Rudeness from a stranger in public

keepingquiet

Don't blame the people- blame the machines!

Blame both!

Silly woman probably menopausal

Don't blame the people- blame the machines!

GrannyIvy

I am the person who always apologises and says sorry when it isn’t even my fault just comes out automatically 🙈 I am a bit slower and tend to stick to Waitrose and M & S there is less huffing and puffing and rushing 😂
My problem is night driving my headlights are the old halogen ones and I cannot see as well. I rarely drive unless I have to at night and I always get someone impatient behind me and I’m not going that slow on little country dark roads!!!

I’m a bit the same with ‘sorry’ and it happened today in M&S when browsing clothes, a very tall ( and I’m not short) woman of around 40 pushed into me as she went past as if I wasn’t there and out came ‘sorry’ from me 🤬😁which she ignored anyway.Felt really cross with myself.

How rude. She was presumably, like you, visiting the NT property so not in a particular hurry. Being me I would probably have turned, given her one of my enchanting smiles & asked if she had a bus to catch & then asked if she would perhaps very kindly help me deal with the vagaries of the parking machine 🤪.

I’ve always found that the majority of people are kind and helpful . In fact other rudest ones I’ve come across are somewhat older and seem to think they are special , simply because of the years they have clocked up.

We are NT members so we don’t have to pay to park, but in every property we’ve visited over the years, we’ve had to park the car first and then non members walk over to the ticket machine to pay.

Her comment urging you to ‘just park’ as well as being very rude doesn’t make sense.

I guess we all encounter the odd rude person from time to time but my observation is the same as someone else on here who said the vast majority of folk are fine.

I hope your experience doesn’t put you off venturing out again ACDC

Fallingstar

I don’t think there is any need to be rude, some people have to take their time because their eyesight might be impaired or they have arthritic fingers, is the same with young mums who have a screaming baby in a supermarket queue and people tut and roll their eyes, but surely anyone who has had a baby can remember those days and how hard it is. If people are in such a rush that they can’t wait a few minutes with good grace then they need a lifestyle check.

Well said!

Absolutely never any excuse for rudeness of this type.

I hope it didn’t ruin your day!

I don’t think there is any need to be rude, some people have to take their time because their eyesight might be impaired or they have arthritic fingers, is the same with young mums who have a screaming baby in a supermarket queue and people tut and roll their eyes, but surely anyone who has had a baby can remember those days and how hard it is. If people are in such a rush that they can’t wait a few minutes with good grace then they need a lifestyle check.

Dragonfly, she was maybe having an off day, but that doesn't give her the right to be rude,

I don’t use supermarkets at busy times or weekends, as I can remember the days of being ‘time poor’ and frustrated at long/slow queues. Now, retired and with all the time in the World, it really doesn’t bother me if someone wants to spend a few moments chatting to the Associate or takes a bit longer trying to pack shopping with arthritic fingers. Obviously with a few items, one can use the self service, or that charge as you pick up system (never used it myself) for a big shop.

Live and let live.

I use the self checkouts too though I regret the loss of jobs they cause. They are more accurate and you can see exactly what you are spending. A lot of ‘mistakes’ seem to have been made in the old system - always in the shop’s favour funnily enough. I think I would have made a remark to the person in a hurry along the lines of calling out why they were in such a rush - not as if it was an emergency or a train to catch.

Long gone ,the times when the cashier had a chat and the customer knew her whole life story at the end . 🤣( and all the other customers )

I just said this to my husband that we don’t expect kindness as much as we used to. I’ve come across some extremely rude people especially in shops and car parks. My husband still works two afternoon’s delivering prescriptions and he has some really nice people grateful for this. We just have to look for the good or the angry people win.

Being frustrated when someone is slow at a supermarket checkout might be acceptable but why would anyone be in such a rush at a National Trust carpark!?

Most people where I live
are very kind and considerate,but there's always going to be one who is rude and unpleasantly so .

It shakes you up .
If you let it - it can ruin your day .

A couple of weeks ago a man in his forties (with his young son )was infuriated that his prescription wasn't ready .
He blamed the pharmacist and swore at her
She was upset .
It happens all the time.
I feel acutely sorry for the staff in my local chemist because they have to tolerate a great deal of abuse.
He swore at me and nearly knocked me over as he barged out of the shop .

Yesterday,there was a gang of adolescents who were causing chaos in the cafe ,where I'd joined two friends. They tried to break the large window .

I now take a daily walk no matter how "off " I feel .

I don't want to become like my mother,who had severe agoraphobia which ruined the quality of her life and compromised the life of my father.

Sometimes if you apologise profusely it put the impatient person on the back foot. If they say they are in a hurry the reply is “I do understand”. Very difficult to argue with.

I am the person who always apologises and says sorry when it isn’t even my fault just comes out automatically 🙈 I am a bit slower and tend to stick to Waitrose and M & S there is less huffing and puffing and rushing 😂
My problem is night driving my headlights are the old halogen ones and I cannot see as well. I rarely drive unless I have to at night and I always get someone impatient behind me and I’m not going that slow on little country dark roads!!!

ACDC
You say you don’t go out much.
There are obviously reasons for this. If you were to go out more you would find that the kind and considerate people far outnumber the one you encountered.
At the ticket machines in our shopping centre you see people all the time stepping in to help people who don’t understand how to pay.

When I have the choice I try not to go to supermarkets at busy times of day, but always have to use the checkouts with the buggy as it is hard enough for me to unload things onto the shelf in the first place. But my way is that I go round and get all I require and then, before I go to the checkout, stop the buggy in a quiet area, look at the things in the front and move the heavier stuff in front to be loaded first, then I always carry two or three different bags, so that the sturdy one is for the heavy stuff etc., and it is better for me to have 3 or even 4 bags with a small amount in than have a very heavy bag to lift out at home, so then everything is in the right order, and I get my loyalty card out at the ready and go to the checkout. Give that first and start loading stuff on and when they give me my card back I finish loading and move forward and get out my card to pay as they are putting stuff through. Usually I ask if they would please load things into the bags for me and as each bag is filled I put it into the trolley while they are doing the rest of the stuff. Then when they finish I pay with my card , get my receipt and am off. But you do see such a mixture of attitude.

The other day I watched a man probably in his 50's stand and watch the person putting stuff through without even getting his card out ready, and then asking right at the end after she had totted up the bill for a bag. You could shake them when they are like that couldnt you. My thing I like to do in Tesco, is get my blue tokens - which I think is a very good scheme and supports lots of local charities, which I approve of, but I get my tokens and if I see a mother struggling to pack stuff and deal with children, I ask them if they would like to put my blue tokens in the boxes if their mother agrees. It is often appreciated as they enjoy posting them and the mother gets those few minutes to get sorted out .

I was in a lift with my husband in Stratford East London recently when a girl with a pushchair came in and said to me ‘Can you move over’. Under my breath I said ‘please’ but I did move over so she could get nearer the door to get out. She came back with ‘ I shouldn’t have had to ask, it should have been common sense’. As the lift doors opened she strode off before everyone else.
I think people, especially young people feel incredibly entitled these days.
When I was pushing a pram I was always very apologetic for getting in people’s way.

I haven’t used a checkout for years so much quicker in the self service tills

I agree about being more prepared when you get to the checkout.

Also being aware of people waiting behind you, and not keeping the checkout person chatting if they’re busy.

But some folk are very self absorbed, especially as they get older.

(Hopefully, not me!)

I think we must be a bit more prepared. I have queued behind...often people looking like my age mid 70s... at a supermarket checkout who wait till they have loaded all their goods into bags before they then hunt through pockets or handbag for their purse/money/card and all their vouchers and take an age to pay. They could load their stuff back into their trolley, pay with their card etc which they could have already in their hand and then pack stuff into bags away from the checkout at their own speed.
I rarely now go through a manned till and prefer self service because of this. This deliberate slowness and selfishness let's the side down.
But I agree with the OP that there is a lot of lack of patience about especially when you are new to a system and need to take a little more time before you get used to it. The people I am talking about above probably shop weekly so are never getting used to it, but are being quite rude themselves.