Soops place of refuge and friends

I had a good day until 3pm when out of the blue with nothing tangible prompting me, the enormity and reality of the death of Himself just hit me like a juggernaut. I cried until I could hardly catch my breath. Such is grief. The finality and despair I felt crushed me totally. I miss him so. People say to me ‘you are so brave’. This afternoon was one of my worst since he died.

Hi all, an odd weather day, dark and late on a couple of showers. I was on the voluntary phone from 9-5, all clients matched with lifts now.
How scary Nannytopsy, I do hope he’s seen and sorted quickly.
MrJ has those reviews Redcar but as you said, with the appropriate nurse.
Thinking of those grieving tonight xx

nannytopsy I hope your DSiL is ok and doesn’t have to wait too long in A&E. I hope he’ll be home soon.
I had a walk in the sunshine this morning but it’s been very showery this afternoon. I had a telephone asthma review this morning, a tick box phone call, but I obviously got some answers wrong because I have an appointment for another review with a respiratory nurse on Thursday, also a telephone call. I thought this morning’s appointment was with a respiratory nurse, but obviously not!
I saw my dementia friend this afternoon. She was asleep a lot of the time and is now finding it hard to swallow anything, including water. It’s very sad to see her like this, she would hate it if she knew.

Enjoy the rest of your evening folks. Thinking of all those who are poorly and those who are caring for them.

Oh goodness Nannytopsy I hope he’s ok and gets seen very quickly at A&E, what a worry x

DSIL had a minor op this afternoon but under a general anaesthetic. His heart has gone into AF (?I think) and he’s on his way to A&E. DD is having to put the little ones to bed before she can go to him. At least she has a good friend that will stay with them. We are too far away to be any help.

Hello kitchen friends I hope everyone is doing ok
It’s a sunny day up here in Inverness, still with a cold wind though. I’ve had a busy day sorting through things and trying to get things more organised and tidy. Mainly in the garage as during the winter months it just gets left as it too cold to spend much time in there. I’ve been busy but feel that I’ve just moved and tidied things from one box to another rather than actually getting rid of stuff. There’s still quite a few of DD2s things stored there but she’s reluctant to come and sort through things and I don’t want to nag too much 🤷‍♀️
Thinking of MrSoop and hope he’s doing ok, also SueD, Fgt and others with heavy hearts
Take care all x

Thank you Charleygirl5 for saying that. You are right it’s so raw at present. When people ask how I’m doing I just say “I’m okay til I’m not”. x

fgt and SueD it is so raw for both of you. Please ignore all the well-wishers and just do what you want when you want. Some days will be better than others, but you will both get through it. My love to both of you.

A quiet day for me, no visits from family as I saw them all yesterday. I had a fairly brisk walk this morning, trying to walk a bit faster.
I changed the bedclothes but left the winter weight duvet on for a few more nights. I put a duvet cover on the middle weight duvet so it’s ready to go on the bed in a few days time (I hope). I also cut a few dead stems from a mature shrub, obviously didn’t water it enough last summer! Hopefully it will recover!

fgt nice to have lavender in a pot by your front door, the pot sounds very cheerful.

Sending gentle hugs to all who need one.
Night night all.

SueD sending the gentlest of hugs ❤️

‘Evening All’

I’ve had an Enjoyable Day. Brunch in a local garden centre with my brother in law and his wife was delightful, just what I needed. I bought a big pot of lavender and a cheerful stripey tub to house it at my front door in a sunny spot. Small pleasures that make a difference. x

I’m aware I’m very self focused these days, not making much effort in kitchen empathy. Bear with me please. I hope to do better in time. x

SueD how kind of you to come here, I’ve not been in your shoes and can only offer a big hug.

So very sorry to hear your sad news Sue,

SueD
Yes everything has changed but is the same to everyone else, that is a good way of expressing it and in a few months you will adjust to a “new normal”.
It is a strange time in the early weeks, but life will settle into a routine of your making.
I am sure family are helping you with all the things that are necessary and looking after you in the other ways, making sure you eat and rest and dealing with friends and neighbours who want to be helpful.
We are all with you in our thoughts, I hope that is some small comfort to you.

Hello, Kitcheners. I am overwhelmed by all your kind posts about my Dh. You are such lovely people and I really appreciate your hands of friendship. Thank you so much. Xxx

Everything is still very raw and painful but there were a few brief moments today which felt almost ‘normal’, though I know life will never return to the old normal. I even managed to get out for the first time since Thursday. I felt as though I was viewing the world through completely different glasses, though. Everything has changed but it’s also stayed the same. A very odd experience.

Sending love to you all. Xxx

It was one among o number of tests Usedtobeblonde. I have been trying to eat healthily and sensibly and am happy to know I’m doing something right.

Just a quick visit to the kitchen.

I had a lovely day in Oxford at a Study Day on Dystopian fiction. Four interesting lectures and a tasty lunch.

Sleep 💤 tight.

That is really good news Blossoming.

Well done blossoming
fgt do whatever feels right. It's early days and you are doing amazing

fgt some years ago I read that when you are newly bereaved it’s best not to listen to classical music as it is often upsetting. I think that sometimes one is able to cope with the emotion & at others one isn’t! Just do what feels right for you really.
I’ve had a good day today, despite a grumpy back. We had a family get together at DD1’s, with her family, DD2 and her family, my two nieces, the husband of one of the nieces and the son of the other niece. The missing husband is still at home in Australia, my niece and great nephew fly home on Wednesday. We had a lovely chat about my dear sister in law, and her funeral. My great nephew is 14, but still had a good time playing with my four DGDs.
I’m tired now so will go to bed and hope for a better sleep than last night!
Night night all

FGT you do whatever seems right to you. I haven’t been able to listen to music since Dh died. At Christmas I would walk out of shops in floods of tears with the sound of “ It’ll be lonely this Christmas without you to hold” ringing in my ears. It took over a year before I could begin to read a book and even now it’s only a chapter or two at a time. We are all different and different things affect us. Do what you need to do to get through the day. 💕

Blossoming well done , have you been active in getting your level down?
When I had my yearly blood tests in July, the pharmacist attached to our surgery rang me with the results and said, Good news Mrs B , you are no longer pre diabetic, I said I didn’t know I had been.
Oh yes she said, two years ago you were classed as pre diabetic when you had your yearly tests but now you are fine.
There really is no answer to that.
I had my eyes tested this morning and we agreed that I need separate glasses just for reading with my regular prescription for varifocals for every day use.
My cataracts are fairly stable but was asked if I wanted to be referred, I said I will wait another year.
I had a Charlie Bighams Fish pie, it was ok but nothing special, the two glasses of Pinot Grigio made it better.
I am now in bed to watch tv.
Have the best evening you can everyone, I know some will be grieving and others very sad.
I send my best wishes and kindest thoughts.

I think you should do what ever seems right at the time. I am not a counsellor (had you spotted that?) but that seems good to me.

Such uplifting news for you Blossoming I bet you were grinning from ear to ear. My HbA1C he know next week. Mine too was 47 when last tested and I’m nervous already thinking about it.

I’ve had a quiet day on my own. I haven’t listened to Classic FM at all today. That’s a first in over a year it was Hinself’s favourite radio station but there are so many beautiful pieces of music full of memories and now sadness I decided to avoid it for one day especially as I’m alone today. I thought “why torment myself what good does it do to trigger such sorrow?”

I don’t know whether what I do is right or wrong really as either voice seems wrong on some level. Do I avoid or wallow in the grief it provokes? Who knows. Perhaps when I start the bereavement counselling it will answer some questions I have about all this.

Good news Blossoming 🌼