In 2020 I was diagnosed with Neuroendocrine cancer. Had a tumour in my lung that was successfully removed and coasted along since.
I’ve not felt well for a long time, diagnosed with ibs, ibd, asthma, copd diverticulitis the list goes on but the long and short of it is it’s normal to be misdiagnosed with these ailments and more when you’ve Neuroendocrine cancer etc. I knew I’d always have it and will always have regular scans etc for life.
Last September I had a tumour removed off my head which turned out to be another NET (neuroendocrine tumor) I’ve a lump in a breast, a tumour in liver and my lymph nodes are enlarged at the entrance to lungs so am awaiting a biopsy - they were going to remove the liver tumour but now they’ve put that on hold and are now talking chemo once I’ve had the biopsy on the lymph nodes etc because there’s so much going on.
I was fine, I’d tell myself I could sit and cry but it won’t change anything, it’ll all still be there so what’s the point!
I’ve just spent almost three weeks in bed, got run down and a virus hit me like a brick wall.
After meeting with oncologist and talking to my cancer nurse this week is when I was told they’re not doing the liver op now and going for chemo etc x
Chemo doesn’t scare me as much as surgery - but today it’s hit me head on! I’m tired of being tired. Can’t stop crying feeling sorry for myself and all I want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep!
All I want to do is feel normal. I feel useless. I can’t look after my family - yes they’re all adults now and I’ve a beautiful grandson but I want to be able to at least do something!
I could talk to someone (counsellor) but they’ll tell me what I already know, what I’d say to anyone sat in front of me saying these things.
My daughter in law has done exactly that but I feel guilty because they’re all worried about me and they’ve their own stresses and pressures of life without me adding to them.
I don’t think anyone can help me, maybe just writing all this down and re reading it back to myself will help.
Anyone with any words of wisdom though I truly would appreciate it xx
and a virtual (((hug))) will be of some comfort xSoops kitchen, a place of reflection, refuge and at times revelry.
Has The 'Green Belt' Been Discreetly Abolished?
My father 81 needs wrist surgery for a bad fracture and I am worried
