Calling round later.

Other than family dropping by I just don’t like being invaded by random visitors. I’ve never encouraged neighbours in for a cuppa either. I was quite immobile a few years ago and waiting for surgery…..a distant neighbour found out and messaged me to say ‘I’ll come and keep you company for a few hours and have a coffee” ……..I was mortified with the prospect! It might have come from a well meaning place but crikey…….I didn’t not want her here!
I like to know who’s coming…..and when.

I know what you mean. I am hospitable and sociable, but I also like privacy in my own home. If I know people are coming I can move things I don’t want them to see, wear clothes I want to be seen in and so on. That way, both I, and the visitors can feel comfortable.

I don’t want to live in a ‘visitor ready’ way - if I feel like relaxing by watching Eastenders wearing joggers and eating crisps I should be able to do so without judgement from others. I know not everyone would judge, but some would, and I couldn’t properly relax if I knew my house was basically a public space.

I used to just call on friends and didn’t mind people calling on me . Sometimes I wished the house was tidier but I always made a brew . Since being on sites like this I have realised a lot of people don’t like visitors so I always phone first now .

My aunt kept her door unlocked and she was rarely without visitors dropping in. It used to annoy me as one of them was the biggest bore of a rector who called several times a week and dominated the conversation even when family were there.
She never seemed to mind.

As I am less mobile than I used to be and it takes longer to get to the door I do ask people if they can text me before calling round. Mostly it seems ro work.

You are all welcome whenever, I just love it when people pop in!

I need to know or I can’t settle, it can almost be guaranteed they will arrive when you are in the shower/loo or when you have decided they can’t be coming this late in the day and put your “stretchies” on.

I no longer do 'drop ins'. I insist on knowing a time otherwise I become too anxious and can't settle. I think it's rude that people think that they can just come whenever it suits them.

When i sell odd items on gumtree, I always arrange for buyers to come at 6pm ish, that way I dont loose a whole day waiting in, sometimes they don't turn up...and a wasted day

Absolutely..my daughter in law is the same..i ask for a window..say 2..3..then im not in.Just dont open tje door.Drives me mad

I would not let this bother me. "Later" is so vague, that if I wanted to take a bath, go for a walk, or pop out to the shops and the friend who had said he would pop round later, told me he had come and got no answer, I would simply reply,

"Well, I did not know when to expect you, and I had to go up to the shops. Sorry."

How times change. When I was young most people didn’t have phones & members of the family or my parents’ friends were always dropping in & were always made welcome. We dropped in on them sometimes too.
The last time someone dropped in on me was a few weeks ago when someone called in unexpectedly to return a book I’d lent her. I hadn’t seen her for months. I was busy in the garden but I stopped & we sat in the garden with a cup of tea & nattered for an hour.
Much better to see people & socialise for an hour than just plod on with a series of jobs. And better still, we decided we hadn’t seen two other friends for a long time as well and a couple of weeks later we all went out for lunch.

He sounds lonely.

Just don’t answer the door if you feel
Like that. Up to you of course. 💐

Yes I'm the same.

Cossy

I’m afraid I’ve become very anxious and a bit annoyed with “non” plans and random drop-ins.

When younger, fitter and less grumpy, I used to love it, I just don’t feel the same now.

I’d text him.

Oh that really made me laugh. "Younger, fitter and less grumpy" you nailed it Cossy!

If you had plans you should have told him, otherwise don't worry, just dont take a bath/shower before he arrives so you don't have to answer the door draped in a towel.

oh I so love to read what y`all got to say here... I hate people "dropping in" especially we all, well most of us, have these mobile/smart phones,,, I do NOT understand why people can`t say, at least approximate

now I am elderly, and we have a new vicar at our church, yes, you guessed it, he just dropped by my house , well I happened to have an infection and didn`t open the door to him, I mouthed at him through the glass! other people I hear that he has phoned them before hand... mind you I confess I do not take easy to anyone popping in, I can just about manage if it is a close family member! LOL

kircubbin2000

A friend asked me this morning if I wanted to go for a walk.When I said no he said he'd drop in later as he had a magazine and a couple of small things to return.
Now I can't settle as I have no idea what time he's coming and whether he will expect to come in for coffee or just drop and go.
Does anyone else have problems with vague appointments?. I like to know what time to expect people.

Yes that is me to a T, dislike having visitors when I am working from home, prefer to know when and for how long people are visiting so I can plan accordingly.
I expect it was just an excuse to visit you for a cuppa & chat, so expect him to stay.

Is this still north/ south thing?

Yes, one of my neighbours. She texts and says I’ll be over in a minute with this or that (usually something she has cooked, yes very sweet girl). I wait and wait. She comes about 2 hours later.
Now, I carry on with what I’m doing. If it’s the afternoon, I like a little nap. So I just go up. I leave the front door unlocked. She can come in and leave whatever , in the kitchen.😂

dragonfly46

I welcome all visitors if I am at home.

Me too! It’s a lovely surprise if a friend calls in as they are passing.

If they call and I’m out then it’s hard luck but they usually ring and say they’ve been round and arrange another day.

Everyone is welcome at Casa Primrose. 😁

Call me unsociable, but I don’t like people calling in full stop!
If I am expecting visitors, then I like to make sure the house is tidy and clean.

I live in a retirement village. At least once a month I have people coming for different required inspections and maintenance. This week someone is coming somewhere between Monday and Thursday between 8am and 3pm. I don't have to be at home but this random timing is annoying.

He may just post the magazine through the letter box if you don't answer the door.