Rudeness from a stranger in public

Next time someone behind you in the queue is rude, just smile sweetly at them and ask if they could repeat that a little louder as you are slightly deaf. I've only ever had one person repeat their rudeness. A second sweet smile asking them to speak up even louder put an end to it. Worth a try.

I agree there is no need for rudeness. I was getting on 19.29 London to Glasgow train last Sunday and a young woman was in front of me. She stopped abruptly at the carriage door and said I can’t do this I’m 7 months pregnant, you’ll just have to wait , her partner had carried their small child to lay him down on a seat and she understandably was upset at being left with a heavy case (a wheely case). I didn’t mind in the slightest waiting but her attitude peed me off. She also had another suitcase which she had left behind about 3 people and just said pass me that case, then for some reason she ended up sitting opposite me and she pushed my small bag towards me and said move that bag. Someone had obviously upset her I think she was angry with her partner but hey ho the rudeness was off the scale. So yes I agree with you there is no need to be so rude to other people.

ACDC oh you are so good to not fuel the situation, I’m 70 & just have to retaliate which often makes it worse. If I keep quiet then I get angry with myself! 🤗🌷

Ive noticed over the last 5 yrs, impatience, intolerance and aggression has increased.

I think a general feeling of being overcrowded and never enough of anything to go round contributes. There are queues for everything and doing something spontaneously has all but disappeared as everything is full or booked up. It takes forever to get anywhere because the roads are congested and the car park full when we do get there. Medical appointments. School places. I don’t think it’s just us oldies who can remember when things were less competitive either.

When I encounter youngsters with manners I always acknowledge them. They tend to beam and go their own way. But when I hold a door or let some go first or say " sorry" and they don't even look up or react I will say " you are very welcome, don't mention it,or its my pleasure. Maybe I'm turning into a battle axe?

Hiraeth

Long gone ,the times when the cashier had a chat and the customer knew her whole life story at the end . 🤣( and all the other customers )

I remember being in long queue's in the building society while customers talked about all their ailments and life story, where they were going on holiday. It used to drive me mad.
I'm guilty of holding the queue up in Tesco having a conversation with the cashier if they tend to be chatty.

Just been to local Costa where the entrance door is very heavy, behind me was a man with his elderly frail mother, in front was a woman about my age who went through and let the door swing behind her, instead of taking a second to hold it open, just rude!!

I like to shop in Aldi. Items checked, return to trolley, pay, take trolley to bench, pack items, go home.
Seems perfectly straightforward to me so why do so many people insist on packing their shopping at the checkout before paying. Holds everyone up and create loud huffing all along the queue.

My local Tesco has taken out lots of manned checkouts and replaced them with self service ones. The ones for a basket load are mostly used but the ones for a fully trolley shop are either empty of a couple of people with a few items are using them because there is a queue at the smaller ones. This means the manned checkouts have queues. Choice is good but surely if noone is using self service ones it's obvious people don't want them. I try not to shop when in a hurry. I find sometimes people like bus drivers can be very short with people who are not familiar with using a service. I hadn't used a bus for 20 years or more, but recently started to use them to go to local big towns, to sit up top and enjoy the scenery as I have time to be leisurely now. Some people expect everyone to know the same routines they do.

I agree its so frustrating especially for people shopping in their work lunch hour. As I am retired I try to shop out of busy times for just that reason. And try like you Carolest59 to be prepared.

I am nearly 70 but when I join any supermarket queue ,I put my items on the belt ready then straightaway get out my card or cash to pay plus any store cards like nectar or tesco cards etc plus any parking tickets to verify but every time ,the people in front wait till payment actually due then scrabble around for the same .Theres no excuse for it and it’s very frustrating for all those waiting .so yes I do understand people getting mad .

I have a go to phrase…

‘If you wanted to be in front of me you should have got up earlier!’

Usually garners no response - but makes me smile

Patience is a virtue. Some people have forgotten how important patience is

I probably would have done the same as you but with that wonderful thing hindsight I would have said ''I may be slow but at least I'll never be as rude as you". Always think of these responses too late!

We live in a society where pretty much anything is available quickly. Films on demand on Netflix (other providers are available), food delivered anytime night or day, next day delivery of purchased items. No need to visit the library as books can be downloaded instantly. There is no waiting for anything these days. People have lost the ability to be patient. And as for manners, well they seem to be going the way of the Dodo!

The shop lifting that I have witnessed in my local Waitrose was a run through. They didn't even bother with a manned or self service till. They just ran through with a bottle held high to clobber anyone with. They didn't bother about staffing levels!!!

I do use both manned and self service for the reasons of employment, but I refuse to queue behind someone who is not prepared and holding the queue up in a selfish way. I am grateful to have the option of self service.
If I had no choice in a Booths....which is not a supermarket in my area...I would shop elsewhere unless they had a small basket/fast service lane and pointed the slow people to another till. Of course that would then be age discrimination and that's a subject for another day!

And the majority of shop lifting is through self service tills . This obviously pushes prices up .

Well said @Mokryna . Our local Booths supermarket has removed all self service tills

HelterSkelter1

I think we must be a bit more prepared. I have queued behind...often people looking like my age mid 70s... at a supermarket checkout who wait till they have loaded all their goods into bags before they then hunt through pockets or handbag for their purse/money/card and all their vouchers and take an age to pay. They could load their stuff back into their trolley, pay with their card etc which they could have already in their hand and then pack stuff into bags away from the checkout at their own speed.
I rarely now go through a manned till and prefer self service because of this. This deliberate slowness and selfishness let's the side down.
But I agree with the OP that there is a lot of lack of patience about especially when you are new to a system and need to take a little more time before you get used to it. The people I am talking about above probably shop weekly so are never getting used to it, but are being quite rude themselves.

I am sorry but people should used manned tills where possible as these jobs will disappear soon. One less person employed who will pay no tax for social services but has to have unemployment pay, so the companies can get richer.

I’ve found that since covid . People are more impatient and quick to anger , plus more judgmental.
Today I took my mum for a hospital appointment. She’s 90 , in a wheelchair and has a blue badge . The disabled spaces were full , so I had to park in an ordinary space . Because I need space by the passenger door for mums wheelchair. I parked with wheels on the white line . As I was getting the wheelchair out of the boot , a guy drove past and shouted that I was a f**** inconsiderate driver . I pointed to the wheelchair and said this is why I’m parking like this . I did park within the lines once I got mum in her chair . But it did annoy me that he jumped to conclusions.

I have always made a point of being polite to people. But must admit to getting angry at my surgery these days when I pick up (or attempt to) a prescription because they’re never ready and, if they are they’re the wrong item. And there will be a whole waiting room full of people with the same problem. I even find my heart rate going up before I even get there. My daughter said at first she thought it was because the waiting room was full of grumpy old people until her husband needed a repeat prescription and realised how chaotic it all was. I hate feeling angry .

cornergran

I think in general there is less patience around acdc. I’ve noticed a lot of huffing and puffing in supermarket queues lately although recently a young man waved us to go first as he had a trolley full and we had half a dozen things, he reminded me there is kindness and consideration too.

Common at our local supermarket. Last week we let 3 people through who only had a couple of items, I did draw the line after the third lol.

ACDC maybe the person wasn't talking to or about you at all.
Maybe she was watching someone making a mess of trying to park and just made the remark to herself.
Maybe it was her husband!