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Rudeness from a stranger in public

(107 Posts)
ACDC Thu 26-Feb-26 22:25:26

I don’t get out much, but today I was able to visit a National Trust property on my own (a very rare treat).
My thread is about rudeness because as I went to pay for parking I pressed a wrong button and had to start again which annoyed the person behind me enough for her to say ā€œ Oh just park your carā€.
It only took less than a minute for me to press the buttons again and get a parking ticket.
I don’t know if I am imagining it or are people getting ruder?
She was middle aged somewhere between 45-50 at a guess. I’m 55. I didn’t react to her at all. I’m not upset just surprised 😳 and sad if this is the way things are going. I hope it was a one off, I will try and press the right buttons next time and save a few seconds šŸ˜‚.

Sueinkent Thu 26-Feb-26 22:31:17

I would have taken even longer. Maybe started again after she spoke. I like to wind rude people up if I can. Bit risky but quite satisfying. If she said anything I would say it was her fault for putting me off.

Sarnia Thu 26-Feb-26 22:50:33

Sueinkent

I would have taken even longer. Maybe started again after she spoke. I like to wind rude people up if I can. Bit risky but quite satisfying. If she said anything I would say it was her fault for putting me off.

Quite right too. Play her at her own game.

ACDC Thu 26-Feb-26 23:10:31

Thank you that has made me laugh šŸ˜‚.

cornergran Thu 26-Feb-26 23:35:12

I think in general there is less patience around acdc. I’ve noticed a lot of huffing and puffing in supermarket queues lately although recently a young man waved us to go first as he had a trolley full and we had half a dozen things, he reminded me there is kindness and consideration too.

Calendargirl Fri 27-Feb-26 06:57:23

Also, if it’s something we’re not familiar with, and takes a bit longer to work out what to do, any ā€˜regulars’ like to show how quick and clever they are, knowing what’s required.

Ashcombe Fri 27-Feb-26 07:08:00

DH and I often invite shoppers with a few items to go ahead of us in Lidl where we usually shop here or in France. This is met with gratitude here but with incredulity in France!! It probably confirms their suspicions about the weird Brits!

HelterSkelter1 Fri 27-Feb-26 07:08:39

I think we must be a bit more prepared. I have queued behind...often people looking like my age mid 70s... at a supermarket checkout who wait till they have loaded all their goods into bags before they then hunt through pockets or handbag for their purse/money/card and all their vouchers and take an age to pay. They could load their stuff back into their trolley, pay with their card etc which they could have already in their hand and then pack stuff into bags away from the checkout at their own speed.
I rarely now go through a manned till and prefer self service because of this. This deliberate slowness and selfishness let's the side down.
But I agree with the OP that there is a lot of lack of patience about especially when you are new to a system and need to take a little more time before you get used to it. The people I am talking about above probably shop weekly so are never getting used to it, but are being quite rude themselves.

Calendargirl Fri 27-Feb-26 07:22:23

I agree about being more prepared when you get to the checkout.

Also being aware of people waiting behind you, and not keeping the checkout person chatting if they’re busy.

But some folk are very self absorbed, especially as they get older.

(Hopefully, not me!)

BlueBelle Fri 27-Feb-26 07:32:19

I haven’t used a checkout for years so much quicker in the self service tills

dragonfly46 Fri 27-Feb-26 07:41:31

I was in a lift with my husband in Stratford East London recently when a girl with a pushchair came in and said to me ā€˜Can you move over’. Under my breath I said ā€˜please’ but I did move over so she could get nearer the door to get out. She came back with ā€˜ I shouldn’t have had to ask, it should have been common sense’. As the lift doors opened she strode off before everyone else.
I think people, especially young people feel incredibly entitled these days.
When I was pushing a pram I was always very apologetic for getting in people’s way.

madeleine45 Fri 27-Feb-26 08:02:03

When I have the choice I try not to go to supermarkets at busy times of day, but always have to use the checkouts with the buggy as it is hard enough for me to unload things onto the shelf in the first place. But my way is that I go round and get all I require and then, before I go to the checkout, stop the buggy in a quiet area, look at the things in the front and move the heavier stuff in front to be loaded first, then I always carry two or three different bags, so that the sturdy one is for the heavy stuff etc., and it is better for me to have 3 or even 4 bags with a small amount in than have a very heavy bag to lift out at home, so then everything is in the right order, and I get my loyalty card out at the ready and go to the checkout. Give that first and start loading stuff on and when they give me my card back I finish loading and move forward and get out my card to pay as they are putting stuff through. Usually I ask if they would please load things into the bags for me and as each bag is filled I put it into the trolley while they are doing the rest of the stuff. Then when they finish I pay with my card , get my receipt and am off. But you do see such a mixture of attitude.

The other day I watched a man probably in his 50's stand and watch the person putting stuff through without even getting his card out ready, and then asking right at the end after she had totted up the bill for a bag. You could shake them when they are like that couldnt you. My thing I like to do in Tesco, is get my blue tokens - which I think is a very good scheme and supports lots of local charities, which I approve of, but I get my tokens and if I see a mother struggling to pack stuff and deal with children, I ask them if they would like to put my blue tokens in the boxes if their mother agrees. It is often appreciated as they enjoy posting them and the mother gets those few minutes to get sorted out .

petra Fri 27-Feb-26 08:13:49

ACDC
You say you don’t go out much.
There are obviously reasons for this. If you were to go out more you would find that the kind and considerate people far outnumber the one you encountered.
At the ticket machines in our shopping centre you see people all the time stepping in to help people who don’t understand how to pay.

GrannyIvy Fri 27-Feb-26 08:32:25

I am the person who always apologises and says sorry when it isn’t even my fault just comes out automatically šŸ™ˆ I am a bit slower and tend to stick to Waitrose and M & S there is less huffing and puffing and rushing šŸ˜‚
My problem is night driving my headlights are the old halogen ones and I cannot see as well. I rarely drive unless I have to at night and I always get someone impatient behind me and I’m not going that slow on little country dark roads!!!

25Avalon Fri 27-Feb-26 11:20:23

Sometimes if you apologise profusely it put the impatient person on the back foot. If they say they are in a hurry the reply is ā€œI do understandā€. Very difficult to argue with.

Esmay Fri 27-Feb-26 11:54:14

Most people where I live
are very kind and considerate,but there's always going to be one who is rude and unpleasantly so .

It shakes you up .
If you let it - it can ruin your day .

A couple of weeks ago a man in his forties (with his young son )was infuriated that his prescription wasn't ready .
He blamed the pharmacist and swore at her
She was upset .
It happens all the time.
I feel acutely sorry for the staff in my local chemist because they have to tolerate a great deal of abuse.
He swore at me and nearly knocked me over as he barged out of the shop .

Yesterday,there was a gang of adolescents who were causing chaos in the cafe ,where I'd joined two friends. They tried to break the large window .

I now take a daily walk no matter how "off " I feel .

I don't want to become like my mother,who had severe agoraphobia which ruined the quality of her life and compromised the life of my father.

eddiecat78 Fri 27-Feb-26 12:14:25

Being frustrated when someone is slow at a supermarket checkout might be acceptable but why would anyone be in such a rush at a National Trust carpark!?

Harris27 Fri 27-Feb-26 12:16:33

I just said this to my husband that we don’t expect kindness as much as we used to. I’ve come across some extremely rude people especially in shops and car parks. My husband still works two afternoon’s delivering prescriptions and he has some really nice people grateful for this. We just have to look for the good or the angry people win.

Hiraeth Fri 27-Feb-26 12:22:33

Long gone ,the times when the cashier had a chat and the customer knew her whole life story at the end . 🤣( and all the other customers )

nanna8 Fri 27-Feb-26 12:24:29

I use the self checkouts too though I regret the loss of jobs they cause. They are more accurate and you can see exactly what you are spending. A lot of ā€˜mistakes’ seem to have been made in the old system - always in the shop’s favour funnily enough. I think I would have made a remark to the person in a hurry along the lines of calling out why they were in such a rush - not as if it was an emergency or a train to catch.

Georgesgran Fri 27-Feb-26 12:28:00

I don’t use supermarkets at busy times or weekends, as I can remember the days of being ā€˜time poor’ and frustrated at long/slow queues. Now, retired and with all the time in the World, it really doesn’t bother me if someone wants to spend a few moments chatting to the Associate or takes a bit longer trying to pack shopping with arthritic fingers. Obviously with a few items, one can use the self service, or that charge as you pick up system (never used it myself) for a big shop.

Live and let live.

pably15 Fri 27-Feb-26 12:55:47

Dragonfly, she was maybe having an off day, but that doesn't give her the right to be rude,

Fallingstar Fri 27-Feb-26 12:58:24

I don’t think there is any need to be rude, some people have to take their time because their eyesight might be impaired or they have arthritic fingers, is the same with young mums who have a screaming baby in a supermarket queue and people tut and roll their eyes, but surely anyone who has had a baby can remember those days and how hard it is. If people are in such a rush that they can’t wait a few minutes with good grace then they need a lifestyle check.

Cossy Fri 27-Feb-26 13:11:13

Absolutely never any excuse for rudeness of this type.

I hope it didn’t ruin your day! thanks

Cossy Fri 27-Feb-26 13:11:39

Fallingstar

I don’t think there is any need to be rude, some people have to take their time because their eyesight might be impaired or they have arthritic fingers, is the same with young mums who have a screaming baby in a supermarket queue and people tut and roll their eyes, but surely anyone who has had a baby can remember those days and how hard it is. If people are in such a rush that they can’t wait a few minutes with good grace then they need a lifestyle check.

Well said! flowers