Retirement is it what you thought it would be?

Retirement was great to begin with starting with a World Cuise when Dh retired.
We have a seaside cottage, so escaped as often as we liked.

Dh had a stroke and now has given up all his sports, has no motivation and cannot drive.

Last month I was stopped from driving due to glaucoma.
We are now in the process of selling our holiday home after 27 years.

So retirement isn’t quite the same now. I have many friends, hobbies and clubs , so I keep occupied but can’t leave Dh for long., We won’t be going away anymore and I miss the sea and countryside .

Make the most of your health every day.

Will Harlow of Lifelong Mobility is a physiotherapist who specialises in helping the over 50s to improve and maintain their mobility. He has lots of videos on YouTube, and has helpful ideas for everyone, including people with arthritis and other limitations.

No it isn't. The first few years were good but then my husband died after a long and difficult illness. I did do voluntary work for a time but now suffer a lot of.limiting arthritis pain. I do have lots of interests and try to remain positive but some days that is not at all easy especially when you can't get out much. Thank goodness for friends, books, memories and modern technology. I have adapted as best I can to.living alone - you have to really but no this certainly isn't the retirement I hoped for but.you.just have to make the best of what life throws at you!

Westcoaster, I understand something of how you feel. I retired first and then a few years later so did DH so we relocated. We were never very out going except at work where DH especially had to do a lot of entertaining etc. we moved to a rural location with only 1 near neighbour and relished our time together for a few years before my DH passed away. Never took part in any of the nearby village clubs etc as we just enjoyed being together. Now a few years later, life is very lonely. Tried joining a village event and was more or less ignored so never tried again. Most of the time I'm OK but I know I do need some company and like you say the years ahead seem endless.

I love it. I understand what people mean when they say they don't know how they had time to go to work.

I've never been easily bored, as I can always find something that interests me. Since retiring I have taken an MA in an area I knew I would enjoy (as opposed to a work-based subject), done up the house with new bathroom, kitchen, boot room and everywhere decorated. I've joined interest groups, and set up ones of my own, and make a point of getting out and about for lunch or coffee with friends.

My health isn't great and I can't walk far, so I want to keep contacts going as long as I can, in case it gets worse. I also do a lot of Zoom meetings (courses, classes and workshops) - again because my mobility makes it easier to pop to the study than go out. It is so much easier to stay occupied now that the world is available online!

I'm very happy with being able to get up and go to bed when I like, and to just potter about when I'm not doing anything more constructive.

I didn't have any expectations as I have a rare form of vasculitis and was unsure how my health would hold up. As it happens, my wellness has improved dramatically since retiring, thanks to a combination of my aging immune system being less active, lack of workplace stress and being able to rest whenever I feel the need, rather than pushing through all the time. I spend a lot of my time painting and gardening - I've even taken on an allotment, which has turned out to be very sociable - and have also started to learn dreadful Spanish and how to play the piano badly. Such fun! Living my best life!

I enjoy being retired - retired in 2007 - as I can do what I like when I like.
however i'm not enjoying the lack of finance since covid and the cost of living. despite recent rises in my pensions unfortunately I still seem to be living from hand to.mouth as my outgoings including income tax seem to be rising even quicker! and living alone (i do have a partner but we don't live together) i'm the only one paying the bills.
I will not give up my four-weekly visits to the hairdresser and nail bar - they are necessities!
and shopping trips once a week to meet up with a friend plus meeting them for coffee now and again means I do get out.
I am disabled but have a motability car so I am able to get out without too much difficulty but need to use a shopmobility scooter when visiting a shopping centre.
but all in all i'm enjoying life even though my children both went no contact so I don't see my granddaughters any longer.

I do enjoy my retirement, even though it was due to ill health not choice. Since retirement my health has generally improved. I can do lots but hubby seems to have lost his oomph and that can be hard as I end up doing things alone as he likes to have everything set out in advance. Even going to the garden centre has to be planned and not spontaneous. But we're both still here so that's a bonus.

Its a 1000 times better!!! I retired a month after my divorce, I was 63. I had been with my Ex 41 years 20+ of which were miserable. He retired 3 years before me on a massive company pension but I had to wait for my Gov one at 66. Things were bad but it spelled the end for us. I was working ft, still doing everything around the house and he disappeared most weekends, life was miserable. So I petitioned for divorce hoping I'd at least have enough to pay rent or buy a small house with a small mortgage. Sold our family home and made a big profit which meant I could buy a small house. Once all the finances were sorted and I found out just how much he had hidden from me I decided that I would retire! I did my little end terrace up, sold it 5 years later at a profit and bought a lovely waterside apartment. Met a man 2 years after my divorce (ex had a new woman before we divorced) and we have just bought a property abroad and are in the process of doing it up. Im close to 70, my new DH (we married after 2 years) is mid 70s and we are are loving life. We go out most days, go to concerts, comedy shows, holidays and are making the most of whatever time we have left. We are not rich but careful so that we have funds to do the things we want to do. As for my ex he will never be happy, and even less so now that he had to "share" his hidden funds!!! Silly man if he had agreed to half the house I would have gone with that but his controlling nature made him block things time after time. So I gave my solicitor the go ahead to fight for me, and he did. So retirement was not something I had even considered but I absolutely love it, best time of my life (along with my late teens/early 20s when I young, free and single 😜).

I'm mixed about it. I do Child care a couple of times a week. I'm sorting out the garden, plus thinking of decorating the Sun lounge, I'm in and out most of the time. These are just jobs.

I don't feel I have any any purpose, I was a Clinical NHS professional /manager and retired last year at 70, spent many years helping to organise a big Cardiology unit. I'm now thinking I made a mistake leaving and giving up my registrations.

Lots of my chums are younger and still in work, so not around. I joined the WI, and have done a few things for them. I also went to check out the open day at the U3A, absolutely nothing floated my boat.
My DH does some Volunteering work, but I'm definitely not interested in joining him, he needs to do that on his own

So, I'm just spending time doing nothing.

It is great. I left my job early due to workplace bullying so lived on my savings for a year. It was strange to start with and I still kept thinking I had work to go to Once I got into a new routine it is lovely. I see my grand daughters in the week, have joined a ladies walking group and go out where I want when I want and if I just want to stay at home I can. My day time is mine. My partner is still working so he arrives home each day at 5 so my evenings are not lonely. So for me retirement has been good, I no longer have the stress of being in work waiting to see what nastiness is coming my way.

Love it! Better than I expected and still very busy/active/ lucky!!
Currently in Faro for four nights as a quick break away! Retired at 58 and now 75 , volunteering, walking netball, choir, Pilates, gym , travelling, lunching ! Living my best life as long as I am able! Some arthritis and vertigo issues but not allowing them to dictate! I Recognise how fortunate I am !

I enjoy retirement, but think it would be a different matter if we were not financially secure. I would hate having to get smartly dressed and brave rush hour traffic which I did for years when I worked.
I spend my time reading with children in a local primary school one afternoon a week- always puts a smile on my face, go to 3 fitness classes, see friends, and walk the dog. We also help out with our dgc every other week. My DD is presently on mat leave so we have been able to spend time with her, and also give our 4 yr old dgs some individual attention. I shouldn’t have favourites but I adore him and cherish the time we have together.
The only fly in the ointment is that DH has mild cognitive impairment affecting his short term memory. This may or may not develop into dementia. He used to be a keen cyclist and I had envisaged that he’d be out of the house a lot but he’s given up cycling and is always at home unless I suggest an outing. Some times I wish I had more time to myself but I know I should count my blessings because I don’t know what the future might bring.

No. I’m not complaining. The family concerned never asked for any of this, but I’m in a sandwich with a very elderly parent with dementia and a dearly-loved child and their spouse both with serious health issues and disabilities. Plus very lively grandchildren with now divorced parents.
It seems awful looking at how things will, inevitably, change in the future, but I have to confess that sometimes I do.

Enjoying it far more than I expected I would. I retired six years ago and thought I would miss the routine, the company etc but can honestly say I haven’t missed it one bit l. Perhaps it helped that I retired just before the first lockdown in the pandemic and things were different for everyone.
I still have to sort of pinch myself to remind me that I don’t have to go to the. I’ve been lucky having a husband with a good pension and now I have my state pension which is a bonus.
We try and travel as much as we can and I have hobbies which I have time to enjoy.

1summer
".... I have found it hard being on my own, but end of last year I pulled myself together, have improved my health, lost weight and got fitter. I decided life is too short to be afraid and do a lot more on my own and say yes to lots of things I wouldn’t normally do."

iSummer, I really enjoyed this part of your post, quoted above. I am very proud of you and your positivity sets a good example for us.

I have been retired for 6 months (age 67) and I don’t know what to think really. I had a lovely job which I was so happy to do but my husband retired 2 years ago and he really wanted to move to the country to a place where he could have a workshop.
So I retired and we have sold our previous place and moved to a beautiful old farmhouse on the edge of a village. I like it but none of it feels real and I miss my job. I will feel better when I find a purpose I guess. Retirement just feels like a sort of mildly pleasant void if I’m honest.

No it’s not as expected I’m caring for my uncle now who has dementia I’m the only relative that lives close and I’m also his power of attorney. Retirement was thought of finally having time to myself but alas it hasn’t turned out that way.

As a SAHM I never thought about retirement except in terms of DH being home more. As it is, he didn't retire till he was 71 and we both continue to be as busy as always.

We think it's a real treat if we don't have to get up and get going - but we like it that way.

Absolutely love being retired. Not having to live by the alarm clock, being able to fill my day with things I want to do not need to do! I can see that not being physically fit could impact what you can do but there is a lot of stuff you can do online. I do surveys and forum groups to earn a little pin money and keep the old brain going.

Tooyoungtobeagrandma …… well done you ! I do feel for everyone who has ties or mobility issues at this age. I lost my mum aged 95 last year, and am now a redundant mum and Nan, so I am doing everything I possibly can, as no one knows what life has in store, plus I already have lost friends and have 2 who are housebound. I travel all the time on singles holidays, or grown up granddaughters, and spend loads of time in Jersey, as son no2 lives there, and just live life to the full with no ties to anything. Am loving retirement and my kids call me Shirley Valentine ! Haven’t met a Greek man yet tho to go sailing with 🤭🤣 but a girl can hope !

I have very mixed feelings about it! I was made redundant four years ago and due to age - my employers encouraged/forced everyone over 55 to sort their pension so we are financially secure with my state pension due to kick in in 18 months time. At that time, my daughter was due to go back to work after having her second child so we began to look after GS 3 days a week. DH had already retired and was thoroughly enjoying his retirement by being lazy and doing what he wants but he's not a man with many - if any - friends!
I was missing the friendships and socialising that went with my job and was really struggling. DD signed GS up to sessions at Playgroups and swimming which got me out and mixing with other grandparents while DH stayed at home and did school pickups/drop offs with other GCs. - school is in easy walking distance - but over the years he has struggled progressively with mobility and pain when walking due to a back operation some 20 years ago. They told him he'd be in a wheelchair in his 40s he's 69 now and still relatively mobile but he doesn't go anywhere - I never have the house to myself and because he can be socially awkward around people by coming out with stupid comments that derail conversations. He doesn't see it but he has always been this way but people just accepted it even if it irked them. I am reaching the point where I can no longer accept it and need to have a serious conversation with him because I'm seriously beginning to dislike him even though I love him dearly.
I have progressed to school runs a few days a week which I love just because I can get out of the house and have a couple of friends who I see socially with both our GCs and at other times just for coffee or an outing.
DH is starting to get narked about me going out and making passive aggressive comments which are starting to drive me mad. Hence needing the conversation - he's happy with just me - but he's not enough for me and I don't want to always be around someone who makes stupid comments and derails conversations. I want to be able to talk or not as the case may be or go out without having to run it by him first - because he will make a comment - it's annoying and pisses me off big style.
I have struggled with retirement and have had therapy as this all has come about during a time of family estrangements - things have improved since and I now have a little job which gets me out for a few hours a week now along with school runs and looking after GCs. DD has tried talking to DH about the fact that he never goes out but he is just an anti-social man - he said when he did go out he came back and I'd gone out. He completely missed the point that I had briefly the chance to do entirely as I chose without recourse to him.
I think I would feel better if I could have a decent conversation with him that wasn't peppered with stupid comments or barbs. I do whatever I can to get out and find myself just ignoring him at home when he makes inane comments. It is not how I thought retirement would be and all my angst is focussed on this man. I need to focus and work out what I want and improve my retirement. So definitely mixed feelings - having a job gives you a focus and a reason to get up - retirement needs to be worked at to achieve the life you want and hope for. It's hard!

Sallywally1 it took me two years to get used to being retired as my husband continued to work 3 days a week , I struggled to get in a routine , but gradually got there then DH retired fully and this has been a nightmare as he expects me to drop what I am doing to either help him or go out for coffee! . I love him dearly but it’s taken a time to get to get into tandem again, now it’s great and long may it continue , I hope you get there .

I slipped into retirement without looking back.
I do a few regular things each week but otherwise take each day as it comes.
I love the slower pace - it suits my mind and body.

No really, my DH had a massive stroke 6 months after he retired and that meant going on long term sick myself during which we had to move as our house wasn't suitable for his needs , so I "retired" at 60, we had hoped that his recovery would be straightforward by it hasn't and his mobility and other health problems have got worse over the years. So our dreams of being free to go on holidays when we wanted haven't materialised , but we love our new home and we make the best of it.