help yourself, but no one should be taking several.

You then choose which local charity to support, and pop your token in the relevant box.

I think you were a bit unlucky ACDC so dont let it put you off going out. Yes there are rude, impatient people, but also amazing kind and patient ones. I volunteer in an RVS cafe in a hospital and most customers are very respectful and helpful to those who are struggling through age, injury or infirmity. They wait patiently whilst those customers struggle to order and pay and sometimes help them carry their purchases to the tables. Shared adversity seems to bring out the best in people.

I had some trolley rage in a supermarket last year when I bumped into someone by accident and was sworn at. I just said to the man, " it's been a nice day, hasn't it". He didn't know what to say as he was probably expecting me to sweat back.

annifrance

Ashcombe, this is the opposite I experience here in a forgotten corner of France, be it Lidl or other supermakets. It is normal and expected here and never experienced that in the South East of YUK.

I'm fact on my increasingly rare visits, yes people in YUK are increasingly ruder. Britain is broken. It is not the country I was raised in. I am so thankful.I live here and worry about my children and more so for my grandchildren s future in every way.

I can assure you that shoppers inviting other shoppers with a few items to go before them is normal behaviour in my corner of the SouthEast.

Sueinkent

I would have taken even longer. Maybe started again after she spoke. I like to wind rude people up if I can. Bit risky but quite satisfying. If she said anything I would say it was her fault for putting me off.

Imagine being that miserable with your life that that stresses her. Have pitty . She was rude . I hope it didn’t spoil your day .
I do find people very rude

madeleine45 - I’ve never understood those blue tokens in Tesco. How many are you supposed to take? 🤔

there is no need for this rudeness

annifrance

Ashcombe, this is the opposite I experience here in a forgotten corner of France, be it Lidl or other supermakets. It is normal and expected here and never experienced that in the South East of YUK.

I'm fact on my increasingly rare visits, yes people in YUK are increasingly ruder. Britain is broken. It is not the country I was raised in. I am so thankful.I live here and worry about my children and more so for my grandchildren s future in every way.

There are rude people in every country. Is the area of the UK (or YUK, as you seem to prefer) you’re describing also “a forgotten corner”, or are you comparing apples and pears?

By coincidence, I’m on holiday at the moment and have just had a French couple push in front of me at a bar as though I were invisible. Being a polite person myself, I bit my lip, but not when a third one popped up and also reached across me. I’ll try not to let it colour my perception of the whole country.

Calendargirl

I agree about being more prepared when you get to the checkout.

Also being aware of people waiting behind you, and not keeping the checkout person chatting if they’re busy.

But some folk are very self absorbed, especially as they get older.

(Hopefully, not me!)

It isn't just a older people, we got caught recently behind a woman in her 40s(?) using a phone on which there were several vouchers she wanted to use, but she couldn't get them up on the phone properly, or the phone/system was misfunctioning. I am not sure which.

We were stuck there for nearly 10 minutes because we were directly behind her and had a good load of shoppiing already downloaded onto the belt, plus, of course, people behind us. It was a busy time of day

She fossicked around, completely unaware or ignoring the ueu behind her, We did not get a look or an apology, nothing. More staff were called to help sort the problem out. I presume in the end it was. By then I had lost the will to live and DH's blood pressure was rising to dangerous heights.

All sorted out, she waltzed out leaving us to a deeply apologetic till clerk.

HelterSkelter1

I think we must be a bit more prepared. I have queued behind...often people looking like my age mid 70s... at a supermarket checkout who wait till they have loaded all their goods into bags before they then hunt through pockets or handbag for their purse/money/card and all their vouchers and take an age to pay. They could load their stuff back into their trolley, pay with their card etc which they could have already in their hand and then pack stuff into bags away from the checkout at their own speed.
I rarely now go through a manned till and prefer self service because of this. This deliberate slowness and selfishness let's the side down.
But I agree with the OP that there is a lot of lack of patience about especially when you are new to a system and need to take a little more time before you get used to it. The people I am talking about above probably shop weekly so are never getting used to it, but are being quite rude themselves.

This made me giggle as it reminded me of my father coming home and moaning about ‘old’ people hunting for their purse/wallet after they had packed, saying ‘surely they knew they had to pay’. I had to remind him that he was probably older than them.

I agree, I have Raynauds so often can't feel my fingers which makes it difficult holding things or taking cards out of my purse. That person in front of you may have other health issues which impacts on daily living.

Rude and bad mannered! I have found since Covid people are far more rude.. People push in front if you no excuse me, let doors just swing back without a backward glance to see if anyone is behind them and I could go on....you are not alone...

Sorry you experienced rudeness - they’d be sorry if they were behind me at such a machine!…why can’t people be more helpful, KIND and Respectful to each other 🤷‍♀️

Ashcombe, this is the opposite I experience here in a forgotten corner of France, be it Lidl or other supermakets. It is normal and expected here and never experienced that in the South East of YUK.

I'm fact on my increasingly rare visits, yes people in YUK are increasingly ruder. Britain is broken. It is not the country I was raised in. I am so thankful.I live here and worry about my children and more so for my grandchildren s future in every way.

I would have told her, the 2nd words off!!! Cheeky cow!!!

people seem to have less patience and that does make for being more rude. i had always been told i had a purposeful walk, now i need to use a walker, i am not slow or shuffling with it but people on phones always seem to get in my way, i get the usual tuts and remarks, i smile say...i thought you wanted to dance, my glasgow humour tends to be sarcastic, i don't argue with people i just keep saying okay, it winds people up...lol, i find not saying please or thank you rude and i do make comments (always sarcastic), i have in the past asked to speak to a manager and suggested the person on the till needed some customer service training. i understand that people can have off days, but an old manager at a shop i worked in used to say to the staff in the morning, manners cost nothing and leave your problems in the staff room.

It's not just older people who faff about at a checkout, annoying as they are, the younger lot get their phone out, log on then find the store's App to collect their bonus points or savings and if App doesn't have a payment system their banking App is to be found. Can people just not think ahead. As for politeness, at the airport last week whilst able to manage my suitcase (15 kilos) a lovely young man who was loading his onto the conveyor belt asked if he could lift mine for me. Whilst able to do so myself I allowed the young man to do so, just so he could feel his offer was appreciated. There is kindness out there.

My husband was sitting at traffic lights yesterday when the woman in front didn't move on green. The man behind my husband blasted his horn very aggressively. Husband got out and politely asked if there was something wrong. He acted the dodderly old man, which he isn't. The aggressive driver was a bit embarrassed at being confronted. By the time husband got back in his car the lights were red! That'll teach him!

I remember when I was much younger and had to shop and visit the bank etc in my lunch break. By the time I'd found somewhere to park and walked to the shop it was frustrating to be at the back of a line of pensioners fumbling around for the right change. I couldn't understand why they shopped at the busiest time of day when they could go any time. Then I realised it may be because chatting to the cashier might be the only conversation they had all day and they maybe hoped to get a friendly smaile too.
I now always scan as I go and use the smart shop tills unless I'm buying alcohol which needs to be validated by a staff member so then I use a manned checkout. I shop little and often as I like to take advantage of the reduced items and visit different shops for the best deals. I've sometimes had someone insist I go ahead when I only have a few items but I often say I don't mind waiting as I'm not usually in a rush now I'm retired. I try to shop when it's quiet but it isn't always possible so I try not to hold people up by being slow.
Sadly I think people are becoming more entitled and impatient generally. I had to sort out a stand off outside my house (outside a primary school) between 2 people refusing to give way to each other in the road. The school pick up traffic was building up and I couldn't get out to pick up my friend to take her for a medical appointment. I had to tell them to grow up and let each other pass otherwise everyone would be stuck there all eventing! Thankfully one did give way and I didn't get any abuse for intervening. When I told a police officer friend she said I should be careful as some people can get nasty in those circumstances. It's a very sad state of affairs. Some of the school staff have refused to come out and try to direct the traffic as they have been abused by parents!

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