Weddings .......

That was lovely Sue, so nice that her dad got to see her married,

The daughter of an acquaintance of mine is a bridesmaid at an upcoming wedding and has just found out that the hen involves 5 days abroad which she can't afford. She tried telling the bride who has now rescinded the bridesmaid offer but still expects her to pay for the bridesmaid dress which is all but finished.

I find it hard to understand these "conspicuous consumption" weddings with each bride trying to outdo the previous event they attended. Do you really need the cocktails, the snacks, the hog roast and the fireworks? And the cost of hiring a castle or large country house must be absolutely astronomical.
We had a smallish (50 people) simple wedding with a meal in a local hotel, as was common in the 70's. I think my mother would have liked me to be more excited, but for us the point was to be married in front of our family and friends, not to spend the equivalent of three year's salary on just one day.
My son had a more elabourate wedding, largely because my DIL comes from a large close family, but they planned it themselves over a couple of years, booking it very early so that they could use a reasonably priced venue.
I can't bear the modern hen night, I've been to a couple but wouldn't want to do any more. Some couples both have an overseas weekend trip which must be a real financial burden for some of those invited - I just can't understand the point.

Vanity projects

A wedding a friend went to recently took the biscuit as far as I'm concerned. Over 200 people were invited to a country church wedding. The very maximum the church could hold was 130. Over 70 guests had to stand outside. In the area the wedding was held it's very much a case of how can we outdo the last one that was held.

Hollywood, the media coverage of celebrity or royal weddings and the wedding industry has a lot to answer for.

At least these days, most couples are paying for the wedding themselves.

Yes, to me it seems stupid and improvident to pay thousands for a dress you will only wear once, an expensive reception and honeymoon, especially if the couple are taking out a loan to do all this.

But it is a trend, and like all trends will die out at some point, and as long as no-one is asking me to foot the bill, I can manage to keep my sarcastic comments to myself when listening to anyone's wedding plans. (although holding my tongue has never come easily to me.)

Like potty training, daughter in law and probably the weather, other people’s weddings, particularly those of the younger generation will always generate lots of heat.

Is it any of our business?
I think not.

Some brides like a fuss and a big doo.

That was our youngest. Married 2010. Manchester Town Hall. Cellist from Chethams school of music. Wedding planner. The works. 🎉

Eldest girl said she’d rather stick pins in her eyes. Registry office on a Monday late morning in Yorkshire. Two friends acted as witnesses. No family (either side attended) “it’s a marriage mum, sensible now we have a mortgage”. She didn’t even change her surname to his.

Both (still) very happily married. It was ‘their’ day and they chose what suited them best. Happy mum.

I think it was at Kate Winslet's wedding which was a sausage and mash do at the local pub ! Best wedding ever !!!

My DD is a wedding photographer and as such sees a lot of stressed brides and family dynamics.

There is one Scottish venue which she really likes as they will help the frazzled brides its usually the bride to keep calm, loan things to save money, and generally help to take the pressure off.

DDs own wedding was planned by her to perfection apart from my outfit which she disliked

Our wedding 57 years ago was a very simple Quaker wedding. We made our own sandwiches and DMiL made the cake.
Also we had no children yet! 😀 A lot less complicated.
Hen do? What was that🤣😂😅

some of the best weddings we've ever been to, the reception has been held in the local community centre, a lovely 3 course meal and dancing afterwards..

Thank you, Pabley.

We went to a wedding a few years ago where costs were well into six figures, the bride’s family being very wealthy. (Not sure why we were invited!)

That same year, we went to a wedding in a local barn, decorated with greenery from local hedges, and we feasted on pizzas and salads.

Both weddings were equally enjoyable and memorable, and if the parties have the ‘cash to splash’, why not? It’s providing employment for a lot of people.

I live quite nearby a hotel that is awarded the world wedding hotel of the year, think fourth time recently.
There are pictures posted on FB of each wedding (in house photography) and when I see wedding wuth about 7 bridesmaids and groom"s men I shudder at the cost of that alone. Goodness knows what the wedding dresses cost. Between see through corset bodices, tops so low just about everything is ready to fall out or cut so narrow there is no back or sides to the top of the dress. It's all definitely all about "look at me" and don't bother about the reason why we are all here. Being an old fuddy duddy of course there are the ones where the couple's children are in the group too. Why bother with such a show when obviously been living as a family for years already inless they have wakened up to the inheritance issue when not married. Weddings have gone mad.

Obviously 'each to their own', we cannot influence someone elses decisions, especially if we have never met them, but it doesn't stop us being judgemental!

Looking back over a lifetime of weddings, as a general rule, one already mentioned by others, is that the bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage, with some exceptions.

Certainly the happiest and most enjoyable weddings I have been to have been the informal and the home made and all those marriages have lasted.

4allweknow,
I certainly agree with you about the styles of some wedding dresses now, cut out at the waist with just a bit of see through lace covering, how times have changed..

I agree MOnica one of the loveliest weddings I went to was held in a village church. Bride, groom and guests all walked through the village to the church. The reception was held in a marquee at the bride's parents home. I always remember that lovely day.