Eating with people who don't enjoy food

I have friends who say one of their friends is a nightmare to eat with when they organise a meet up involving food somewhere (anywhere!). She is super picky, criticises a lot, pushes food around her plate with her fork only taking ‘bird bites’ then leaves most of what she has (finally) ordered. They now try to arrange seeing her after lunch for a couple of hours, drinks but no food ….

Do we take it that you were staying with them…….or had you all gone out for a meal? Cannot understand why you were famished all weekend, surely their low appetite shouldn’t stop you enjoying your food.

I'd have gone for a nice stroll - to the nearest chippy!

All her life my poor mum had problems with food and dreaded eating out particularly with non family. She was told she had IBS and that was it. There were many embarrassing situations. She is long gone now but recent events have shown we have Coeliac disease in the family. Mum always thought a nice slice of bread and butter was the safest thing to have, if only we had all known, me included.
Your friends may have health reasons they do t like to mention for not being able to stuff themselves

My DH, his sister and my MIL were the fastest eaters known to man - they should’ve had racing colours on their knives and forks! You could say they ate to live, had asbestos mouths, but seemed oblivious to any taste or texture. I used to leave half my meal untouched, as I was always very self-conscious of holding them back, as they’d already picked their puddings! Years later going out with DH, I’d ask him to eat slower, but he wanted his food like lava! He’d ask if I didn’t like my choice, should I ask him to help me eat it. I’d say it was fine, delicious even, but that he’d wolfed his down at a ridiculous speed!
Luckily DD2 who I eat with quite a lot, is a very slow eater, enjoys every mouthful too.

Astitchintime I was at a hotel type place miles from anywhere and it was catered. So there was no choice and a long taxi to civilisation

MissAdventure

I'd have gone for a nice stroll - to the nearest chippy!

Might only work if one always dabbed a little vinegar behind one's ears as one's signature scent, so as not to be detected Dahling

This happened to me last year when I spent a night with a recently bereaved friend whose husband had always done all the cooking.
I took some gf bread and biscuits because I didn’t want my coeliac’s diet to inconvenience her but didn’t realise that apart from dinner of boiled chicken and rice, that’s all I’d have to eat. 😂

The next morning I was offered the leftovers for breakfast!

Might only work if one always dabbed a little vinegar behind one's ears as one's signature scent, so as not to be detected, Might only work if one always dabbed a little vinegar behind one's ears as one's signature scent, so as not to be detected Dahling

I'm afraid fast eaters would put me off my food, depending on their table manners. If they were 'gobbling' the food down, talking at the same time and generally looking pretty gross then I would probably leave half my plate because it makes me feel rather nauseous seeing that. Even more so if they are fat as well. I think I'd rather eat with the picky type so long as I had enough food on my plate.

Take an emergency supply of protein bars or biscuits with you.

I took my son and his new girlfriend out for a meal. She ordered then didn't eat any of it. It was a very popular, always booked up restaurant, so a bit embarrassing sending back a whole plate of untouched food. I found out later that her diet consisted of several bottles of cola a day and a few bags of crisps.

I live for food and cooking, I have a friend who is the opposite.
She has so many fads she is impossible.

When she last came to stay, I thought I had nailed it, I got her the green tea and filter coffee she likes, her breakfast is always something sweet with nuts so I sorted that, her lunch nothing and supper is basically charcuterie/smoked salmon with salad, no dressing or mayo and those awful sticks of cheese covered in ham from M&S, we don’t usually eat processed food but will make an exception for smoked salmon!

The nuts and cake I made were not right, for some reason she didn’t touch the salad but ate the new potatoes that previously she wouldn’t eat, she now doesn’t have green tea in the morning but previously boiled and cooled water, lukewarm with lemon!
Her milk now has to be lactose free.

I am sick of guessing her needs and quite honestly the whole food thing gets in the way of our friendship.
I am seriously concerned she is making herself ill as her diet is so poor, she somehow thins that if she eats nuts with cake it counteracts all the bad stuff, she eats very little veg, on the few occasions she eats bread it’s white sliced.

I wake up in the morning excited about the three meals I am going to prepare and eat, I love my bread making days and the eating up left over days, I love Wednesday our meal planner days and Thursday when I go food shopping.

I still get out the tasting menu from when we had our Aulis experience from L’Enclume and remember each course!

My friend thinks we are crazy, she even confessed to me that she doesn’t like watching people get stuck into food so now I feel self conscious when eating with her.

It’s a very deep rooted psychological problem I think and sadly she is never going to change.

I am now going to make some pate for lunch to smear on my homemade sourdough.
Supper is left over curry and I will make a lentil dhal to supplement it!!!!!!😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛🎉

I don't really enjoy cooking, but i sure as heck enjoy eating!
It's one of life's great pleasures, i think.

When we visited my husband's family with 5 hungry children we used to have a secret stash of things in a "keep cool" in the boot of the car with cheese and snacks and bread rolls/sliced bread marmite and a box of fruit.

I think they just weren't able to remember cooking for so many. The food itself was always lovely- it was just the portions!

They would buy in extra cream, milk, fruit or whatever but still found it hard to realise that from 2 older people to 9 in total means more than doubling up!.

We always arrived with a cake and some sort of pudding ready to cook, a big 2 litre tub of soup etc and a lot of fruit and eggs "so they don't get wasted at home".

We always managed and they were very generous in other respects. They were aware that the children were often hungry but were disinclined to do treats in case it "spoiled their appetite"!


On the way home, for the journey they would insist on making sandwiches for us as we packed the car. The excitement of the children as we turned the corner and left the village and unfurled the sandwiches will live with me forever. ❤️

I loved my mother-in-law a lot and really miss her.

I suggest you fill your travel bag with easy to eat snacks and accept this is how they are and how they eat.
You had lovely company which is a treat in itself.

Just don't go for too long! You can always come back on here for a bit of a laugh. We found (kindly) sharing our "too small" baked potato or "tiny scones" or "no second slices" of fruit cake kept our spirits up for the duration- and the whole family enjoys looking back on it now.

I m with you all the way MisA don’t like cooking but love eating I love trying new things and can’t stand eating with pickers although of course it’s their choice so I don’t say anything ( except can I have your chips if you don’t want them 🤣🤣🤣.. not really)

Years ago, before so many people were vegan I had a sports student stay here. I knew he was vegetarian so based all the meals around cheese not realising that he didn’t eat cheese either. Can’t remember what I actually fed him on in the end.

It's the equivalent of going for a swim with someone who stands at the edge, wrapped in a towel, shivering and shaking, whilst saying "I'm fine, honestly!" as they turn blue.

I'm a feeder of folk and DH loves a full cupboard/fridge and agonises if we get ' dangerously low' on coleslaw. So always have a lot of food available.
These days I tend to let people help themselves if they want food. I have a lot of drop in traffic from family and just say help yourself if you want anything.
Ironically. out appetites have grown smaller but I still like a comprehensive stock of food. I was a war baby, which probably explains it.

I learned to eat fast at school meals if you didn't the other kids would pinch it, we were much more active than children today and needed our calories, school meals certainly provided that in the 1960s