Awkward guests.

These days we have few overnight guests, and even then, only close family members.
Going away ourselves to see people, we almost always stay in a holiday rental or in a hotel/B&B. This makes everything sooo much easier! The very odd exception might be a night or two with close family, for instance in another country.
Never, ever, would I have a friend staying for a week! (A sure way to end a friendship, IMO!)

Goodness fish every night. Is she a mermaid?

Goodness fish every night. Is she a mermaid?
😂😂😂

Usedtobeblonde

A friend I see regularly invited a friend of hers to come and stay for a week.
She has not seen this friend for several years but they talk regularly on the phone.
They are both very late 80’s.
Neither of them enjoy good health.
I did say tentatively that a week is a long time.
I think 3 nights is more than enough, however logistics dictated a week as she had to be fetched and taken home.
My friend was preparing a meal for the first evening when she announced she only ate fish now, no puddings and no chocolate.
She also specified which fish she preferred, all expensive.
I have spoken to M this morning and she is worn out firstly from cooking and secondly from having to shop when she had mostly bought in.
Said friend also didn’t want to eat out.
Don’t you think like me this should all have been said when the invitation was accepted and arrangements made?

Quite lucky she didn't stay with us.

A week of grilled salmon and she never pops in again.

Guest is rude.

I'd get her to order fish n chips every night from the local chippie!

Goodness absolutely.

Haha.

HelterSkelter1

Goodness fish every night. Is she a mermaid?

Hilarious, nearly spat my tea out!

One wonders about the mental and physical health of these two people in their late eighties...

The kindness of your friend is admirable. As we age, our patience towards ungrateful or demand8ng people lessens. My father in law often demanded similar items, and tried to "help" with cooking. His girlfriend pointed out that he was " so demanding" that she could only see him once a week, and she couldn't face living with him. After that I did feel less guilty about finding him hard work. My advice is that your friend needs to set clear boundaries, and probably not host this friend in the future due to the bad behaviour.

My son , wife and three teenage children live a flight away from us so only visit for a week each time twice a year. My son orders food from Tesco that they all like and does all the cooking for them. I cook for the two of us and it works very well. I bake cakes and buns well in advance and freeze them. Even so we are tired afterwards having change of routine and bed linen to deal with. However we love to see them and enjoy their company very much. I think someone like your friend’s guest would get on my nerves by day three and might have to go home!

BrandyGran

My son , wife and three teenage children live a flight away from us so only visit for a week each time twice a year. My son orders food from Tesco that they all like and does all the cooking for them. I cook for the two of us and it works very well. I bake cakes and buns well in advance and freeze them. Even so we are tired afterwards having change of routine and bed linen to deal with. However we love to see them and enjoy their company very much. I think someone like your friend’s guest would get on my nerves by day three and might have to go home!

Brandygran, you can ask the visitors to strip their beds before they leave.

Then call the nearest laundry service and get the whole lot collected to be professionally laundered and delivered back to you. Place in airing cupboard. Job done.

Since being prescribed ozempic for my diabetes I've gone off quite a lot of foods.When I stay with my DS and family I sometimes strugggle to eat some things but I just say give me a very small portion to start with and I'll come back for more if I'm still hungry. I used to eat almost everything, part of the reason I got so overweight and developed diabetes in the first place, so it is strange sometimes struggling to fancy something. I always take a few things with me that I can snack on if the food they have doesn't suit. I certainly wouldn't impose my fussiness on my hosts. Now I've lost lots of weight and reduced the dose I'm getting a bit better but \i still struggle with some foods I| used to love. Good thing I live alone so no-one else has to cope with my needs most of the time. I certainly expect guests to let me know of foods they don't or can't eat well in advance. I have family members and friends who are coeliac so I'm used to dealing with that. The first time I hosted one friend he told me in advance he would bring his own gluten free breakfast so not to get anything spaecial for him.

She is obviously making the most of lording it over you. Don't invite her again. She's truly dreadful.

Usedtobeblonde

A friend I see regularly invited a friend of hers to come and stay for a week.
She has not seen this friend for several years but they talk regularly on the phone.
They are both very late 80’s.
Neither of them enjoy good health.
I did say tentatively that a week is a long time.
I think 3 nights is more than enough, however logistics dictated a week as she had to be fetched and taken home.
My friend was preparing a meal for the first evening when she announced she only ate fish now, no puddings and no chocolate.
She also specified which fish she preferred, all expensive.
I have spoken to M this morning and she is worn out firstly from cooking and secondly from having to shop when she had mostly bought in.
Said friend also didn’t want to eat out.
Don’t you think like me this should all have been said when the invitation was accepted and arrangements made?

Your “friend” took a liberty by inviting another person to stay with you without your prior consent. It appears that she didn’t want the grief of looking after her herself so decided to lumber you with her. Very very poor behaviour.

As I am an eldest and often had to organise things both for family and as a teacher and lecturer was used to checking things , I tend to always to think ahead and ask questions or make plans and think of how things might go. I thought I would be doing less of this as I got older , but actually find that I still do it but for different reasons!

So for example , I have offered to take people to the coast who can no longer drive. However I make it very clear that I am happy to take them, then we all do our own thing and then meet at a chosen time to come back. I have no intention of going round shops or whatever. Not my thing. When I first offered this one lady was somewhat upset and chose to see that I didnt want to spend time with her. However as I explained ,it was to give her and the others a total day to do as they wished and not have to fit in with anyone else. She is now one of the keenest people to do this as she had not realized how much time she spent fitting in with other people. So these days I still sound rather awkward but honest. My way is usually to state that I look forward to seeing whoever it is, but that now, due to my back problems etc., I am unable to have anyone stay , as I cant be the kind of hostess that I used to be. So I suggest either meeting halfway at a b/b where we do not have to do anything, or if they want to come to my area find a b/b or travel lodge place nearby.

That way we spend time together, enjoying each others company but not worrying about meals etc. With different friends and family over time we have had fish and chips and had chinese meals delivered to my home etc. That way they can have whatever they want and I do not need to try and provide food that I do not keep in or know how they like it cooked. It does also allow us all to have our usual routines about going to bed or how we start our mornings.All of which means that we meet up in a positive mood and ready to enjoy our time together. So these days we have no problems and accept that this way suits us better allowing us to carry on meeting and enjoying our time together.

With long time friends it is a different matter, as we would naturally tell each other if anything had changed in what we ate or any thing we could no longer do. That would give us time to work out a way we could accommodate our needs.

I would personally feel upset and annoyed if a close friend didnt tell me in advance, and if it was something that was going to be a major change , especially with the cost of living now, finding that the food you had organised was going to be wasted . If the friendship is important enough I would think what you want to say to them and then either write or phone or email them and put down what you feel and your suggestions if you are to meet again, or sadly you may feel that despite knowing each other for a long time thefriendship has really come to an end.

I think you have misinterpreted the situation.

Hans Christian Anderson stayed for, I think, a month with Charles Dickens and his family.
After he had left, Dickens put up a notice in the guest bedroom to the effect: “Here stayed Hans Christian Anderson for four weeks, though to the family it seemed an eternity.”

Very bad mannered of so called friend to wait until last minute to announce dietary needs (?). When she said this it would have been a good opportunity to say that shopping and cooking had already been done and too expensive to shell out more money to re shop and cook so she could either eat what had been planned or else it would all go to waste.
As it is now you're going to have to put up with this and take good advice from Allira and buy in ready meals. Good luck .

ArthurAskey did indeed misread my post.
I was supposed to see my friend today but she rang to cancel.
I think she was run ragged by the visit.
She told me a few other things which happened but I did realise after my OP that someone may recognise the person or even be that person so won’t give anymore details.
My impression is she won’t be invited again.

ArthurAskey

I don't think that the person was staying with the original poster. She was recounting something that happened to a friend!!
.
.

Thx butterandjam they do strip the beds but the laundry idea sounds GREAT!
Love your name btw

Fallingstar

We had a great guest come to visit a few months ago, a relative from NYC who was desperate to come and see how my DH was doing after having a stroke. She booked into a hotel not far from us and when she came to our house she brought take away with her or ordered it on her way to us. And she never stayed too long just said ‘he’s tired now, I need to go, ‘ before popping into an Uber and going back to her hotel.
As a result I really miss her.

The perfect guest I would say 😊

BoadiceaJones

I once had a guest who was to stay with us for 3 nights-I was going to give up my room and ensuite to her and sleep in a "box room". On arrival she informed me that she could not stay in someone else's home and would need to be put up in a motel. I had to pay. Our water (filtered) tasted nasty and she needed to be taken to a cafe for cups of tea. Did not like home-cooked food, demanded to be taken out to eat, and insisted on fish - very expensive at that time. She came on a coach, so no transport, so required being taken to her accommodation and picked up, and I took her out and about to local attractions. She sat in our sitting room and talked, literally for hours, about herself. Her visit literally cost me hundreds of pounds, lots of stress and exhaustion.

On arrival she informed me that she could not stay in someone else's home and would need to be put up in a motel

Were you not tempted to tell her that there were similarities between "someone's home" and a motel in that both had 'house' rules and varying degrees of cleanliness? Purely guessing here but I'd wager your home, under microscopic inspection, would've rated considerably higher than the motel...

Our water (filtered) tasted nasty and she needed to be taken to a cafe for cups of tea.

I bet that's one guest you won't be 'accommodating' again... next time she's in the area, she might need to bring her own chauffeur/butler/maid along on the coach.

Crikey!

sarahcyn

Hans Christian Anderson stayed for, I think, a month with Charles Dickens and his family.
After he had left, Dickens put up a notice in the guest bedroom to the effect: “Here stayed Hans Christian Anderson for four weeks, though to the family it seemed an eternity.”

... indeed!