Pretty privilege

I remember once struggling to put my overnight bag in the rack on a train when visiting my daughter a few years ago, I didn’t expect anyone to help me, have always managed such things myself, but lo and behold the number of young men who jumped up to help a leggy blonde of much younger years put a smaller bag in the overhead rack. Was not at all bothered though, the poor girl had to listen to a young man who plonked himself down next to her tell her all about himself and how successful he was without once asking about her.
Am more than happy to swerve such unwanted attention.

Reminds me of the time I was 8 months pregnant and on a very crowded tube with my stunningly pretty sister-in-law who was about 17 at the time. A seat was offered - to her, not me!

I remember shopping in a DIY shop with a very pretty friend, I had never known such service before or after. People kept coming up to her and asking if she needed any help. She wasn’t aware of what ordinary mortals put up with.

I have a niece and another young woman in my family who are very striking girls with good manners and nice smiles.

When they were in their early twenties both men and women dropped whatever they were doing and practically fell over their own feet to help these two, both in shops and in public offices.

My younger niece was a nice looking girl, but in no way out of the ordinary, and time and again she would be ignored by the very same people who had rushed to help her elder sister.

So this is decidedly one advantage of being striking, beautiful or handsome and it applies equally to young men.

The down-side is, as already mentioned, that they tend to attract members of the opposite sex who are only interested in their looks.

This is also one reason why the elderly and old tend to be overlooked in shops and offices, unless we compensate by looking assured.

When our granddaughter was around three, people were always remarking on how beautiful she was, and one day she replied “everyone says that!” Obviously I cringed, but with the innocence of a toddler it was true. She’s nearly 20 now and still a stunner.

It is particular in the very pretty girl Trump puts out front to speak for him. Would we listen to a plain girl? It is a deliberate tactic to woo us to his way of operating.
I am also mildly intrigued by a very pretty blonde who is a GB News presenter in the mornings. Seems vacant to me but she is there for the same reason as Trump's girl. Anything that a pretty girl spouts is attractive!

‘Handsome is as handsome does’. Something my Grandmother used to say.
I agree that good looks will get you noticed but what matters is your attitude to others. Once you get to know someone their looks are not important.

knspol 😂

I'm sticking with the belief that even when young the people I met were all poor sighted! ( If only)

I think there is more to it than just looks, although, I have yet to put my finger on it.

My late sister was pleasant looking but nothing special, but she had a certain charm that meant people fell over themselves to help her. In the days before suitcases with wheels, there was always someone around prepared to help her with her suitcase, while I stood by her carrying my own suitcase without any offers of help at all.

She had the kind of job, where a death in service meant a public memorial service in a City church organised by her employer, and so many people told me how surprised they were by how devastated they had been by her death - but there was just a certain something about her.

I have met other people with this same indescribable uality.
Yes, prettiness does get an instant response. A bit like seeing a lovely dress in a shop window, seen, admired and walk on and forgotten. Others have that charm that lingers and stays with one.

My DS has it but it is not just his looks it is also that he pays attention to all those he is with and those around him.

Yes. Beauty whispers power.

People with high cheekbones, like Romilly Weeks, will never have sagging jowls. They will never age.
I think people with fuller cheeks, age faster.
Those are my pearls of wisdom for the day ..

Being average in the looks department, I have a DD and DGD who are both stunning! On our regular outings they definitely get much more attention than little old me! I tend to just fade into the background. Mostly I’m quite happy with this as I’m not comfortable being centre of attention, other times it can be very annoying! Very proud of my lovely girls nonetheless.

Aveline

I've always noticed how I get immediate and excellent service anywhere I am with DD. She's very glamorous. Male staff fall over themselves to be helpful. It's actually comical at times.

Thats why I’m happy to shop with DGD.

Certainly never a looker, but never invisible - still

Oh, it absolutely exists! Right from an early age, children are attracted to the 'pretty' child and want to be their friend. Extra treats and compliments are given by strangers. Haven't we all stopped to admire a very cute toddler and had a positive interaction?

That attractive child grows more confident and outgoing because of the interactions, and is often the first one chosen for teams, group efforts. They grow with the pretty privilege, mostly without realizing it. There may be the odd one that will take advantage of it, but many grow up confident and popular.

I remember once, having won a wine tasting and tour at an upscale winery, I went with an attractive friend. Right from the start, the representative from the winery assumed my friend was the lucky one, and spent the whole tour directing conversation towards her, (even though she did correct him), she was served first at lunch, etc. While not unattractive, I am very average, and perhaps used to being part of the background.

Fallingstar

Indeed BoggledMind, and this was brutally revealed in Wallace Thurman’s classic ‘The Blacker The Berry’.
We only encountered it when one of our DDs befriended a lovely Chinese girl who was beautiful but it was her pale skin that she said had made her a favourite with her family who paid to send her to private school and university over here, but her darker skinned sister had to stay at home and help with the family business.
Very upsetting for her sister I would imagine unless she just accepted it as her lot which is almost worse.

Thanks for the tip about the book, I shall look out for it.

That's awful regarding the sisters, but sadly not entirely a surprise.

I think as we get older we can compensate for maybe not having classic good looks by having a friendly manner, making eye contact with people, and most importantly smiling at them 😊
That will draw people to you and encourage them to help you.

Indeed BoggledMind, and this was brutally revealed in Wallace Thurman’s classic ‘The Blacker The Berry’.
We only encountered it when one of our DDs befriended a lovely Chinese girl who was beautiful but it was her pale skin that she said had made her a favourite with her family who paid to send her to private school and university over here, but her darker skinned sister had to stay at home and help with the family business.
Very upsetting for her sister I would imagine unless she just accepted it as her lot which is almost worse.

Biscuitmuncher

It's a very interesting discussion isn't it

Indeed it is.

It's very interesting how people react to others depending on their appearance ( it's not just physical looks, but also how people present themselves - sartorial style, their manner). I’m not the most handsome chap going (my wife would disagree though) so I make sure I'm as presentable and well-mannered as possible to give myself the best chance of being treated well. The plan has worked so far.

In an ideal world, we would be treated as equal human beings regardless of appearance. Unfortunately the reality is very different.

Pretty privilege is also prevalent within certain ethnic or racial groups, but it's known as colourism. Those with lighter skin tones tend to be treated differently than those with darker skin tones - they're perceived to be more attractive, of a higher status etc. In fact, it's so deeply rooted in India, for example, that the skin-lightening products industry is absolutely massive with billions of Rupees being spent every year. Attitudes are slowly changing but it's hard work.

It's a very interesting discussion isn't it

I think it's true.

My DD are very good looking and so is DS.

None of them take after me; I've had a couple of adverse comments about my plain looks (well, rude) in my life which stung at the time but I don't care any more.

However, I imagine is a bitter pill to swallow for some as they age and despite their best efforts they can’t hold back the tide.
I think someone with good bone structure and symmetrical features would be more likely to 'age gracefully'.

There was a tv program about this a few years ago where a stunning young lady had a face prosthesis made to make her look plain to show the different attitudes/experiences of having a pretty face. The young lady couldn't believe just how different she was treated in the different scenarios she'd been deliberately placed in. It was an eye opener for her she said it was something that she'd never considered, that her looks gave her an easier life than someone not so lucky and how fickle people were. As an ugly mug, I've had experience of this when out with an attractive friend. Being on the sidelines and completely ignored.

DD2 has 2 notable features - she’s drop dead gorgeous and a wheelchair user. Visiting New York every year, she’s remembered in many places and people stop her to admire her looks, hair or outfit. Naturally, I’m ignored!