Are you in your forever house?

I thought I was. My husband died suddenly six years ago and I thought I would stay here. Perfect size house, really close to a gorgeous beach in Sussex, lovely village good transport, great neighbours and lovely family in the same village. Great! Roll forward six years, I am 78 this year and have an untreatable terminal illness and much as I love where I live I can’t manage the house without paid help. I have adapted the house to cope with the disease but then other bits of the body packed up too. So although in my head I am only 50 and full of can do, it’s time to be realistic maybe. Or if I only have say a year or two left should I stay here in this lovely house full of memories and the sea air? I can’t talk to the family as they each have different views or don’t want to talk about it, Right now I am propped up in my lovely garden knowing this is my last summer of physically being able to tend it, so that’s another paid help. I am good at clearing stuff out and donating or selling so there’s no clutter. Although my son in law has been caught looking at my books and shaking his head 😂
. As teenage parents we worked hard like our parents did but never dreamt we would ever live somewhere like this so that’s kind of what’s stopping me.

IU love this house, but now I no longer drive it is a problem. I applied for and received Attendance Allowance to that helps towards taxi fares I really should move closer to shops but at 82 it is beyond me I think.

I emptied my loft about 10 years ago and my shed is full of mobility equipment which was being given free. I may need it!¬

Wwe have lived here for over 30 years and both still love the house. It has quite flexible living spaces so should adapt easily should we need it too. We purposefully chose a house with a small garden and close to the village centre.

I think the children would disown us if we moved.

beachcomber76

I agree Rocketstop2 despite what I've just written. Any problem neighbour making my life a misery and I'd have an estate agent round straight away. I do not believe in being a martyr to anyone or anything when your life is being disrupted and peace shattered.

{All neighbours very good here - so far].

Yes that's a good point, nothing is worth losing your peace for .

I think you can never say never, events dear boy, events!
While I like my house I hope that a small bungalow somewhere quieter will appear to move to when I retire.

I've never lived anywhere else but in this house. Logically, it's too big for us now - and the very large garden is definitely getting too much for us, but it would break my heart to have to leave here.

Yes. Perhaps a bit too large for just us two, and the garden might be a problem one day, but we have lovely neighbours. A short walk takes us into the village. Dentist, doctor, chemist, coop, station, and good buses into town. We are also very near the sea and the coastal path. I think we’ ll stop here.

I agree Rocketstop2 despite what I've just written. Any problem neighbour making my life a misery and I'd have an estate agent round straight away. I do not believe in being a martyr to anyone or anything when your life is being disrupted and peace shattered.

{All neighbours very good here - so far].

beachcomber your home sounds idyllic to me 😍
I hope to be in this house ‘forever’ as it is the right size in a good location with great neighbours around us.
But it would be different were I left living in it alone at some future time.
It would be too big for me to manage.
But that bridge will be crossed if I have to.

We’ve been in ours for over 40 years. It’s a 4 bed but not huge or unmanageable, so no plans to move at present.

If I were left on my own, though (I certainly hope not but must be realistic) I would certainly sell and move to a flat, but only one with a balcony, and not ground floor, since I need to be able have bedroom windows open at night. Bungalows around here are like hen’s teeth and comparatively very expensive!

I don't think you can ever say anywhere is your 'Forever house' You might want it or perceive it to be , but circumstances can change so quickly as can needs . I'm settled where I am, it has it's down sides but also a lot of up sides but if I won the lottery say, who knows !!

I've moved several times due to circumstances, poor neighbours or just to enjoy doing a place up, and then move to do up another one. Gradually got away from estate types houses.

When I moved here 15 years ago it was a bargain so I thought I'd do it up and move on. No. I loved it the minute I walked in despite having to do a lot of work here.

It's a 1950's semi detached bungalow, no other one like it, with large garage, drive and gardens. It is so homely, light and well built, room sizes just right, gardens facing south/south west. Near GP, High St shops and small shopping centres in walking distance, bus routes to the beach in one direction and in another to the nearest city.

No reason to move. I liked my other places of course, but really love this one. I've done it all up inside and out to suit me.

Yes, hope so. We recently downsized to our lovely flat. Hope it will be the one.

We've been in our house for over 40 years and hope to stay here till we are carted out. We'll get stannah stair lifts when the time comes but we are updating bathroom, wet room, and kitchen this year for our later years. We have within 5 minutes walk all the facilities we need including doctor, dentist, 3 big shops, a small hospital and an excellent bus service, nice neighbours, and family around the corner. Oh, and lots of trees, birds and flowers.

I have lived in many houses and made each one a home. I look on each house as mine for now. My last house I lived in for 17 years, after my marriage ended. It became home for me and my children and a safe space. This house i live in now will probably be my last one

I hope not. This house has never been my home; simply a place of convenience and one that I have to live in. I'm counting down the months to when I can sell it and move on.

I think I will stay here until I die or need to go into a Home.
I have a downstairs loo and shower, though it is too small to be easily accessible. I can get a stairlift if I need to. I have kind neighbours.
My life is here and my family are not too far away. There is a bus just down the road, I can walk to handy shops and small town facilities. etc.

We moved here after DH’s Parkinson’s made it clear that a bigger village with some shops would be sensible though the house is about the same size and the garden larger. Since DH’s death I do rattle around rather but like where I am so until I can no longer run my own life I shall stay put - and leave the awful job of dealing with the books, furniture and assorted stuff to the children to deal with.

I don't think we'll move, unless circumstances change. As our children both live in different areas, either of them needing us to be close by would probably be the only reason we'd consider it - or possibly if either of us were left alone it would make sense to move closer to one of them.

Otherwise, I love my house. It's not huge, but big enough for us both to live in without being in one another's pockets. It's handy for local amenities, and we both love the town. We've been working through the house to make it as comfortable as possible to be retired in, and have taken account of 'future proofing' as we've gone, so with luck we could stay here for a long time with relatively minor adjustments such as a stair lift if necessary.

I'd like this to be our 'forever home', but life happens, as they say.

Ive been in this house for less than a year, moved here as I have some family and despite loving my last house of 25+yrs i moved to get away from the increasing traffic and building works. I'm now in a semi new build (5yrs old) in a market town with fields and stream closeby my daughter now lives with me, I dont love the house or garden but it has excellent transport and trains to London at the moment i drive but if need be I can use free buses locally. Plenty of farm shops and market. The house is a good fit for both our needs and a spare room for family to stay.
As long as I can manage the stairs or get a stairlift I can't see me being bothered to move again.

Sensible decision AmberGran
I hope your husband continues to do well on his treatment.

I have been in this house for 23 years. The longest I’ve ever been in Any house and I shall be leaving here in my box. 🤗

We've been here nearly 40 years. Family have all moved out so it's just us. Before this house I had never lived in one place for more than 5 years before, so I've never really got attached to houses. This one was good for bringing up the family - work, schools, friends, etc - and I've loved growing a beautiful garden. But I think the lesson I have learnt from moving so much is that any place can be home.

Before DH got cancer we were planning to move further north, but now everything is on hold as he is being treated at a really good hospital and we don't want to leave the area until we are happy is health is back on track. Then I think we will probably start looking again.

We downsized from our semi of 32 years, split the money and bought two small apartments - one here in south Manchester and one in Málaga. We’ve had the Spanish apt 22 years now and this UK one for 16 years. I love each of them for their own reasons.

My husband died 16 weeks ago today and as he urged me to pick up the threads of my life again I’m learning to hop between the two again.

I love having a foot in both camps. The best of both worlds I think. Good friends over the years in both places with the added bonus of family in the UK.

Small spaces wouldn’t suit most people. No UK garden, no pets, no room for crafting etc but to be honest I just absolutely love my lifestyle. I’m just so sad my 73 year old husband is no longer with me to enjoy it all.

i am not sure what an forever house is. Any home includes the possibility of needing to move on at some time. Anything from a financial catastrophe, disability, death, job change

In my early 80s, I have just moved house, I still cannot guarantee that I will be here until I die.

We lived in our last house 30 years, the previous one for 15. Moving on was not on the agenda when we moved in, but eventually we did. In each case for very good reasons.

This is our 'very happy as things are at the moment.no plans to move' house.