David and Tristan Tate and their “supporters”

I’ve seen no one suggesting there was a golden part where misogyny, sexual harassment, pornography and bullying didn’t occur. Some of us see tolerating these things as unhelpful to victims. Perpetrators aren’t well served by their behaviour being normalised.

It’s inevitable that adolescents see a mobile phone as essential. They live busy lives, often at high school a distance from home so mobiles become a necessary means of helping them keep in touch. It’s a very different world they’re navigating. Minimising the risks they face isn’t helpful

But hasn't bullying always been a feature of life in schools- not that I am condoning it but you seem to be very naive about some golden past where these sort of things never took place.

Young people need the confidence to express their concerns about these things, yes, and maybe in a way these things were never talked about when I was a teenager.

Girls in particular are vulnerable to low-self esteem being tied up with how they look, particularly on-line I agree- but this would be happening without this influence of the Tates and their toxic ideology.

It is a hard path for them to navigate but despite parental worries and anxieties, kids still have these phones and computers, and parents still pay for them.

Young women

Young girls are being bullied at school by some of these boys who have misogynistic, disrespectful and quite frankly vile attitudes towards girls and women. Teachers too, are subjected to this.

If they are like this at 13, 14, what will they be like when they become adults?

Yes, we do talk to our DGC and the girls can become distressed by overt and online bullying.

I think most of our young women are prefectly aware of these things and equally give them less credence than we seem to think they do...

I wonder how many of us actaully speak to our GC about these things?

Worrying, for our DGDs, with these attitudes, that we never had to deal with.

Cossy

Allira

It is not my grandson I worry about, it is my granddaughters who are at school with some of these young boys with misogynistic ideas.

Yes!

If it hasn't got an engine and pistons, DGS is not interested!

Allira

It is not my grandson I worry about, it is my granddaughters who are at school with some of these young boys with misogynistic ideas.

Yes!

Theroux doc is on Netflix and it concentrates on young male “influencers” who have been “influenced” by the Tate's, and who themselves make a lot of money online by repeating their (Tates) rhetoric.

This combined with the increasing amount of “trad wives” and rise of popularity of Farage and his gang, many of whom appear to believe we should return to times where wives were considered “property” of their husbands, have no money of their own, were housekeepers, bearers of children and 100% available for their husbands gratification.

This all “bothers” me.

It’s not want I want for my grand children, respect and equality is what we should all appreciate.

Maremia

Worrying

🤔

What is?

Worrying

It is not my grandson I worry about, it is my granddaughters who are at school with some of these young boys with misogynistic ideas.

I always think what losers these men are, terrified of women and behaving like the Big Bad Mouse, who isn't afraid of anything - except women.

They are unable to understand or sustain eual relationships with women, so latch on women and girls who are young, vulnerable, or feed off them. All of them, bullies. and, by definition, cowards at heart.

I think there is a link between these men and incels(men who have never had a girlfriend and blame women for this). They have a shared misogyny, and an obsession with how they look. A beleif that women are attracted to handosme men. This seems to be defined as hyper muscled men who display their bodies. I often think the look they seek is more that that attracts gay men than heterosexual women.

It also flies in the face of all evidence. Look around you at couples, in general, couples in your family, your own partnership. Are any of the people you see muscled up hunks, did they get their wives or female partners because the women just fell for those rippled muscles, thier immaculately cared for faces, or even because they had a sports car or wore designer clothes. With few exceptions the answer would be a resounding 'No'.

These men are just not attractive to women, we look for personality, shared interests, that certain something that none of these men have.

As I said; loosers, bullies and probably in some cases in denial that they may be gay.

Allira

petra

Cossy

Not sure who put *
You're completely wrong about the Tates influence in everyday life btw; the evidence in boys behaviour to female staff and girls in class is widely reported by schools.*

Sorry if I’m being a bit dense, are you saying Tates are or are not influencing our young males?

You’re not alone. I’ve read that post several times and can’t work out if butter jam is for or against Tate.

No, as far as I can tell, it's not butterandjam saying the Tates do not have influence on young men, although it is rather confusing.

I think it was in response to this post from keepingquiet who disagrees that the Tate brothers have any influence on the behaviour of boys and young men.

*Quotekeepingquiet Fri 13-Mar-26 16:24:38*

Just to clear things up here- I didn't say (or mean to say) that the Tate bros had no influence on young men but that this influence is over-exaggerated in my opinion, and for what it's worth here.

I have been heartened by some other posts on-line echoing these opinions from young men themselves and I wish I knew how to share them.

This is just one documentary (which I haven't yet seen because it doesn't seem to be on mainstream channels) with a few attention seeking men, and I understand the Tates are not even interviewed- correct me if I'm wrong.

What I was attempting to say is that the whole response to this documentary has been blown out a proportion it doesn't deserve, and maybe we should be focussing on all the young men out there who are doing great things for their families and communities.

For those of you who worry about the impact on your grandsons I would say why not ask them? You may be pleasantly surprised and reassured by their replies.

Allira

^Porn was always around - there were magazines as well as Page 3.^

They were supposed to be on the 'top shelf' in newsagents, out of the reach of children!

For some reason, parks were full of magazines that people dumped. Perhaps someone's mother/wife spotted a magazine under the bed and rather than her finding the whole stash, the other mags were taken to a park and dumped.
Mind you, go back to the early eighties, while porn was making big inroads into the video market, video recorders were quite rare, the internet hadn't been invented, so the only porn was magazines.

I would say I dont have enormous concerns about the tates influence specifically, I obviously think they should be imprisoned for their crimes if found guilty. There are numerous things that impact, and I think it has been blown out of all proportion, whilst the other misogyny is ignored ( Theroux is a sex work is work guy - I think his ytpe of misogyny is as dangerous if not more so)

Quotekeepingquiet Fri 13-Mar-26 16:24:38
I do think we need to calm these whole Tate influencer things down a little. Yes, they are vile men making a lot of money but are that many young men really that taken in by this?

We mustn't give them attention they don't deserve, though I know most people will just carry on regardless because it is in the news today...

I don't see any much evidence of this behaviour apart from on the on-line world.

I have two grandsons and plenty of nephews and none of them would take any notice of this nonsense. They know what they would get back in return if they did.

🤔

petra

Cossy

Not sure who put *
You're completely wrong about the Tates influence in everyday life btw; the evidence in boys behaviour to female staff and girls in class is widely reported by schools.*

Sorry if I’m being a bit dense, are you saying Tates are or are not influencing our young males?

You’re not alone. I’ve read that post several times and can’t work out if butter jam is for or against Tate.

No, as far as I can tell, it's not butterandjam saying the Tates do not have influence on young men, although it is rather confusing.

I think it was in response to this post from keepingquiet who disagrees that the Tate brothers have any influence on the behaviour of boys and young men.

Quotekeepingquiet Fri 13-Mar-26 16:24:38

Cossy

Not sure who put *
You're completely wrong about the Tates influence in everyday life btw; the evidence in boys behaviour to female staff and girls in class is widely reported by schools.*

Sorry if I’m being a bit dense, are you saying Tates are or are not influencing our young males?

You’re not alone. I’ve read that post several times and can’t work out if butter jam is for or against Tate.

M0nica

i am not sure whether living on an army base, going to a technological university in the north of England then working predominantly in the engineering industry counts as a shelterd background.

I worked in central London at one point close to Soho. I walked around there and it was very clear what was on offer, but people had to make an effort to access it. Not like now where they just turn their phones on and watch extreme pornography on the bus or train journey home.

I agree M0nica. And now our children are not safe even in their bedrooms where they can access hard porn sites that might show rape and violence towards women. Is like the very worst of Soho being inside the child’s bedroom, no effort needed, and no red flags raised for the parents because they think their child is doing their homework etc., is just too easy and some children will find a way round parental filters.

i am not sure whether living on an army base, going to a technological university in the north of England then working predominantly in the engineering industry counts as a shelterd background.

I worked in central London at one point close to Soho. I walked around there and it was very clear what was on offer, but people had to make an effort to access it. Not like now where they just turn their phones on and watch extreme pornography on the bus or train journey home.

I think that's part of the problem.
Boys and young men need positive role models.
The toxic Tates are not the answer.

I think some of you led far more sheltered lives that I did in the 70s.

Maybe it's because I had older siblings who brought this stuff into the home.

One sibling worked in a library and brought the backroom books home, which I read as a teenager and I can say very little was left to the imagination there...

My sibling and I used to help out my mum by making the beds, and stuff we found in an other sibling's room was equally perverted and we used to look at these pictures together. Looking back I can't believe some of the stuff I read.

Did it corrupt us? Well, it's hard to say...

I also recall some pretty heavy stuff being shown on TV too. Also we had magazines in the school playground that were passed around.

Maybe I grew up in a different country, it certainly feels like it at times.

I still think we need to focus on the positive side of our young men's lives instead of making out they are all predators looking to beat up young women.

Yes, it isn't acceptable that teachers are experiencing harrassment in the classroom. What is to be done about it?

M0nica

butterandjam

@keepingquiet When I grew up in the 70s it was perfectly acceptable to be groped, kissed and more by men at work and in the local pubs.

It absolutely was not acceptable to me or any women/men I knew.

Pornography was everywhere- in the school playground, the local shop, on the TV and in the cinemas, not least to say in our homes through newspapers,books and magazines.

That's nonsense. The nearest thing to porn in 1970 UK newspapers was Page 3 tits. UK TV certainly never broadcast an erect penis let alone places to put it. Even today TV can't broadcast the kind of porn images kids can see on their mobile phones.

You're completely wrong about the Tates influence in everyday life btw; the evidence in boys behaviour to female staff and girls in class is widely reported by schools.

I am obviously a decade older than keepinguiet. My heyday was the 1960s and the worst pornography generally available in newsagents in my youth was Playboy. There was worse, if you know where to look for it, but generally people didn't.

Certainly moving or active porn was almost unknown outside seedy clubs in Soho. It would have been the occasional determined sleazeball, who knew where to get 'dirty' Standard 8 films and had a home film projector to use them on. It would have been very difficult to watch them in secret in most homes. comsidring the euipment reuired.

I spent most of my working life in a predominantly male environment and certainly was never 'groped, kissed and more' at work and never experienced much more than occasional groping outside work - and that was certainly not considered 'acceptable'

It's social media. The dark web.

butterandjam

Thank you, I agree, it’s not hidden and only old men.

It’s those young men and teenage boys about whom I’m concerned, it needs stamping on and eradicated!

Cossy

Not sure who put *
You're completely wrong about the Tates influence in everyday life btw; the evidence in boys behaviour to female staff and girls in class is widely reported by schools.*

Sorry if I’m being a bit dense, are you saying Tates are or are not influencing our young males?

It was me, in response to Keepingquiet, who wrote

"I do think we need to calm these whole Tate influencer things down a little. Yes, they are vile men making a lot of money but are that many young men really that taken in by this?
We mustn't give them attention they don't deserve, <....>
This idea of exploiting women for money or gratification is nothing new- it is just more 'hidden' amongst a few sad, lonely men"

The Tates ARE influencing young males.

Take a look in Mumsnet; at the number of mothers now being given verbal and physical dogs abuse by their schoolboy sons .